Archive for the ‘movies’ Tag

What’s real?

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

One of the things I struggle with is knowing what is real and what isn’t with my thoughts and perspectives. I will get a thought in my head and I will have no idea if it’s anxiety or not. Anything I do I have no idea if it’s anxiety based. Sometimes I realize it was just the anxiety when it blows over or when I am feeling better. My husband will sometimes reassure me everything is fine regarding money and he will remind me it’s just my anxiety that is making me think that way.

Just at work I was feeling bullied and harassed and Tuesday the co worker came back from his trip and he was all friendly with me and helpful and I realized I imagined the whole thing and that was just my anxiety making me worried. But my boss came in the break room and I asked what to do about the white sponges and he told me I use those for the sinks and I said it had cleanser on them and he goes “you use them for the sink” and I go “Wait, I thought we weren’t supposed to be using them for the sinks, only for the toilets” and bam I had found out the co worker was wrong what he told me and my boss told me I was doing it right the whole time and he told me I could use the orange or green chemical for the floors. The co worker had told me to only use green. So I ask my boss about the odor bottle and he told me to only use it for the urinal, you don’t spray anywhere else with it. I couldn’t believe the co worker gave me false info so good thing I asked my boss the following day about sponges. I don’t know if the co worker was trying to trick me or if he was confused. The boss thought he was just confused. I also told him about the restrooms and how customers use them after I clean them because they work out and then use the restrooms and I have been getting accused of not cleaning them because of lack of common sense about customers using the restrooms. Luckily the boss had the common sense to know that and understand. Then when I was in the basement dust mopping, I over heard the co worker on the freight elevator telling our other co workers “Don’t tell Beth things” and he laughs and then starts talking and I couldn’t make out the rest he said. I had no idea if he was joking or making fun of me. I figured he was talking about telling me the wrong stuff because they will get caught. Maybe that will fix the co worker issue.

Another thing I have gotten at work is I will be doing my tasks and then all of a sudden I start getting complaints when I hadn’t before and they are almost daily. Then the boss moves me to another floor or gives me different tasks to do. I have wondered if I was being bullied by customers. I know it can’t be the boss or else I wouldn’t have been moved to another floor or being given different tasks. I would have been written up and then fired if that were the case so it had to be the customers. But then again I have no idea if this is just my anxiety or if this is real. Why else would I start getting complaints when I hadn’t before? That part is real but what I think is going on I am not sure about.

 

 

Let’s Talk About Kevin (my thoughts)

Monday, September 12th, 2016

This post contains spoilers:

 

I have heard about this movie and it’s used as a meme online by saying “Kevin.”

I finally watched it on Netflix and the Kevin was obviously disturbed from the very beginning from birth. People have bashed on the mother saying she is a terrible parent and that she is the cause of how her son turned out. I disagree because she did try to bond with him, she did what all mothers would do. She held him, trying bouncing him, playing ball with him, teaching him words to talk, reading to him, teaching him to count. He was obviously intelligent because he knew lot of stuff already like he could count to 50.

Kevin took a dislike to his mother right away because he wouldn’t act “normal” to her. He bonded with his father and doctors said he was normal when Eva (the mother) showed concerned and thought he might have autism but Kevin responded to his doctor and didn’t ignore him like he did for Eva despite not saying a word in the office.

Kevin also refused to toilet train to egg his mother on as I read in one of the comments on IMDB and after pooping his diaper twice, Eva snaps and tossed him on the ground breaking his arm. Kevin surprisingly covers for her by making up a convincing story that sounds true . That part confused me there. But maybe he did it so he could torture her more because if he had told the truth in the hospital, they would have called CPS, Eva would have been arrested and he wouldn’t see his mom again so who would he go after next? His dad? But I am thinking of adult logic here instead of kid logic. Would any kid that young be aware what would happen if a parent hurts their child?

Kevin always ignored his mother except for when he was sick and then he pushed his father away and the kid liked to terrorize the mother and verbally abuse her and not treat her with respect.

Then finally he gets to his teens they and they are bonding a little bit but there is still no emotional connection between them and no conversations between them, only a few sentences and words and that’s it.

People say how the mother ignored the problems, she did try to get her kid help I but got shot down for it by her son’s doctor and husband. But when the dad did finally know, why didn’t they take him to a doctor is beyond me. But even if they did, he still would have manipulated the psychiatrist and he would have turned out to be “normal.”

The mother also seems emotionally distance herself and seemed to not also be able to bond with anyone but could with her daughter but you could tell she still wasn’t all there.

Why did Kevin pick his mother to be his true self around is beyond me.  He also did his “school shooting” but used bow and arrows to kill his dad and little sister and then kill students at his school locking everyone using the same method. Then he turned himself in.

He picked his mother to be alive by not killing her so she would suffer more. The mother also punishes herself by taking abuse from her neighbors and still sees her son in prison and makes a room for him for when he gets out.

I found this movie to be disturbing because Eva loses her whole family so I can understand why she would still have Kevin in her life because he is all she has left for her family and the fact how manipulative Kevin is and how charming he is and how he treated his mother. People harp on about how she did nothing about it but IMO that is irrelevant because he would have just manipulated the doctors and there wouldn’t have been anything the mother could have done to help her son. Instead she would have looked like she had Munchhausen Syndrome by proxy.

The movie did make me wonder if this is how parents of school shooters are treated.

But this was just a movie so it was meant to be a thriller so I don’t think anyone is going to take it seriously and parents still got blamed about Kevin go figure. He showed no signs that he was going to kill anyone (except the fact he got a bunch of bike locks and took them out of the box for his parents to see but how would anyone know what he was going to actually do with them?) nor was he violent except the fact he causes his sister to lose her eye by pouring some chemical in it. He might have been if his parents tried to be actual parents to him so that part is also irrelevant. According to peoples opinions online, the more Eva tried to bond with her son and kept on trying to show him love, the worse he got. So the mom was just being a “normal” parent and did what she was supposed to do so I can’t blame her there. How was she supposed to know it would make him worse?  But then at the end she finally figured out she had to be distance to her son and not bond or show love and that got through to him. But sadly she was too late.

 

A creepy coincidence

Friday, August 14th, 2015

I always love a coincidence but this video I found creepy because it was like it predicted the future with 9/11 but I know it was a coincidence unless terrorists purposely picked that day to do it because of the movie and they purposely picked the Twin Towers because of the movie.

But I never noticed these details about 9/11 and the movie. Someone has been too obsessed with 9/11 and the movie so they got too focused on the details.

I wonder if the movie did it on purpose about John F Kennedy though because the movie was made 22 years after the assassination. Well it wasn’t quite 22 years when the movie released.

But the person who posted the video said it was a mockery, no warning. I assume he means he wasn’t serious and this was meant for humor and fun.

Lilja 4-Ever

Tuesday, August 11th, 2015

I first watched this in December after hearing about it from an online friend. I had heard of it before but had forgotten about it because it’s a foreign movie. I saw it as a sad and depressing movie it’s not something I would want to watch again because there is no joy in it. It’s one of those movies where the baddies win and the goodies lose.

The trailer is misleading because it does not really show what the movie is really about and what happens in it. What happens in it is Lilja lives in a poor country so everything looks like Life After People. Her mom’s boyfriend decides to move to the USA and then they both decide Lilja stays behind and she will come later. But it didn’t turn out that way. Instead her mom is never heard from again, her aunt kicks her out of her own home and moves her into a rundown apartment and everything is filthy and filled with garbage and trash. Her aunt neglects her and doesn’t give a shit about her and Lilja is soon left without food and water and electricity so she has to prostitute.

As the saying goes, “you don’t know who your real friends are until you are in a bad situation.” Well this is what happened, all her friends turn on her and don’t help her except for this one boy named Volodya sticks around and he can’t really help her but he stays and doesn’t judge her. Then she meets a guy named Andrei and he becomes her boyfriend. He has to go back to Sweden where he lives and invites her to come with and offers her a job and a nice apartment. Her friend tells her he is lying to her and tricking her but she goes anyway and instead it turns out that he was a pimp and his boss was someone who needs human sex slaves and she gets a job alright and an apartment. She becomes part of human trafficking and is kept in her own apartment like it’s her cell. This happens way at the end so the whole movie isn’t about human trafficking. This story was loosely based on Danguole Rasalaite.

Now I have read about this movie online hearing different perspectives and it is frightening that a mother would abandon her child like that and she acted all loving and like she cared and she did a good job with her manipulation. But other speculations I have heard and from my own online friend that the mother was also a victim of sex slavery and her boyfriend was actually a pimp and he had to get her daughter out of the picture so he talked her into leaving her behind and have her come later. Once the mom arrived into a hotel room with her “boyfriend” he became her pimp and she became a sex slave and had no way of getting money to her daughter or calling her or anything. But how does this explain the letter Lilja got from social services with a letter from her mother saying she was renouncing her parenting and that she was never wanted? My friend thought the sex slave talked her into that saying it was better. I am thinking the sex slave did that pretending he was the mother. But it is a good speculation because who can imagine a mother abandoning her child? How can a mom be that selfish and evil? But if she is a victim of human trafficking, then she isn’t evil and bad. But I did wonder in the movie if her mother planned things to be that way for her daughter. Was her aunt supposed to take care of her or kick her out and move her into a crappy apartment? Did her mom really want things to be that bad for her? TBH I wouldn’t leave my child in the responsibility of someone like Aunt Anna. But did her mom know her aunt was going to neglect her? Did Anna lie to her about how she will look after her daughter while she is in the USA until Lilja comes over?

I can understand why they made the ending bad. Goodies are always winning so for a change, the baddies win instead and there is no happy ending and I think they did it to make the story more realistic and to show the issues of human trafficking. Danguole didn’t survive, she committed suicide so they had Lilja do the same and they both jumped off a bridge. Of course in real life people can get out of human trafficking and I even bought a book on it on my Nook Color but haven’t read it yet.