Archive for the ‘internet’ Tag

No you don’t have OCD just because you like your house clean

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

So when the sales guy was at my house showing me the Kirby doing a demonstration, he told me he was OCD. I asked him if he had that diagnoses and he said he has never gotten one before. I then didn’t believe he had it because lot of people think they have it just because they like things a certain way or in order or because they are stuck on a topic and spend hours with it researching it and reading about it and can’t stop.

I wanted to tell him that OCD is not really having a clean house and needing it all clean and asking him if he actually likes needing to have a clean house. from my understanding people with OCD do not like wanting to have a clean house but they can’t stop it because of bad thoughts and thinking something bad will happen. I can’t even relate to that and that doesn’t even describe me. But yet if someone likes their house to be very clean, everyone thinks that person is OCD. No they are not unless there is anxiety behind it and they get distressed about the need to want their house to be neat and there has to be fear behind it. It’s too bad how doctors and everyone will be quick to say someone has OCD without looking behind the symptoms first to see if it’s truly OCD. Now I wonder if I had been misdiagnosed with it because no one had ever talked to me about why I wanted the house clean. I just don’t like messes. No I am not scared of them, I just don’t like messes. No I am not scared of dirt or germs. No I am not afraid of our house getting roamed with termites or having rodents come in or thinking our house will fall down if it’s not clean. No I do not get anxiety as I am cleaning.

I often hear online how people will say they are OCD about their house or OCD about something or say how it makes their OCD crazy when something isn’t even. People with real OCD get annoyed with that stuff. Occasionally I will see someone come to the OCD forum on Reddit and ask about their “compulsion” and they are just talking about being fixated on a topic and how they can’t stop researching it and learning everything about it and thinking about it and I think “that’s isn’t OCD, that is a symptoms of autism.” But my mom would call it OCD because she thinks they’re both the same but have different labels. But at least one person will point out to them to the Asperger’s forum on Reddit and tell the OP they are leaning towards autism about their obsession.

But that was my first time ever seeing someone saying they are OCD because they are also clean. Even Jerry did the same thing but it was about organization and because I wasn’t organized enough for him, I wasn’t OCD so therefore the doctors were wrong. Maybe they were. So was my ex because OCD isn’t liking things organized and people with OCD would get anxiety from wanting things organized and not get pleasure out of it or feel calm about it and there would be worry behind it and anxiety behind it and it would drive them crazy needing things to be organized and they can’t stop even though they want to. It certainly didn’t drive him crazy wanting things in order and he liked it. There was no fear behind it or anxiety and no “Oh no it’s the end of the world because my soup can is in the wrong spot, oh no, I’m dead. Now I have to make sure nothing bad will happen after it’s been in the wrong spot because my girlfriend didn’t know how to put it back when she was snooping.” Now that’s OCD and lot of OCDers don’t have that compulsion and that is why it’s a stereotype because most people think of organization and liking things even and in order and being neat when they hear the word OCD and they may also picture excessive hand washing and excessive checking things and fear of germs. Monk was a stereotype of it because he feared dirt so he always had to wipe his hands after shaking hands. Then there was As Good As It Gets and Jack Nicholson in it couldn’t step on any cracks and he feared germs so he wore gloves and couldn’t use the same bar of soap. But other things he did did seem to lean towards autism like the need to sit in a certain spot in a restaurant and being upset about his usual waitress not being there. Some people believe he was misdiagnosed as having OCD so they view him as an aspie.

I remember another funny story. I was seeing my school counselor one time when I was 15 and it was during school. I had my Game Boy Color with me and he said I was doing OCD and I asked him why and he said I keep on taking off the battery cover because I keep thinking it’s not on right and I want to be sure it’s on right and I keep thinking it’s not so I have to keep checking. I told him that was not why I was doing it and I know it’s on right and I am just taking it off because I am and putting it back on. So he gets up and takes the system out of my hand and sits back down and I start to play with my fingers and he goes “Oh I see, I took this away and now you are twisting your fingers.” He then said he took it away so he could see what I do and he saw I will just go to my fingers. It was not about the battery cover and I am just someone who will play with things in her hand and if I have nothing, I play with my fingers.

So people just make assumptions when they see a behavior and assume it’s OCD. Thoughts get stuck in your head, oh that must be OCD. You keep getting distracted by thoughts, oh that’s OCD. My question to those accusations would be “is there any anxiety behind it?” “Are they bad thoughts or happy thoughts?” “Do they give the person distress?” If not, it’s not OCD. Someone even asked on Wrongplanet about listening to the same song over and over OCD and I said it was not if it’s not giving them distress. If they are doing it because they enjoy it, it’s not OCD. I have even seen people say online about songs being stuck in your head OCD. Unless it gives them distress, then it is.

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I’m so crazy

Friday, February 3rd, 2017

(This post contains sarcasm)

I hate it when people normalize what I went through as normal. I have been taken advantage of, used, spat at, gotten into trouble by other kids, trick into eating foods that have been farted on or sat on or been in other kids mouths, made fun of, verbally abused by being told I am retarded or stupid, made fun of for how I talked, had pine cones thrown at me, and this happened to me all the time and I was targeted for this abuse.

I decided today that anyone who tries to tell me this is all normal I will cut them out of my life for making me feel I am crazy and mental and that I can’t handle normal things so I exaggerate and make things look bad than it really is.

I guess I am so crazy no wonder I am on SSDI because I am so crazy.

I am so upset about that comment I got online why was I so stupid to read past “Please don’t take offense” because I did get offended after all and upset and now I am feeling like I am insane and crazy and I exaggerated my problems and my past and I must not have looked hard enough to see everyone else get it all the time. Then in 6th grade I was falling apart I had to be taken out of school and couldn’t go for a while because I was so ill and I was even seeing a psychiatrist but it was for a diagnoses. But I don’t think I was there because I was being picked on, I was there to get a diagnoses for school because all the other diagnoses I have had were not working.

My husband just told me none of this was normal and he never had any of that stuff happen to him and that person was crazy for thinking it’s normal. I asked him he has never been taken advantage of or had been given food that was in their mouth or been sat on and he told me No and that was bullying and not normal.

For years I was weary of taking a piece of candy from anyone if I didn’t see them taking it out and giving it to me because I was so worried they had done something to it and will start laughing after I put it in my mouth. I also was afraid I was going to be taken advantage of anyone in school so it made me be cautious and I was also cautious of any stories I was told about because I wasn’t sure if they were made up. And this is normal? Wow I am crazy if this is how it affected me and no wonder I am on SSDI. I really do have mental issues if I can’t handle normal life and normal things do mental affect on me or psychological affect. I wonder if there is a condition for this sort of thing I have?

Am I dealing with an idiot?

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

So I am in another group about being raised by narcissists and I have realized my mom has some of the tenancies and so did her parents and her oldest sister has them too. Wow, there was even narcissism in my family and my mom had FLEAS. But I turned out fine.

So someone made a thread on there talking about when she was six and how her mother would take her shopping and just leave her in the department store. She would wait for a real long time and being this mature six year old, she would go to a store employee and report her mother missing so they would call her over the intercom and it would turn out her mother wasn’t in the store and she was elsewhere so she would come back and get her. This happened three times and after the third time, this time they didn’t give her back to her so they took the mother to the back and never again did her mother leave her in the store again. She swore her mother was trying to abandon her and was trying to have her get kidnapped.

I wrote how you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than having your kid getting taken by a random stranger so if some parent thinks they can just do that, a random stranger is more likely going to try and help the child find their parents and report them to a employee or call the police to try and find the parents and then the parents would be arrested for child abandonment. Someone responds asking me if this is a chance a normal parent would take and never mind the kidnapping, an unsupervised 6 year old can get into mischief and this was a department store. I told that person my point was it’s very very difficult to have your kid get taken by a random stranger and you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than intentionally losing your child to a random stranger. That person responds back just today and asks So, leaving your child unattended in a department store is responsible parenting because the chances are very small that the child will be kidnapped/murdered? I told her I never said that, I said it’s very very difficult to have your child get kidnapped by a random stranger and you have a higher chance of winning the lottery so if the OP’s parent thought she could just lose her and have her get kidnapped, she was very mistaken.

I always hate these kind of conversations and if she responds again twisting my words, I am done with her. I do not deal with idiots and she could just be trolling me. I will update this post if she replies again with a idiotic response.

How I feel about those autism hate sites

Thursday, December 29th, 2016

Often times we will see articles about how bad borderlines are and what the red flags are and what makes them toxic people. I see the same written about NPD and psychoapaths and yes those are mental illnesses to rather people want to believe it or not.

I see the same with Asperger’s. I will see hate sites out there warning other people about being in a relationship with them and how harmful they are and how abusive they are.

Now what do I think of these sites, I believe these were created by women who were deeply hurt by their ex who happened to have it or believed they did. I see the same about borderlines too and NPDs and psychopaths and personality disorders. Some do armchair diagnose. I armchair diagnosed mine with covert narcissism but it turned out she was BPD  if she was telling the truth but I still feel she acted very narcissist and a covert one. Talk about overlap and some victims do believe covert narcissism and BPD are the same.

People will express their hurt differently. Some will just suffer in silent and only talk about things their ex did while some others will be hateful about their ex and make fun of them and their problems and make hate posts about them and hate pages on them while some do the extreme and make hates pages on their disorder telling everyone how bad people are with it and warning everyone to stay away from them. There is even a hate group on autism on the Delphi forums. It’s mostly women in it and not all of them are bad and hateful but those ones always stand out and they will make fun of their ex’s and hate on autism. Even the group owner is very hostile towards anyone who is on the spectrum ad will boot and silence anyone if she thinks you’re on it and she will even ban people if she thinks they’re aspies. She has gotten very paranoid and thinks a user from Wrongplanet is trolling there and making different accounts posing as an NT so she bans that user. I remember the time another NT was banned from that group because she was posting on Wrongplanet so the owner assumed she was an ASD but she took it well.

How did I handle my hurt on my ex’s. Well with Jayden I made fun of him behind his back so I even wrote a story about him making fun of my situation and in the story the girlfriend would get tired of him being lazy and not wanting to work so she decides to make him wear diapers so she gives him a choice, either he moves out or wear diapers and he complains how “retarded” that all is but because he doesn’t want to move back home, he goes with diapers. My husband would tease me about him from time to time saying “No wonder you wanted to put him in diapers, he was an adult baby.” When I watched an episode of South Park where the boys got addicted to a computer game and there was someone in the game who was cheating so the boys had to kill a bunch of animals to gain experience points to level up to kill off the character so he would stop killing other characters who didn’t have high experience points because he had so many. The user was fat and messy and lazy so I said to my mother they had made a whole show on Jayden and my mom laughed and said my little brother said that exact same thing and said this is something I should watch because it’s about my ex.

Then there was Jerry. I also talked about her for a while until my parents said they were sick of hearing about her and she was out of my life now so move the fuck on so I would talk to my husband about it and he listened and supported me. I also went on a posting rampage on Wrongplanet about her talking about the stuff she has said t me about me and other things and about how I was treated. I knew she lurked there but I just didn’t care. I wanted her to see my pain and suffering and after finding out about narcissism, I regretted what I did because it meant she probably enjoyed the pain she gave me and had  a good laugh at my suffering because I gave her the attention she wanted.

While I did those things, some will go out of their way and create websites or hate groups on a condition while some will make a blog about their ex and post their real name and I hear someone did actually do that on here and then within a week, her blog was gone and hadn’t been back up since. I did see someone who did that (I wonder if that was the same person) and her intent was to destroy him and to warn any other women who are dating him and when they Google his name they will find her blog and find other news articles about him the bad stuff he has done and the man will suffer forever and be ruined.

Then if course I have heard about women wanting to get revenge on their ex’s after being hurt by them. Reason why I am saying women is because the stories are mostly by them than by guys.

Every hurt person handles it differently.

 

 

Why I blog

Saturday, October 29th, 2016

Someone reposted a blog entry on their blog and I only read parts of it but the blogger wrote what that blog post was about. It is here.

Not very many people read this blog, in fact very few do less than 10 on average a day. But my other blog is more popular because I get around 250-300 visitors a day on average. But the reason why I blog here is because I like to write out my thoughts and feelings. I do not have anywhere else to talk about it unless I want to keep talking about my same thoughts over and over flooding forums and coming off as an attention seeker and whiner. If you are just doing a blog to get fame and to be popular and to get lot of comments and readers, you are setting yourself up for big disappointment.

“I don’t do drama.”

Monday, October 10th, 2016

Often times I have seen people say on the internet that anyone who says this actually are the ones who do drama. To me this never made sense. It never made sense because people who don’t do drama would try to avoid it and walk away once it starts. I used to get into drama all the time online because I cared too much what people thought, I was always defending myself from false accusations and insults, but all it was doing was it was getting me into trouble and making me more if a target on forums and then it was upsetting me too much it would distract me at work because it would be too upsetting and stressful. So now I try to avoid it. I learned to not care too much what people think. I don’t argue anymore with stupid or talk to a brick wall or be a broken record.

I went on a forum and asked about where this logic came from about people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. At first I didn’t get good responses and people weren’t seeming to take my question seriously so I replied in the thread saying it was serious and I really want to know why people think people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. Then finally I got two good responses. The reasons I got were:

It’s people getting angry, feeling hurt, being challenged or attacked. Those things happen sometimes though, even among good people. I’ve yet to meet a married couple that doesn’t have some drama in their lives. People who say that they don’t like drama are saying that they don’t like it when people get upset, and that usually means either 1) they try to ignore it or 2) they get upset themselves. Those are, unfortunately, the two worst responses to somebody else getting upset because they escalate the situation rather than resolve it. It’s usually better to deal with drama by trying to defuse the situation. There are lots of ways to do that: calm in the face of anger works sometimes, humor is often great, getting a third party to come in and mediate can help a lot, or sometimes just being the bigger person and being willing to admit to mistakes.

So, TLDR, a person saying they don’t like drama is strongly correlated with that person having poor skills for dealing with drama when it occurs and therefore making it worse.

 

I’m one of the rare people who hates drama and for the most part, actually avoids getting involved in it. I imagine that people who hate drama, yet keep causing drama, are people who are addicted to outrage in some way. They tend to live in a bubble, and when they say they hate drama, they hate arguing because they want everyone to agree with them because they’re always right. When they exit their safe space and encounter other people, they start arguing with other people who also live in a bubble, and once two people outside their safe spaces and addicted to outrage collide, drama ensues. This should explain where a lot of outrage and drama comes from.

 

These two responses make so much sense about people who say they don’t like drama or don’t do it. They can’t handle to be challenged or attacked and drama is part of life and anyone has yet to meet someone who doesn’t ever have drama in their life.

So basically when someone says they don’t do drama, they are the ones who will just shut down and not discuss it whenever you disagree with them or have a different perspective so therefore they run away from the problem than trying to resolve it. They are more likely to keep things bottled up and not express themselves or speak up whenever something bothers them so instead of telling the person, they just hold it all in. Some people just don’t have good social skills when it comes to disagreements so therefore they turn it into a drama so instead of facing this issue, they run from it by trying to avoid it because of their lack of skills of dealing with it. I think people who have these issues tend to have problems such as anxiety. So they are not equipped to dealing with drama so they avoid it. So people who say they don’t do drama means all these three things so I wouldn’t put it it your dating profile or else people will think of these following things:

You have poor coping skills with a disagreement so you make things worse

You want everyone to agree with you

You won’t tell people how you feel about things they have said to you or what they did to upset you so you keep it bottled up and then you explode because you never spoke up

You will not discuss things to resolve an issue or hear a different perspective

 

These are the types of people other people would want to avoid to so put “I don’t do drama” or “I don’t like drama” in your profile would make them steer clear of you because of the picture you gave them. Also people who put they don’t do drama indicates they have gotten into a lot of drama in the past so that might also give you a picture of them about how they always get into fights and they can’t handle it maturely so it does become a drama than a discussion. Also it could indicate silent treatments because you have gotten them so upset, now they don’t want to talk to you and they won’t even discuss it with you in a civil manner. Instead they would rather not talk about it and keep quiet about it.

Sadly I am someone who doesn’t handle false accusations well so I do try to avoid drama because I can’t handle someone thinking wrong of me and getting the wrong idea about me because it gives me anxiety and then I am obsessed about it and those thoughts are intrusive and they distract me and then I am very upset and I don’t like it. I always feel attacked or feel someone is trying to pick a fight with me when they have the wrong idea about me. Supposedly getting very upset about it means what they are saying is true but it boggles my mind why false accusations wouldn’t upset someone. So the reason why I try to avoid drama is because of the affect it does on me. But what I don’t understand is why this would mean they like drama. I watch Dr. Phil, I read books with drama in them, I also read internet drama but I do not like being in it. There is a difference. But I don’t understand how people who don’t like drama means they like being in it. That makes no sense because it always stresses me out and gets me very upset and then I can’t stop thinking about it and it affects me so why would I like being in it if this is what it does to me? So I avoid it to avoid this. Maybe some people don’t like people who avoid drama so they steer clear of “I don’t do drama” people for the reasons I listed above.

 

Feeling people want to silence me

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

Yes this is till on my mind and I still have stuff on my mind about it.

I feel people want to silence me so they are saying I am doing gossip and not confronting them about it.

They don’t want to hear I was harassed by other aspies and bullied by others with it and judged by others with it.

They don’t want to hear I was put down for my aspie traits and bullied for it.

They don’t want to hear I have gotten the same treatment and misunderstandings from other aspies I have gotten from NTs.

They don’t want to hear any examples of what has happened to me when I want to get my point across.

They want to limit my communication. My feelings. They want me to be silent and not have me talk about my personal experience and what I have gone through.

How do you talk without mentioning anyone subtly even if you are not thinking of a specific user online or not thinking of anyone on a forum you’re posting on? How do you talk without the stuff you have read online and learned from personal experience rather it was online or in real life or people you know who have had that experience?

How do I talk about my personal experience without insulting anyone?

How do you express your hurt and frustration and comfort without being seen as being sly or taking a dig at anyone?

How do other people communicate without doing all this?

Do I need to make very vague posts now?

Apparently it’s also offensive to try and figure out what part of me is the OCD, the anxiety, the Asperger’s and what is the burnout and what is the depression or anxiety and trying to figure this all out for myself so I know what I am experiencing and going through.

I’m a mess.

My style of communication is offensive to some people

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

some people.

Over the years I have always changed my way of communicating to avoid misunderstandings and to avoid upsetting and offending people and being taken the wrong way. I have learned to use I statements and talking about my experience and I even say where I got a information from like I will say “I read that” or say “I saw someone posting on Reddit about” or say “On babycenter” bla bla bla and say “I have actually seen people admit it” and I will sometimes post my opinion and then talk about myself so people know where it’s coming from.

But sometimes a person will still get offended or think I talked about them because they made a similar post earlier or because they think I have some hidden agenda in my post as if they think me talking about myself is my way of talking about other people. Do people actually do that? Or I make a post and a person might think I am taking a dig at someone or talking about other members on the same forum I am posting it on.

Just recently I had to go to a different forum and ask about why do people think when someone says they don’t do drama, they actually do cause drama. If I had asked it on the current forum, someone could think I was being sly again or taking a dig again because of something recent that had happened.

I am thinking of maybe start doing disclaimers in my posts like “I am not talking about anyone here, if you had posted something similar about this, this post was coincidental.” And start saying “I am not thinking of anyone specific when I wrote this.” And say “Society sees it as this” than saying “they are useless” and then write about why so that way people know I am saying it the way it is and how other people see it so they wouldn’t think I am thinking that. But then again I once wrote “it’s a fetish to society” and that person still took offense because she still took it as my word than that is what it’s classified as when she was talking about furries. But we were cool now so nothing between us anymore. We had a little misunderstanding. I hate those and sometimes they never get resolved, most of the time. No I am not taking a dig here or being sly, I am using this as an example for my personal experience. I have nothing against that member and that person doesn’t come to the forum anymore anyway.

So the bottom line is, no matter how I word things and how I say things and how specific I am, someone will still take offense. I shouldn’t tip toe and worry about it. Is this why some people have social anxiety?  Just as long as I am not insulting anyone or attacking them or being a Cruella De Vil, I’m fine. If someone wants to read into it and think I am talking about someone or them, that is their problem and not mine. Just as long as I am not getting any PMs from any moderators, I’m okay. I have nothing against anyone on that forum nor do I dislike anyone there and people I have disliked there in the past are no longer there and the ones I avoid. My reasons for disliking someone would be over a misunderstanding we had and it never got resolved, them being a jerk to me and because they were not nice people. I don’t think I should silence myself by not talking about my personal experience like “I have been made fun of for my aspie traits by other aspies” just because someone from that forum did that to me in the past on a different forum and is no longer active there and comes back occasionally or because someone on that forum could be guilty of doing it to another aspie in the past so they could think I was talking about them. This is not to take a dig at them or to be passive aggressive, I am only talking about my personal experience. I think I also have the right to say I have been misunderstood by other aspies so that shows they are also human and we are not going to always understand each other because we’re human. Again, I am talking about my personal experience and not taking a dig at anyone or being passive aggressive.

And seriously if a person upset me so much on there, I will go talk about it somewhere else or talk about it to my online friend. Or just write about it in my own personal journal on my computer where it’s totally safe and no one can read it but me and I usually wouldn’t read it again after typing it because I want no one to read it and that person too possibly because you never know what other forums they could be lurking on and you never know if that person might know people on the other forum and they could tip that person off and tell them about my post and they see it the wrong way. But I wouldn’t open another thread on the same forum talking about it and make a thread be about that person only. I think that would take balls to do it and it doesn’t tell anyone how much they have hurt you. Instead it’s seen as bullying and gossip and it won’t bring you “Sorry I misunderstood you, we’re cool now” and bam everything is over and we’re cool now and everyone is happy. It doesn’t work like that. I wish it did though but that isn’t how humans work. Instead they just get more defensive and it makes things worse so it’s best to keep it private.

I am taking a temporary break from the forum and I might come back next week and hopefully it has blown over. I find that most people actually forget about dramas that have happened and they don’t really care and they move on. So you can leave a forum for a few months and come back and everyone will act like it’s never happened and you can move on too and start going back to your normal posting. Just don’t visit the same threads again where the drama took place.

No this blog entry isn’t a sly dig and I am not being passive aggressive posting this. I don’t mention names and forum names for a reason because I have this blog linked on other websites and I try and keep things vague as possible to avoid any further drama. Only people from that forum will know I am talking about their forum and only that person will know I was thinking of them as I wrote this but I was also thinking of in general because I don’t know who else thinks this too and who also takes offense to what I say but says nothing about it.

But when I do return, maybe I won’t be doing those disclaimers, it depends on how I feel. Sometimes when you’re upset, you feel the need to do things but when you get over it, you don’t feel the need to do it anymore. You won’t know for sure until you’re feeling better and if you still feel the same way, then maybe it will be necessary.

While writing this I was thinking if I should even post this or just put it in my private document on my computer. I decided I should just post it here because this is my personal experience and this isn’t a rant about a user. Just about my personal experience of posting online and how I feel about it. I do hope people read about it and understand my communication better (I don’t know how else to communicate) so this is what it’s about. I had already posted about this on the forum.

Collection of my “offensive” comments part 1

Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

Of years I have been posting online, people have always gotten provoked or offended by things I have said. I realize no matter how I word things, someone will always take offense. I can use I statements, someone will still take offense. I can even talk about my personal experience, someone will still take offense. This is the internet and I am sure this happens to everyone and I have seen it happen to others. So I decided I am going to start collecting my own comments that have offended someone and put them here for entertainment for others to read. I even started thinking about starting a game thread online on a forum saying “I am offended” and it could be about anything silly like “I am offended that they cancelled Parenthood” or “I am offended someone said online they got a new puppy.”

Now on with my “offensive” comments. These ones here have been recent.

This seems to be a pattern I have noticed and I am not sure if it’s a coincidence.

In A Teenager’s Journey written by Richard Pelzer brother of Dave Pelzer, he wrote that his mom all of a sudden didn’t remember any abuse she did to him so he thought she was a schizophrenic.

In one of Sarah Burleton’s books, she wrote in there about her younger sister Emily telling her how their mother has no memory of doing any abuse to her and having a donkey on her land whom she killed and Emily was really worried because she wondered what if her mom really was sick.

I think I have heard of other stories about abusers forgetting what they did to their victims.

Now for the final part, I finally got a message from my ex also denying all the abuse she did to me. The only thing she admitted was the Dish network thing and apologized for “taking too long” to give it to me and sorry it put me through suck stress. I think she meant to say such stress.

Do they really get amnesia or are they just pretending to not remember? Why does this happen? Is it gaslighting they are doing to mess with our heads?

Someone in the thread made it personal saying to me and everyone else who responded to my thread that we all must be perfect and never hurt anyone. Then he starts talking about in his post how people make mistakes and how you can hurt people without being a psychopath and saying you can hurt people and have a conscience and also saying  you can hurt people and accept responsibility for your actions. Then he asks if people should just up and kill themselves and they make a mistake and if we think so little of people who have offended us and so on, just a lecture he gave us.

First of all I was only asking if abusers forget their abuse or not, this had nothing to do about being perfect or not every have made a mistake ever.

That person did tell me later in my other thread that it was nothing I did wrong and it was just him because he could identify himself in my post and said I was fine and didn’t mean to upset me.

Sometimes so called self diagnosers with AS don’t even know what it is. I didn’t know what it was when I was first diagnosed. For a while I just thought AS was a set of behaviors and flaws and being a target for being discriminated and targeted and being rejected because that is what I had read about it online long before they had blogs so I could to what I was reading about it even though not all of it fit. So I had always worked on my behaviors to get better so I often question my symptoms since I keep hearing how exhausting it is to keep it up while it’s been the opposite for me and how it’s a lifetime condition and supposedly you never get better from practice. So confusing. Maybe I was just socially awkward and just had a bad personality and it got me diagnosed because of my anxiety and low self esteem and because of my incompetent school staff and other mean kids who were intolerant of differences and because I was trying to be “normal” to better myself so I could be “normal” and be liked and have friends. After all some people just need to have this condition to feel better about themselves and feel it’s not their fault for their failures and how others treat them.

I talked about myself here though I have never self diagnosed. But back then before we had blogs, all we had were “webMD” articles so it was all vague what I was reading about Asperger’s.  I keep questioning my symptoms and wonder if my mom is right what she says to me about myself. I do often believe I was only diagnosed with this because of my anxiety (my mom said the same too), mean kids and their lack of tolerance for differences (my mom also says they were just mean kids), incompetent school staff, me trying to be normal because I didn’t accept myself and I had a narrow view on the word normal. Also Stanley Turecki did write in his book that some difficult children do get diagnosed. I don’t think all people who are different always get diagnosed because it depend son their life factors, what kind of people they are with, their personality, how they handle things, but however if they are having struggles like I did, a diagnoses will be given. A diagnoses means getting the help and support you need, the education, it also opens more doors in your life so you can be normal. I don’t know if an anxiety disorder diagnoses alone would get me to where I am now.

But someone took this comment personally and made it be about them and said I was very judgmental to those with AS and self identifiers and said what she has gathered most so called self diagnosers actually seem to do a lot of research before coming to their conclusion. Then said before she got her diagnoses, she had the necessity to self diagnose and trust her it was not something she wanted to be part of and then said she made very sure there might be something to it before she even believed herself that is may be a possibility. She did say more too but it bothered me that she took offense to my comment and didn’t take it literal. So I said.

Um I did say SOMETIMES and SOME self diagnosers. What happened to your literal thinking? Oh wait, aspies are people too so they are not going to fit every symptom in the book so hence not taking me literal.

Yes they are human so of course they won’t always be literal and they will also read into things too that are not there just like anyone else. I don’t think many people are a textbook case and that is pretty rare. Because I get so sick of people taking my comments personally and taking them out of context and making it all about them, I acted this way because other people have already done it to me in the past and sometimes I get so fed up, I don’t get nice about it.

The post thinks I question other peoples diagnoses which is what she said in her reply to this comment even though I said nothing about the diagnosed. She also said I was being sarcastic in my response. She said said I make the forum not a good place to be and I am one of the people she needed to avoid because of my “BS” I say angers and stresses her. Then said “But that is just an excuse right?” and then said I don’t care and I lack insight and compassion and and have no understanding.

Then of course that member goes on starting a thread about me and talks about it and other members she has a issue with. I of course don’t respond in it because I don’t tell she was upset and I didn’t want to trigger her more so I sat back so she could calm down and plus even apologizing for getting her upset wouldn’t do any good and telling her what my intention was because she would just call it gas lighting and say my apology was fake because I wasn’t sorry for what I wrote, I would only be sorry for she got upset. And I know how that would come off to her. Then she left the forum and did come back but left again.

But I figure this is how she feels about herself  in my post I wrote and my post just triggered her so she took it out on me. But so far she hasn’t apologized or admitted her bad at her end.

These kind of topics used to make me feel uncomfortable too about autism being over diagnosed, people pinning this label on themselves to give themselves a reason for why they were outcasts and easily picked on and targeted and for their failures and to have an excuse for their social failures and how others treat them and for being different and also reading how doctors will purposely misdiagnose autism in kids so they can get the services they need that is only available to those who have an autism diagnoses. But once I realized the issue was I was just insecured about myself, these comments quit bothering me.

Doesn’t have a job and isn’t looking for one

Their home or room is a big mess

This is based on my personal experience.

I posted this on Reddit to the question “What are red flags for a room mate?” and I could a couple responses that indicated offense taken but I didn’t let it bother me. They were “Sounds like depression” and “Hmm. Being that guy, I just worked my ass off for a few years so I could focus on studying instead of working during university (at least for the first couple of years).” That person said more of course but it’s not very relevant. At least they weren’t defensive responses like the other two have been to my previous comments.

But this comment got 291 points so far. It can be a good thing but sometimes it’s a bad thing because people on there sometimes upvote comments if it’s so bad or something totally stupid so everyone can see it. But I don’t worry about that.

I was talking about Jayden here when I made that comment.

More later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When couples from the same forum date

Saturday, December 26th, 2015

I had noticed on Wrongplanet about two people dating. Several times I would see two members dating and then there is a break up and then one of them is posting about their ex on there. It’s always a disaster and after realizing how much of a narcissist Jerry was, I feel rather foolish. I also posted stuff about him on there eight years back because I was hurt by him and he was a member there but he didn’t post. He lurked there. I bet he enjoyed seeing all that and I wonder how a narcissist reacts when they see a blog written about them by their former victim.

There was another couple there who dated and one of them also kept posting about her issues with her ex and they were all considered attacks according to a former moderator so he also suggested to her she do a private blog about that. Years later she said in my thread on a  forum how her ex was also a psychopath narcissist and how another person was right about him.

There was another couple on Wrongplanet and one of them would also post about her partner but her ex joined I2 and said she isn’t what she makes herself to be.

Obviously there are two sides to the story so we don’t know who the abuser is or who the narc is. On Wrongplanet was it the girl who was the narc or the ex who joined I2?

Since it seems like it always ends up in a disaster when two members date and then break up, I wonder how many hidden narcissists are on Wrongplanet? I already suspect there is an abuser that posts there and I won’t say who it is, it’s just what they have said about victims and abusers and that person acts like there is no such thing as abuse. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt but then I realized I was right about that person the first time. It wouldn’t surprise me if that person is a narcissist. That person had also written how people prefer to live in their magical world about feelings so that gives me a bad feeling that person cannot empathize because after all that person relies on logic than feeling according to them. Narcissists cannot feel for someone, they have no empathy, they do not get feelings or different perspective. That person fits my mom’s stereotype of an aspie. To her that is a real aspie. Plus that person has said about women on ASParterns how narcissists they are. Talk about projection. Also it doesn’t surprise me anymore when narcissists think their victims are narcissists. Are they really that delusional? Even a normie member told that person on the forum that they had proved her right.

Narcissists are hidden because they can act like decent people and be charming and sweet and nice and loyal and very caring. You can know someone for years and not know they are a narcissist. I found out that my husband’s old friend is a narcissist because I still have his ex wife on my Facebook friends and she was posting these word pictures and they were about abuse and narcissism and she had in one of them how you don’t always know the person you knew since childhood and they turn out to be narcissist and I also saw she was divorced and she kept posting about domestic abuse. I also saw she no longer had her husband as her friend on there. It was obvious who she was talking about after I put two and two together and I didn’t ask her about it. I just knew. She told me she and him had known each other since childhood and were friends and have been for years when my husband and I attended their wedding. Of those three times we have seen them, they always looked like a happy couple and there might have been abuse going on and I didn’t know that. Victims can hide it too and act happy. I was shocked when I found out my husband’s old friend was a narcissist and I never asked my husband about it or if he knew about the divorce and the drama. So they might even be on your forum and you wouldn’t know it. They could even be on autism forums and you wouldn’t know it. But it would not surprise me if that one person on the forum is a narcissist. But I bet if we know the red flags, we might be able to see them more because we will know how to spot them.

This post might say it all.