Archive for the ‘parental abuse’ Tag

It doesn’t have to be intentional for it to be abuse

Sunday, November 13th, 2016

This is controversial because many people will disagree that abuse can be unintentional. I have talked about before in this blog how I can see myself doing financial abuse due to my money anxiety so that was why my husband took over the finances. I was driving him crazy with my anxiety about money he felt he couldn’t live a life because I would freak out if I found out he had spent a dollar and I was already talking about taking away his cards so I wouldn’t have to worry about him spending any money and having anxiety. This wasn’t about control, it was about my comfort zone and to relieve my anxiety to make my life calmer and to feel in control of my life again because of the unknown and my husband wasn’t supporting that. This is an example of unintentional abuse and how a mental illness or a disorder can attribute to abuse.

What about a parent who isn’t aware their kid has a disability because they look normal and seem normal. Asperger’s is a hidden disorder and so is ADHD and anxiety and other things that makes the kid act different. So what if the parent was unaware their kid had anxiety so they were always getting mad at them for their fears and over reaction and calling them a baby and forcing them into situations they feel uncomfortable in. At age six I was forced to ride on a big ferris wheel and my mom and dad didn’t care about my fear of it and the reason why I was scared was because I was worried it would give me this feeling in my stomach that some rides give you and I didn’t like that feeling and I had been on a ferris wheel that gave me that feeling so I felt too nervous to ride on one again that went too high up. Lot of people will agree that it is cruel to scare your child but that is what my parents did to me, they scared me and forced me into something I feared and got mad at me for crying and for being scared and didn’t give rats ass. I would call this unintentional abuse. I don’t think they did it to be cruel. Most people are not afraid of ferris wheels so how were they supposed to know my fear was real? They were ignorant then. My dad is still ignorant about my anxiety. I don’t fear ferris wheels anymore. Back then being forced on it was like walking the green mile or walking to the torture device because you know what is going to happen and you don’t know what is going to happen like how much pain you will feel, if it will hurt or not. That was how I felt going on that ride. I didn’t know how bad it would be, how much it will be scary and how bad the feeling in my tummy would be when we go down. I realize I probably did have anxiety as a young child but it wasn’t prominent then so no one knew. Instead I would be told to stop or being called a baby so therefore my feelings would be invalidated and I did feel then as a young child that my mom didn’t care about me. I just assumed then she knew because I didn’t know my feelings were not normal and my mom had assumed my feelings were normal but was over reacting or just whining. Ironically my mom is against people scaring kids and breaking them by making them fear you so they will listen but yet she did the exact same thing  to me when I was a kid. Then the time I didn’t have anxiety about being dumped on the side of the road because I figured I would just hitchhike home, my mom was mad because I didn’t have beg her to not leave me on the side of the road. Yes that is fear right there you are doing to your kids and you say it’s not good to scare your children?

Then there is ADHD. I can’t count how many times I have read online by people who grew up with undiagnosed ADD or ADHD, they always got in trouble for losing things and always got in trouble for not being able to sit still or pay attention or for forgetting things, etc. It was as if they were abused. I would call their abuse unintentional because no one was aware of their ADD then. I can’t imagine how hard their life must have been the the anxiety they must have had growing up and the low self esteem.

But because abuse implies intent, people will say they were not abused or say someone they know isn’t abusive because they know their partner or child doesn’t do it on purpose. Then of course when someone has a mental illness, their victims may still call them abusive and say their actions are intentional.

What about those who suffer from NPD or BPD, they tend to lack self awareness. They may not see themselves as being abusive. I noticed on the forum on Reddit by BPD victims that the borderliners tend to rewrite history so they have “amnesia” about their abuse they did to their child or partner. Jerry seemed to have rewritten hers when she said she did none of that stuff I said she did except for “taking too long” to give me back my Dish Network piece. Also people with BPD don’t realize they are being manipulative and may not see their behavior as manipulative because to their perspective they are just trying to get their needs met like everyone else. But that never matters to the victim. It only matters what the borderliner is doing, not their intention behind it.

Then there are people who have NPD and they also seem to lack awareness of their own behavior so to me it seems like their behavior is unintentional if they are unaware which is why it’s probably a disorder, an illness. Many people disagree that personality disorders are a mental illness and want to keep these separated from mental illnesses. But the truth is mental illness is also a spectrum. It can range from evil to none evil. Maybe people like to separate personality disorders from a mental illness because they don’t want the stigma on mental illness.

In a way I do feel sorry for those who have NPD and BPD because they are their own worst enemies and they didn’t choose to be that way and I can’t imagine having those disorders and hurting people and not even being aware and seeing myself as the victim. I cannot imagine having a disorder only to find out my own emotions are wrong and my feelings are wrong and not knowing when they are valid and not being entitled to them. We often hear that everyone is entitled to their feelings and that people should trust their gut instinct but that doesn’t seem to apply to those who have BPD. That only applies to “normal” people. Most stuff we read out there is aimed at normal people assuming whoever is reading it is “normal.”

I have anxiety but stuff I find online about what to do about yelling at your kids, none of the advice I read is helpful because it’s all about staying calm and stuff but what do you do if your kids are the ones giving you anxiety and you can’t be calm unless your kids stop? There is no parenting articles out there aimed at parents with autism or anxiety about yelling at your kids. And too much yelling is abuse so that would mean I am doing unintentional abuse.

Because abuse often implies intent and also has a bad stigma to it, no one wants to see themselves as an abuser even if their actions are abusive. Even the loved one doesn’t want to see their child or partner as abusive especially if they have trauma or a disorder or came from an abusive background themselves where they grew up around anger and abuse or neglect. I didn’t want to see Jerry as an abuser when I was with her so I always defended her and made excuses for her like she has anxiety, she is worried about what people might think of her, she has PTSD, she has AS so she is just being honest, her ex called her a pedophile so now she ignores me if I am not acting mature enough for her. But all that did was it hurt me and I let that all happen instead of sticking up for myself and now I have myself to blame. So that is why I will never ever let anyone abuse me again and no disorder or mental illness will change that and only their actions and how they treat me matter, not their intentions and I don’t care what their intentions are or if it’s on purpose or not. I need to care about my own mental health and protect myself from any abuse. I also need to stay away from anyone who is abusive. I still get triggers to this day from certain things I read when something reminds me of Jerry. I even had to block someone on a forum when she made a trigger post and what she was writing were similar feelings to what Jerry had so I took a great dislike to her and blocked her because she was triggering. But I wasn’t the only one who had blocked her because she had left that forum and I saw her posting elsewhere online saying she was ignored because people didn’t agree with her views. Her views? Is she shitting me, she was a bigot on ABDLs and then pulling the “I still love you” crap like Barney. Ugh.

Now here is an article that talks about unintentional abuse but it’s about parents doing it:

Understanding Unintentional Abuse




They call him Chucky

Monday, September 12th, 2016

I think I am going to start posting videos and news articles of violent kids. I am glad some people are aware of it already. Maybe if more people make documentaries about it, people will get more aware and maybe more help will increase for these families and parental abuse will be taken more seriously.

They call him Chucky. I think it’s an exaggerated term they are using because the doll was out killing people and this boy doesn’t kill anyone nor does he injure anyone. He just terrorized his family and his 16 year old sister moved out and the parents were upset about it. She had to see a therapist to cope with his abuse. The parents have four children together. They said he is only violent at home but baloney because he has been kicked out of several schools for attacking other kids there so he now had to attend a special school for kids with behavior disorders.

They are able to seek the child help and then they finally threaten to put him in a home and that fixes him for the most part. He still had his moments but only rarely now. Gee what took them so long to come up with that threat?

Reading the youtube comments, it’s weird how many people think whooping him will solve the problem. Ironic that they think solving violence with violence is the answer. But perhaps they are talking about self defense here. Maybe they mean while he is abusing them, not after. But the mom seems to know how to fend for herself against him. She can hold him down, grab his arms to keep him from hitting her. She can wrestle him too.

Let’s Talk About Kevin (my thoughts)

Monday, September 12th, 2016

This post contains spoilers:


I have heard about this movie and it’s used as a meme online by saying “Kevin.”

I finally watched it on Netflix and the Kevin was obviously disturbed from the very beginning from birth. People have bashed on the mother saying she is a terrible parent and that she is the cause of how her son turned out. I disagree because she did try to bond with him, she did what all mothers would do. She held him, trying bouncing him, playing ball with him, teaching him words to talk, reading to him, teaching him to count. He was obviously intelligent because he knew lot of stuff already like he could count to 50.

Kevin took a dislike to his mother right away because he wouldn’t act “normal” to her. He bonded with his father and doctors said he was normal when Eva (the mother) showed concerned and thought he might have autism but Kevin responded to his doctor and didn’t ignore him like he did for Eva despite not saying a word in the office.

Kevin also refused to toilet train to egg his mother on as I read in one of the comments on IMDB and after pooping his diaper twice, Eva snaps and tossed him on the ground breaking his arm. Kevin surprisingly covers for her by making up a convincing story that sounds true . That part confused me there. But maybe he did it so he could torture her more because if he had told the truth in the hospital, they would have called CPS, Eva would have been arrested and he wouldn’t see his mom again so who would he go after next? His dad? But I am thinking of adult logic here instead of kid logic. Would any kid that young be aware what would happen if a parent hurts their child?

Kevin always ignored his mother except for when he was sick and then he pushed his father away and the kid liked to terrorize the mother and verbally abuse her and not treat her with respect.

Then finally he gets to his teens they and they are bonding a little bit but there is still no emotional connection between them and no conversations between them, only a few sentences and words and that’s it.

People say how the mother ignored the problems, she did try to get her kid help I but got shot down for it by her son’s doctor and husband. But when the dad did finally know, why didn’t they take him to a doctor is beyond me. But even if they did, he still would have manipulated the psychiatrist and he would have turned out to be “normal.”

The mother also seems emotionally distance herself and seemed to not also be able to bond with anyone but could with her daughter but you could tell she still wasn’t all there.

Why did Kevin pick his mother to be his true self around is beyond me.  He also did his “school shooting” but used bow and arrows to kill his dad and little sister and then kill students at his school locking everyone using the same method. Then he turned himself in.

He picked his mother to be alive by not killing her so she would suffer more. The mother also punishes herself by taking abuse from her neighbors and still sees her son in prison and makes a room for him for when he gets out.

I found this movie to be disturbing because Eva loses her whole family so I can understand why she would still have Kevin in her life because he is all she has left for her family and the fact how manipulative Kevin is and how charming he is and how he treated his mother. People harp on about how she did nothing about it but IMO that is irrelevant because he would have just manipulated the doctors and there wouldn’t have been anything the mother could have done to help her son. Instead she would have looked like she had Munchhausen Syndrome by proxy.

The movie did make me wonder if this is how parents of school shooters are treated.

But this was just a movie so it was meant to be a thriller so I don’t think anyone is going to take it seriously and parents still got blamed about Kevin go figure. He showed no signs that he was going to kill anyone (except the fact he got a bunch of bike locks and took them out of the box for his parents to see but how would anyone know what he was going to actually do with them?) nor was he violent except the fact he causes his sister to lose her eye by pouring some chemical in it. He might have been if his parents tried to be actual parents to him so that part is also irrelevant. According to peoples opinions online, the more Eva tried to bond with her son and kept on trying to show him love, the worse he got. So the mom was just being a “normal” parent and did what she was supposed to do so I can’t blame her there. How was she supposed to know it would make him worse?  But then at the end she finally figured out she had to be distance to her son and not bond or show love and that got through to him. But sadly she was too late.


Wikipedia gets it and some other webpages

Sunday, August 28th, 2016

When you google parental abuse, child abuse results pop up and other abuse results. But this page is one of the few results that pop up I am looking for.

The other two pages talk about teens and young adults being abusive to their parents as if small children can’t abuse. I guess it’s because when a small child does abuse, you usually don’t fear your life or feel afraid of them and if they are grabbing knives and scissors, you lock them away and the matches too and anything that lights with fire. But I have heard of stories about parents fearing their child. Beth Thomas is an example of being a dangerous child when she was little. They even had to lock her in her room to protect her brother from her because she liked hurting them and she killed animals. Her parents had to renounce their adoption because it was the only way she could get help and to protect her brother. Then there is another story about Tom and Janice Colella who adopted a seven year old boy and still people turn a blind eye to kids being abusive and there still isn’t anything that protects parents from abuse from their children.

There are women shelters, there are services for elder abuse and abuse on the disabled, and even social services for child abuse but none for parental abuse. There are no laws about it. This seems to be a loophole in our law system about abuse. But of course you can charge your children with assault when they are teenagers but call the police on a child under 13 hitting you, the police will just laugh at you or get upset for wasting their time like what happened to Kelli Stapleton when she called the police on her daughter who was then 11 and by then she was calm and not doing her rages by the time they came. Despite her having a blog, still not much happened except she was getting money to help her daughter but still nothing because did they get another person to stay with them 24/7 to keep Issy off Kelli when she does her attacks? I assume they probably didn’t want to pay all that money for someone to be a bodyguard in the home who is bigger than Issy and can stop her when she does her attacks.

My husband thinks she should have been institutionalized because of her aggression and her inability to control it.  At least he understands parental abuse and knows how dangerous a kid can be but he reassures me it’s very rare for a kid to do abuse and those stories go on the media making it look common but those are just rare cases. Even Dr. Phil said Issy is the 10% of autism who are violent.

Parents may be going on the show about their abusive children and some may be showing videos online about it and photos of their abuse and the damage they do to the home, still nothing. That is why I am writing a fictional story about it and Steven tells my character in my story that putting it online doesn’t work so don’t do it. People don’t want to believe a kid can be abusive and violent so they will look for “proof” the kid is being abused and twist things around so if you are a parent and if your kid is harassing and bullying you and you finally get provoked by them, people will see that as the “proof.” I don’t expect my story to change anything because it’s fiction and not real life. The Bad Seed was fiction and so was The Good Son, none of the two baddies were real.

But yet Child of Rage didn’t change anything even though it aired in 1990 except Beth was actually abused when she was a toddler so she had RAD as a result of it and didn’t learn to bond or learn to have a conscious or learn empathy. Lauren Bennett of Lucky Otter’s Haven believes if they waited a little longer, she would have been beyond help because her brain would have been too far developed so at 6 and a half, she still had room to learn with the help she was given. She has been the only person I had ever heard about someone recovering from RAD. But at least her adoptive parents were given help and were taken seriously. They even made a documentary about it. So in my story Steven tells my character the only way to spread parental abuse awareness is to only show it to your kid’s doctor, show it to social workers, show it to your own therapist but do not put it on the internet because it doesn’t work.

I do wonder if Issy has a less chance in employment now because she is all over the web now about her aggression when you google her name. Plus there is a whole blog about her by her mother which is now dead. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to work with someone who tends to get violent when they get upset or mad but what if they had over came that? It will be on the internet. Despite there being a video about Beth Thomas, she still got her nursing job and she still got into college and now the video is online and she still seems to still be doing good with her life so the video didn’t ruin her. But I have seen some commenters saying she is in the closet sociopath or saying she is still probably one. Okay some people will still judge her and might not hire her because of her history if she goes for a different job.

More articles on parental abuse. The comments are interesting in the Empowering Parents article.

Signs of Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You

When Raising Teens Hurts: Parent Abuse by Dr. John Townsend




Rehoming your adopted child

Thursday, March 24th, 2016

I found another blog I found through Harsh Reality (AKA Opinionated Man). This one stuck out to me.

While I hate domestic violence and abuse, I do still feel sorry for kids sometimes who are because of their background.I have noticed an overlap between RAD, ODD, Conduct disorder, and psychopathy. Only thing that has offended me in it was when she brings up autism when she talks about violence and I argue that just because a kid is on the spectrum does not make it okay for them to hit. It’s not okay for anyone to hit, it’s not even okay for toddlers to hit even if they don’t know what they are doing, an excuse parents make for their autism spectrum kids. I hope those parents are the minority and many of them actually don’t accept it and excuse it.

There have been families mentioned in the media about getting rid of their violent children whom are adopted. One mom in Arkansas or Nebraska (I don’t remember which state) left her 15 year old at the hospital because they had that loophole in their law that was meat to protect newborns but I don’t think she was adopted, I believe she had ODD or Conduct disorder and for years the state had failed to give her help so the mom used that law to help her (she appeared on the Dr. Phil show about it), there was another one about a mom sending her kid back to Russia who had RAD but the media left out facts about the parents had spent over $20,000 getting the kid help, the kid has threatened to hurt his parents and burn down their home, the parents had to lock everything away including knives that can be used as weapons, and then in Ohio there was a couple who left their nine year old at social services and he had also been adopted at three months and the kid had been in and out of hospitals and he didn’t wish to seek help and the parents feared their other kids safety.

So now to use some quotes from the blog.

Many don’t realize that in some states you can’t get help for your child unless you relinquish your parental rights

I knew this, this is what happened with Beth Thomas. Her parents had to give up their parental rights to her because that was the only way they could get her help and to protect her brother from her. Fortunately she recovered from RAD and is now a fine adult who works as a registered nurse in Flagstaff, AZ.

I also read another story in a magazine about a little girl named Elle. She was also very violent and the parents got her help for years until they had to give up their parental rights when they did finally found her the right help. The family grieved for their loss. It was like having a child passing away.

don’t want to do that and face abandonment charges?

But that Ohio couple did so this question makes no sense.

Well here’s the other option that parents are told…… if your child hurts one of your other children then the state can remove all of your children for failure to protect

I didn’t know this, I have only heard about one kid being removed from home due to aggression but not the other kids but I guess because there hadn’t been any accidents. But I say it’s a catch 22 because if you abandon your child, you face charges but if your kid hurts another kid in your home, you face child abuse charges. I was also told on Facebook that sending your kid to a hospital every time they are violent can result in you getting arrested for trespassing and child abandonment because they think you are being lazy and someone else told me sending your kid to a hospital is easier said than done. They would have to admit them and the insurance would have to pay for it so families can’t always help abusing their children by denying them a safe environment which is why I say laws need to change first.

I wish there were better laws to protect families from these kids but I wish there was a better system to help these children, especially RAD. From what I have read, it seems like therapy makes the RAD kids worse because many doctors don’t understand it and there is very little help for that disorder. Plus therapy for it seems expensive or otherwise all RAD families would be sending their kids to a RAD ranch in Montana and elsewhere that have ranches for them. I am betting insurance probably doesn’t cover it because it’s so darn expensive or otherwise parents would be sending them there unless they are martyrs or don’t know about the place. It’s very sad and frustrating that very little is known about RAD and that there is not much awareness.

And I am an asshole ignorant and an idiot for wanting families and other kids to be safe from violence. Ha.
People say how we must have passion for these children but no one says that about child abusers and criminals who commit crimes due to trauma because if you do the crime, hurt an innocent child, you’re a monster and deserve no sympathy. So when I made this comparison on fetlife about violent kids when someone posted a link to a blog post called “I am Adam Lanza’s mother,” I get a PM from someone who isn’t from the group saying ‘How the fuck is this logical” quoting that part of my post. Because I see the double standard right and see no difference between the two which is why I say they all need help. People have no problem saying to lock away the mentally ill or something when they abuse a child or kill them or commit a violent crime but yet when a kid does it, oh no you are an asshole, a troll for saying such a thing about them. Have some passion and sympathy for these children. But if they are an adult, fuck your illness and trauma and the bull shit you had in your life, that is no excuse for the murder you did/the abuse you did on your child/or any other violent crime you committed, I hope you go to prison for the rest of your life.

But hey when two ten year old boys, Robert and Jon, took James Bulger from a shopping center and tortured him and left his body on the train tracks for it to get ran over, tons of people were outraged and had no passion and wanted them locked away for life and were mad they were set free at 18 and given different identities.

There was another case in 1968, Mary Bell, who killed two little boys and she was hospitalized and let out at 23 with a different identity and yes she has been given hate for it too. She also came from an abusive background. Okay I won’t lie, I have seen people bash kids for crimes they commit or when they are violent which is why their identities get protected, especially on the Dr. Phil show and I have seen hateful comments about Beth Thomas on youtube despite that she is a different person from when she was a kid but yet parents get judged for sending their child back to their home country or leaving them at a hospital or leaving them at social services or giving them away to anyone. Oh the double standard.

This is the reason why I do not want to adopt and why I decided against it in my early twenties. The horror stories and I don’t want to be attacked by my child and fear for my life and I feel I will kill the kid in self defense and then try and cover it and I am the bad guy because people are too stupid ignorant to open their eyes to these kids. This is another reason why I am not a foster parent. I don’t think I could handle a violent child or a traumatized child. If having a traumatized dog was too much for me at 14 (my parents brought that dog home, not me so I had no say in it), I can’t imagine handing it in a child.

I will say some people are tougher than me to live this way when they choose these kids.

If you have a violent child, no self defense allowed

Sunday, January 10th, 2016

A couple in their 50’s kept their 12 year old locked up in a playhouse with zip ties and fish hooks so she couldn’t kick down the playhouse. Their reason, she had behavior issues and it was to protect her siblings and her from herself due to violent outbursts. I wondered if she was that dangerous that they had to keep her locked up like she is a animal, why didn’t they seek help or did they seek help? Was she in any therapy? Also she was adopted according to DailyMail.  Why is every adopted child seems to be violent? I know of RAD is common in foster and adopted kids.

I was looking through the search engine at the articles about this looking for answers and they all kept saying the same thing and keeping it vague. All it kept saying was behavior issues, to protect her siblings and herself and that the siblings confirmed that their parents did keep her tied up. But they obviously kept her tied up for too long because she resorted to using herself as the toilet so that indicates they kept her out there for hours and she was excluded.

Well there is Dr. Phil, I wonder if they wrote to him for help. If I had to have a kid that was so dangerous that I was afraid of my child and felt I was in danger and my other kid too I would threaten child abuse or maybe murder to CPS so they could take that kid away from me but that would mean they would remove my other kid too so I can see why parents wouldn’t use this tactic to get help. But the thing is every time I hear about child abuse and that they were protecting the other kids or themselves from the child, that indicates the kid is violent and dangerous. This makes me have less sympathy for the kid because I do not like abuse and violence and I believe in self defense. What would you do if a disturbed child broke into your home and tired to attack you? I bet your first instinct is to run and get out of the house and run to call the police but what if it was your own child? What would you do? How would you protect yourself? How would you defend yourself? The first reaction about when a kid is tied up is to protect them and jump on the parents about it because it’s natural to see a kid as innocent and that they can’t do any harm to the parents or to other children. It’s natural to react about the abuse on the child than looking at the possibility the kid was dangerous because of the keywords, violent outbursts and protecting her siblings, and people gloss over this. But I have said before that not everyone should adopt kids because of abuse. It seems more common for adopted kids to be violent. That is why I will never adopt even if I could afford it. I don’t want a Chuckie in my home. I don’t want to be beaten or threatened or chased with knives. There is no law against parental abuse. Kids can legally do these things and it will be blamed on the parent. But if it was in reverse, the kid would not be in trouble for their abuse on their parent because the kid had been a victim of child abuse. But yet kids have gone to jail for murdering their abusers and I wonder what happens if a teen managed to tie up their abuser, would they get sympathy from the judge or would they face charges and go to jail? Though kids can be charged with assault when they are teenagers but lot of parents don’t want to do that because then that will affect their future and them from getting a job. Plus if the kid has mental/psychological issues or severe behavior issues, arresting them isn’t going to stop them from being abusive. But I wonder if they get locked up in juvie hall for assault.

Even Kelli Stapleton had called the police one time on her daughter according to her blog when Issy was about 11 only to have the abuse to be dismissed and trivialized by the officer because the kid was young. I don’t remember if Kelli had any marks on her from the abuse. So that just shows depending on the age of the child, calling the police is useless and I wonder what they do about severely autistic teenagers when they beat their parents and the police are called for domestic violence.

But there is still lot of information missing about these parents like if they tried to seek help for their daughter or did they not ever take her to any counseling and therapists for her behavior. Did they ever try to reach out for support from the state or from social services? And this was in Florida folks.


More abusive children

Sunday, January 3rd, 2016

This is why we have to often tell them no and not give them everything they want or else they turn into entitled brats and behaving like narcissists when they don’t get their way.

My son will call me a bad mommy whenever he doesn’t get his way and I just ignore it. I don’t give into the insults and this behavior is normal at this age when kids try to tell their parents how mean they are or how they hate them. My youngest brother used to just say he hates us and my middle brother didn’t really do that whenever things didn’t go his way. I don’t know what I did but my mom told me I would yell and scream and bite and scratch and she never gave in. My son will just act up and not listen and he will go “bad mommy” when he doesn’t get his way and I still don’t give into him. Do that in public, I don’t take him out again. He is stuck at home. I will even remind him this is why I don’t take him out whenever he starts acting up and I tell him I won’t take him out for a real long time if he doesn’t listen to me. I am not there to please my child or to make him happy or even there to be his friend, I am there to be his parent and do my job as one. If your kid never gets mad at you, you are not doing your job.