Archive for the ‘internet’ Tag

iDisorder

Sunday, June 10th, 2018

It’s been a while since I wrote a post here. I just got through reading a book I checked from the library and it was called iDisorder. On the cover is a photo of a smartphone with a person behind the screen and it makes me think of the Poltergeist title

The book is about how obsessed we have gotten with technology and how people can’t function without their phones and how they mimic mental disorders like OCD. “If I don’t check my messages, I might miss something important.”

But here is something I disagreed with, if it’s not phones people are obsessed with, they would be obsessed with other things, people text and drive, well they have been talking on their cell phones long before there was texting, people have done other stuff too like read books or do their make up or taking off their coats or sweaters looking at their road maps while driving. Before smartphones, parents were just reading a book than texting. Parents would just stand around and talk to other parents or to their friends than watching their kids, I remember those days. Smartphones are not really to blame, they are just something people are fixated on. I don’t get anxious if I don’t check my Twitter or my Facebook or my text messages. I am still old fashioned and I don’t spend hours texting or compulsively checking emails. I will do it when I have the chance, not be a prisoner to my own phone. But sadly I think it has come to a point where we are all expected to be be glued to our phones and compulsively check our messages because of what has changed. If you have a job where you need to respond quickly to your boss or co workers, you have to check your phones whenever you get a text or an email because it could be from them.

I don’t think kids need a smartphone and I don’t plan on giving our kids one until they are teens. I can just call or text the parents if my children were at someone’s house. Yes I have had to go to my son’s school to get my phone when i left it there than getting it the next day because I need it for work and to contact my boss and because it has his number in it. But kids don’t need to check their phones all the time because one they are not employed and two, they don’t have a demanding job where they are working on projects and have to keep in touch with their co workers and boss. Before smartphones, we had pagers and used those. Before texting, kids did note passing. This is nothing new, we have just evolved. Instead of reading books, people do it on their phones now because we have ebooks. Before you could put music on your phones, people used ipods or had walkmen or a CD player. Before smartphones, people were playing their Gameboys or anything electronic. Before smart phones and watching TV on them, kids were already planted in front of the TV set.

I think the author was just blaming phones too much on how society is now and I wanted to tell him what people were doing before smartphones but now we can all do them on the phone now. Hey before smart phones, people were doodling, now they have their phones to mess around with. As technology evolves, so do humans. Take away all the phones in the world, people will just find other ways that will impair them. Before GPS, I was just writing down directions on how to get to places and looking at the paper while driving by glancing at it. Now it’s the GPS to look at.

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My Offensive Comments Collection part 2

Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

I am back and have abandoned this section. I have offended some more people online:

Someone posts about their kid and this mom adopted her son and he acts like a Kevin. Ever seen Let’s Talk About Kevin, this was her post:

As the title says my son hates me. I know people are going to tell me that this is a phase but it has been going on since he was an infant. He is now going on 5. I know that the post is going to make me sound like a terrible person. There is nothing you can say that I haven’t already thought about myself.

I am a single mom by choice. I know I know. That makes me a selfish bitch but I wanted to be a mom. My son was placed with me at 4 months. I am a working mom (again I know what you’re thinking) and had to put my son in daycare. He did well at daycare but did nothing but cry at home. Nothing I did worked. Someone else would take him and he would shut up. I took more parenting classes and tried those techniques. They rarely worked.

Then he became a toddler and the behavior continued. His preschool teachers have never had complaints but he is a terror at home. For a while he was potty trained at school but not at home. He sat in time out at school but screamed at home. I followed the same routine but he would kick me and punch me if I tried to put him in time out. He would run from me at stores and in parking lots. He stopped eating dinner for a week because I wouldn’t give him hotdogs.

His behavior has started to turn more violent. He hits me a lot and doesn’t listen to a thing I say. We are working with a therapist but she doesn’t believe all of his behaviors because he doesn’t act that way in front of her. He is an angel at therapy and in school. They don’t see it. Our last two therapist didnt either. He loves guns and they tell me it is normal boy behavior but they don’t see how he plays with them. He plays differently there. He is obsessed with death and tells me to die. He knows what it means.

He is very smart. He is acamdeically ahead but socially behind. He can talk to kids but prefers to be alone. At home he doesn’t let me play with him. I hear stories of kids who don’t let their parents be alone and I wish that was us. He doesn’t care that I’m even here. He rarely lets me hug or kiss him. He doesnt mind hugs or kisses from other family members though. I think he knows that he can manipulate people and I’m sure he hates me. I don’t know why. I know I’m not perfect but I have always tried. I’m tired of trying. I take the long way to his preschool and think about running away from all of this often. I love my son but he hates me. I don’t know what to do or how to repair our broken relationship. I get all of the blame but none of the help.

Some comments imply she is to blame for her child but this mom is trying to bond with her kid and get him to love her and according to her responses, he does not have RAD. This looks a lot like Let’s Talk About Kevin. I remember in the movie the mom tries to bond with Kevin but he pushes her away and he also refuses to potty train. He acts normal with everyone else but his mother. The more she tries, the worst he gets and then at the end, she doesn’t try anymore and guess what, she finally gets what she always wanted. So all she had to do for all these years was not try and bond with him. But was it her fault? No because she was doing what most moms do and they try everything to to get their kid’s attention and to love them and to bond and she did try to raise concerns but no one would believe her so the mom would blame herself and question herself, talk about gas lighting everyone was giving the mother. Taking him to a psychiatrist would have been useless because they would have seen a normal child and the mom would have come off as someone who is trying to get her kid labeled.

So I said in my comment:

You got a Kevin. Maybe try not bonding with him and see how that goes. If you have seen Lets Talk About Kevin, then you know what I mean. It felt like I was reading about the movie.

-12 downvotes it has as of right now.

Now last week on Valentine’s Day on Twitter, I believe someone I am following posts something fatlogi. It was a retweet and it read “Dear struggling teen, The problem is society, not your body. We see you. We’re here for you. There are entire communities who’ll love you exactly the way you are. @weightwatchers is not the answer. #wakeupweightwatchers. There was also another one I saw in the comments when I looked at the thread and it read “Teens, the problem is not your body pr the way you eat. The problem is society & the way it views bigger bodies. There is no wrong way to have a body. You are perfect just as you are, don’t let profit driven diet companies tell you otherwise” and it has the hashtag again and weightwatchers.

When I read those comments, I saw them as telling teens it’s okay to be obese and promoting it. I wrote “fatlogic, being too skinny and too big is unhealthy” and the person I was following asked me excuse me so I clarified what I meant. I said the tweet was promoting people to accept any body even though obesity causes medical issues and people who have lost weight have actually felt the difference in their feet and how much easier it is to go up and down the stairs. The I added in my new comment since Twitter only has limited characters that being under weight was just as bad too and explained the medical issues anorexia causes and how people have died from it. But the person did not take it well. While she clarified what the tweet meant, and she said thew tweet was actually meant, she accused me of fat shaming. All she had to do was clarify the tweet and leave it at that and it would have been the end of it. If anyone knows me, I do not like false accusations so I will get defensive and defend myself. Some people get enraged when falsely accused, I just get defensive. I told her I wasn’t fat shaming and explained I was pointing out the medical issues both obesity and anorexia face. I also asked her if she ever saw TV shows like Mr 600 Pound Life and saw how debilitating it is for them and asked if she promoted that. Instead of answering, she told me she promoted everyone accepting and loving their body and everyone but the person in that body keeping their opinions on that body to themselves and then said she was blocking me as she doesn’t accept fat shaming in her tweed. There she went accusing me again of fat shaming so she was one of those people who dismisses medical facts about obesity but doesn’t dismiss medical facts about eating disorders and anorexia. I have been checking out the fat acceptance community and I already wrote a post about it last week. But I did see posts at Tumblr and the fat people were spreading misinformation and also telling everyone how saying medical things about obesity is just a disguise to look like a health concern to fat shame. I also saw other tweets telling everyone to block anyone who fat shames and does “health concerns.” It is possible this person fell into that bullshit and now believes their conspiracies. Look, I have fat family members, my mom is fat, my in laws are fat, my husband is fat. I have relatives who are fat. They all know obesity is unhealthy and it has risks. Of course none of them are obese but my husband is considered obese but he just looks fat. He does not get offended by medical information about obesity and call it fat shaming. Even other fat people out there think this whole movement thing is bullshit and they know it’s unhealthy so they are either trying to lose weight or they don’t but they know it’s unhealthy. It’s stupid to hate them of course, it’s stupid to not treat them as human. If I hated fat people, I wouldn’t have married one and my husband was a lot bigger when we met. This person who blocked me isn’t even close to being fat or even obese. She might be overweight but she still looks normal. So why would she get offended is beyond me when I made fun of no one and didn’t judge anyone or give out any unsolicited advice on weight loss because that is just rude if I did that. It’s not like I wrote, “Attention fat people, time to put down the coke and burgers and stop eating junk food and start walking and quit eating all the time and stop being lazy slobs and get off your fat ass.” That would just be judgmental and implying all fat people eat like that and never work out and they love their soft drinks and fast food and anything processed and sugar.

Smoking is unhealthy
Skinny fat is unhealthy
Eating junk food is unhealthy
Drinking is unhealthy
Drugs are unhealthy
Being obsessed with a person is unhealthy
Addiction is unhealthy
Emotional eating is unhealthy

See what I did there? Where is the shame?

Now I was never fond of any diet programs and find them a waste of money and WeightWatchers have this point program and I am not sure how it’s supposed to work because some health foods have no points but how does that work, you can eat too much and still give yourself the same amount of calories you body uses. Then they weigh you every week and you are supposed to drop the pound and if you don’t, you are kicked out of the program if I am remembering correctly. To me that is like too much pressure and demand. Plus it costs money to join. I am too cheap to pay money to lose weight so I’d rather do it on my own, eat less and work out and drink water than calorie drinks. If this program is causing eating disorders like the modeling industry was causing, maybe they will change their way like the modeling industry has.

What is it with telling everyone to love their bodies, what about anorexics or obesity? Some anti fat acceptance fat people have explained loving your body just means you love it enough to take care of it and to make changes to be the healthy weight. Now that makes more sense and all you have to do is clarify that if I misunderstand it. They also said it means to accept any flaws or any burns or amputees your body has but not anorexia or obesity.

Now the next one I offended. I posted a thread on Wrongplanet, everyone misunderstands it because I didn’t know how to articulate it. Then when I try to clarify it and then asked if they got it now, someone took offense to it and accused me of being patronizing and wrote they don’t think they would be responding to my posts anymore.

There was another one I posted but I posted about it in my other blog and it was called weight loss is a sensitive topic
Okay is telling someone to put on weight thin shaming? Basically what I did would be called fat shaming by the fat acceptance because I gave the person weight loss advice when he complained about adult baby diapers not fitting him. They have other ridiculous things as fat shaming like weight loss or mentioning your weight loss, not wanting to be fat, and that one video I saw of these two doctors giving an autopsy to an obese body that was donated by the person who had died and that was considered fat shaming by them. See they dismiss science and the doctors did prove how unhealthy fat was and how it wraps around your organs and she did indeed died from heart disease and they showed the damage the fat has done to the liver because it had creases that was done by the body fat and they said it was doing damage to the liver and could tell by the creases. Then at the end they sewed the tummy back up and zipped the bag back up with the body. If anyone is curious about the video, her it is:

But in the comments people were focused on the doctor who was also overweight and couldn’t be focused on the body and what obesity does. I just wanted to tell everyone “who cares about his size. The video is about what obesity does to your body, not what size the doctor has.” My husband weighs more than this body. Oops did I just fat shame my own husband? Last time I checked what fat shaming is, it’s ridicule and belittling and making fun of someone for their size. I only stated a fact, not say it to make fun of him.

No you don’t have OCD just because you like your house clean

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

So when the sales guy was at my house showing me the Kirby doing a demonstration, he told me he was OCD. I asked him if he had that diagnoses and he said he has never gotten one before. I then didn’t believe he had it because lot of people think they have it just because they like things a certain way or in order or because they are stuck on a topic and spend hours with it researching it and reading about it and can’t stop.

I wanted to tell him that OCD is not really having a clean house and needing it all clean and asking him if he actually likes needing to have a clean house. from my understanding people with OCD do not like wanting to have a clean house but they can’t stop it because of bad thoughts and thinking something bad will happen. I can’t even relate to that and that doesn’t even describe me. But yet if someone likes their house to be very clean, everyone thinks that person is OCD. No they are not unless there is anxiety behind it and they get distressed about the need to want their house to be neat and there has to be fear behind it. It’s too bad how doctors and everyone will be quick to say someone has OCD without looking behind the symptoms first to see if it’s truly OCD. Now I wonder if I had been misdiagnosed with it because no one had ever talked to me about why I wanted the house clean. I just don’t like messes. No I am not scared of them, I just don’t like messes. No I am not scared of dirt or germs. No I am not afraid of our house getting roamed with termites or having rodents come in or thinking our house will fall down if it’s not clean. No I do not get anxiety as I am cleaning.

I often hear online how people will say they are OCD about their house or OCD about something or say how it makes their OCD crazy when something isn’t even. People with real OCD get annoyed with that stuff. Occasionally I will see someone come to the OCD forum on Reddit and ask about their “compulsion” and they are just talking about being fixated on a topic and how they can’t stop researching it and learning everything about it and thinking about it and I think “that’s isn’t OCD, that is a symptoms of autism.” But my mom would call it OCD because she thinks they’re both the same but have different labels. But at least one person will point out to them to the Asperger’s forum on Reddit and tell the OP they are leaning towards autism about their obsession.

But that was my first time ever seeing someone saying they are OCD because they are also clean. Even Jerry did the same thing but it was about organization and because I wasn’t organized enough for him, I wasn’t OCD so therefore the doctors were wrong. Maybe they were. So was my ex because OCD isn’t liking things organized and people with OCD would get anxiety from wanting things organized and not get pleasure out of it or feel calm about it and there would be worry behind it and anxiety behind it and it would drive them crazy needing things to be organized and they can’t stop even though they want to. It certainly didn’t drive him crazy wanting things in order and he liked it. There was no fear behind it or anxiety and no “Oh no it’s the end of the world because my soup can is in the wrong spot, oh no, I’m dead. Now I have to make sure nothing bad will happen after it’s been in the wrong spot because my girlfriend didn’t know how to put it back when she was snooping.” Now that’s OCD and lot of OCDers don’t have that compulsion and that is why it’s a stereotype because most people think of organization and liking things even and in order and being neat when they hear the word OCD and they may also picture excessive hand washing and excessive checking things and fear of germs. Monk was a stereotype of it because he feared dirt so he always had to wipe his hands after shaking hands. Then there was As Good As It Gets and Jack Nicholson in it couldn’t step on any cracks and he feared germs so he wore gloves and couldn’t use the same bar of soap. But other things he did did seem to lean towards autism like the need to sit in a certain spot in a restaurant and being upset about his usual waitress not being there. Some people believe he was misdiagnosed as having OCD so they view him as an aspie.

I remember another funny story. I was seeing my school counselor one time when I was 15 and it was during school. I had my Game Boy Color with me and he said I was doing OCD and I asked him why and he said I keep on taking off the battery cover because I keep thinking it’s not on right and I want to be sure it’s on right and I keep thinking it’s not so I have to keep checking. I told him that was not why I was doing it and I know it’s on right and I am just taking it off because I am and putting it back on. So he gets up and takes the system out of my hand and sits back down and I start to play with my fingers and he goes “Oh I see, I took this away and now you are twisting your fingers.” He then said he took it away so he could see what I do and he saw I will just go to my fingers. It was not about the battery cover and I am just someone who will play with things in her hand and if I have nothing, I play with my fingers.

So people just make assumptions when they see a behavior and assume it’s OCD. Thoughts get stuck in your head, oh that must be OCD. You keep getting distracted by thoughts, oh that’s OCD. My question to those accusations would be “is there any anxiety behind it?” “Are they bad thoughts or happy thoughts?” “Do they give the person distress?” If not, it’s not OCD. Someone even asked on Wrongplanet about listening to the same song over and over OCD and I said it was not if it’s not giving them distress. If they are doing it because they enjoy it, it’s not OCD. I have even seen people say online about songs being stuck in your head OCD. Unless it gives them distress, then it is.

I’m so crazy

Friday, February 3rd, 2017

(This post contains sarcasm)

I hate it when people normalize what I went through as normal. I have been taken advantage of, used, spat at, gotten into trouble by other kids, trick into eating foods that have been farted on or sat on or been in other kids mouths, made fun of, verbally abused by being told I am retarded or stupid, made fun of for how I talked, had pine cones thrown at me, and this happened to me all the time and I was targeted for this abuse.

I decided today that anyone who tries to tell me this is all normal I will cut them out of my life for making me feel I am crazy and mental and that I can’t handle normal things so I exaggerate and make things look bad than it really is.

I guess I am so crazy no wonder I am on SSDI because I am so crazy.

I am so upset about that comment I got online why was I so stupid to read past “Please don’t take offense” because I did get offended after all and upset and now I am feeling like I am insane and crazy and I exaggerated my problems and my past and I must not have looked hard enough to see everyone else get it all the time. Then in 6th grade I was falling apart I had to be taken out of school and couldn’t go for a while because I was so ill and I was even seeing a psychiatrist but it was for a diagnoses. But I don’t think I was there because I was being picked on, I was there to get a diagnoses for school because all the other diagnoses I have had were not working.

My husband just told me none of this was normal and he never had any of that stuff happen to him and that person was crazy for thinking it’s normal. I asked him he has never been taken advantage of or had been given food that was in their mouth or been sat on and he told me No and that was bullying and not normal.

For years I was weary of taking a piece of candy from anyone if I didn’t see them taking it out and giving it to me because I was so worried they had done something to it and will start laughing after I put it in my mouth. I also was afraid I was going to be taken advantage of anyone in school so it made me be cautious and I was also cautious of any stories I was told about because I wasn’t sure if they were made up. And this is normal? Wow I am crazy if this is how it affected me and no wonder I am on SSDI. I really do have mental issues if I can’t handle normal life and normal things do mental affect on me or psychological affect. I wonder if there is a condition for this sort of thing I have?

Am I dealing with an idiot?

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

So I am in another group about being raised by narcissists and I have realized my mom has some of the tenancies and so did her parents and her oldest sister has them too. Wow, there was even narcissism in my family and my mom had FLEAS. But I turned out fine.

So someone made a thread on there talking about when she was six and how her mother would take her shopping and just leave her in the department store. She would wait for a real long time and being this mature six year old, she would go to a store employee and report her mother missing so they would call her over the intercom and it would turn out her mother wasn’t in the store and she was elsewhere so she would come back and get her. This happened three times and after the third time, this time they didn’t give her back to her so they took the mother to the back and never again did her mother leave her in the store again. She swore her mother was trying to abandon her and was trying to have her get kidnapped.

I wrote how you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than having your kid getting taken by a random stranger so if some parent thinks they can just do that, a random stranger is more likely going to try and help the child find their parents and report them to a employee or call the police to try and find the parents and then the parents would be arrested for child abandonment. Someone responds asking me if this is a chance a normal parent would take and never mind the kidnapping, an unsupervised 6 year old can get into mischief and this was a department store. I told that person my point was it’s very very difficult to have your kid get taken by a random stranger and you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than intentionally losing your child to a random stranger. That person responds back just today and asks So, leaving your child unattended in a department store is responsible parenting because the chances are very small that the child will be kidnapped/murdered? I told her I never said that, I said it’s very very difficult to have your child get kidnapped by a random stranger and you have a higher chance of winning the lottery so if the OP’s parent thought she could just lose her and have her get kidnapped, she was very mistaken.

I always hate these kind of conversations and if she responds again twisting my words, I am done with her. I do not deal with idiots and she could just be trolling me. I will update this post if she replies again with a idiotic response.

How I feel about those autism hate sites

Thursday, December 29th, 2016

Often times we will see articles about how bad borderlines are and what the red flags are and what makes them toxic people. I see the same written about NPD and psychoapaths and yes those are mental illnesses to rather people want to believe it or not.

I see the same with Asperger’s. I will see hate sites out there warning other people about being in a relationship with them and how harmful they are and how abusive they are.

Now what do I think of these sites, I believe these were created by women who were deeply hurt by their ex who happened to have it or believed they did. I see the same about borderlines too and NPDs and psychopaths and personality disorders. Some do armchair diagnose. I armchair diagnosed mine with covert narcissism but it turned out she was BPD  if she was telling the truth but I still feel she acted very narcissist and a covert one. Talk about overlap and some victims do believe covert narcissism and BPD are the same.

People will express their hurt differently. Some will just suffer in silent and only talk about things their ex did while some others will be hateful about their ex and make fun of them and their problems and make hate posts about them and hate pages on them while some do the extreme and make hates pages on their disorder telling everyone how bad people are with it and warning everyone to stay away from them. There is even a hate group on autism on the Delphi forums. It’s mostly women in it and not all of them are bad and hateful but those ones always stand out and they will make fun of their ex’s and hate on autism. Even the group owner is very hostile towards anyone who is on the spectrum ad will boot and silence anyone if she thinks you’re on it and she will even ban people if she thinks they’re aspies. She has gotten very paranoid and thinks a user from Wrongplanet is trolling there and making different accounts posing as an NT so she bans that user. I remember the time another NT was banned from that group because she was posting on Wrongplanet so the owner assumed she was an ASD but she took it well.

How did I handle my hurt on my ex’s. Well with Jayden I made fun of him behind his back so I even wrote a story about him making fun of my situation and in the story the girlfriend would get tired of him being lazy and not wanting to work so she decides to make him wear diapers so she gives him a choice, either he moves out or wear diapers and he complains how “retarded” that all is but because he doesn’t want to move back home, he goes with diapers. My husband would tease me about him from time to time saying “No wonder you wanted to put him in diapers, he was an adult baby.” When I watched an episode of South Park where the boys got addicted to a computer game and there was someone in the game who was cheating so the boys had to kill a bunch of animals to gain experience points to level up to kill off the character so he would stop killing other characters who didn’t have high experience points because he had so many. The user was fat and messy and lazy so I said to my mother they had made a whole show on Jayden and my mom laughed and said my little brother said that exact same thing and said this is something I should watch because it’s about my ex.

Then there was Jerry. I also talked about her for a while until my parents said they were sick of hearing about her and she was out of my life now so move the fuck on so I would talk to my husband about it and he listened and supported me. I also went on a posting rampage on Wrongplanet about her talking about the stuff she has said t me about me and other things and about how I was treated. I knew she lurked there but I just didn’t care. I wanted her to see my pain and suffering and after finding out about narcissism, I regretted what I did because it meant she probably enjoyed the pain she gave me and had  a good laugh at my suffering because I gave her the attention she wanted.

While I did those things, some will go out of their way and create websites or hate groups on a condition while some will make a blog about their ex and post their real name and I hear someone did actually do that on here and then within a week, her blog was gone and hadn’t been back up since. I did see someone who did that (I wonder if that was the same person) and her intent was to destroy him and to warn any other women who are dating him and when they Google his name they will find her blog and find other news articles about him the bad stuff he has done and the man will suffer forever and be ruined.

Then if course I have heard about women wanting to get revenge on their ex’s after being hurt by them. Reason why I am saying women is because the stories are mostly by them than by guys.

Every hurt person handles it differently.

 

 

Why I blog

Saturday, October 29th, 2016

Someone reposted a blog entry on their blog and I only read parts of it but the blogger wrote what that blog post was about. It is here.

Not very many people read this blog, in fact very few do less than 10 on average a day. But my other blog is more popular because I get around 250-300 visitors a day on average. But the reason why I blog here is because I like to write out my thoughts and feelings. I do not have anywhere else to talk about it unless I want to keep talking about my same thoughts over and over flooding forums and coming off as an attention seeker and whiner. If you are just doing a blog to get fame and to be popular and to get lot of comments and readers, you are setting yourself up for big disappointment.

“I don’t do drama.”

Monday, October 10th, 2016

Often times I have seen people say on the internet that anyone who says this actually are the ones who do drama. To me this never made sense. It never made sense because people who don’t do drama would try to avoid it and walk away once it starts. I used to get into drama all the time online because I cared too much what people thought, I was always defending myself from false accusations and insults, but all it was doing was it was getting me into trouble and making me more if a target on forums and then it was upsetting me too much it would distract me at work because it would be too upsetting and stressful. So now I try to avoid it. I learned to not care too much what people think. I don’t argue anymore with stupid or talk to a brick wall or be a broken record.

I went on a forum and asked about where this logic came from about people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. At first I didn’t get good responses and people weren’t seeming to take my question seriously so I replied in the thread saying it was serious and I really want to know why people think people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. Then finally I got two good responses. The reasons I got were:

It’s people getting angry, feeling hurt, being challenged or attacked. Those things happen sometimes though, even among good people. I’ve yet to meet a married couple that doesn’t have some drama in their lives. People who say that they don’t like drama are saying that they don’t like it when people get upset, and that usually means either 1) they try to ignore it or 2) they get upset themselves. Those are, unfortunately, the two worst responses to somebody else getting upset because they escalate the situation rather than resolve it. It’s usually better to deal with drama by trying to defuse the situation. There are lots of ways to do that: calm in the face of anger works sometimes, humor is often great, getting a third party to come in and mediate can help a lot, or sometimes just being the bigger person and being willing to admit to mistakes.

So, TLDR, a person saying they don’t like drama is strongly correlated with that person having poor skills for dealing with drama when it occurs and therefore making it worse.

 

I’m one of the rare people who hates drama and for the most part, actually avoids getting involved in it. I imagine that people who hate drama, yet keep causing drama, are people who are addicted to outrage in some way. They tend to live in a bubble, and when they say they hate drama, they hate arguing because they want everyone to agree with them because they’re always right. When they exit their safe space and encounter other people, they start arguing with other people who also live in a bubble, and once two people outside their safe spaces and addicted to outrage collide, drama ensues. This should explain where a lot of outrage and drama comes from.

 

These two responses make so much sense about people who say they don’t like drama or don’t do it. They can’t handle to be challenged or attacked and drama is part of life and anyone has yet to meet someone who doesn’t ever have drama in their life.

So basically when someone says they don’t do drama, they are the ones who will just shut down and not discuss it whenever you disagree with them or have a different perspective so therefore they run away from the problem than trying to resolve it. They are more likely to keep things bottled up and not express themselves or speak up whenever something bothers them so instead of telling the person, they just hold it all in. Some people just don’t have good social skills when it comes to disagreements so therefore they turn it into a drama so instead of facing this issue, they run from it by trying to avoid it because of their lack of skills of dealing with it. I think people who have these issues tend to have problems such as anxiety. So they are not equipped to dealing with drama so they avoid it. So people who say they don’t do drama means all these three things so I wouldn’t put it it your dating profile or else people will think of these following things:

You have poor coping skills with a disagreement so you make things worse

You want everyone to agree with you

You won’t tell people how you feel about things they have said to you or what they did to upset you so you keep it bottled up and then you explode because you never spoke up

You will not discuss things to resolve an issue or hear a different perspective

 

These are the types of people other people would want to avoid to so put “I don’t do drama” or “I don’t like drama” in your profile would make them steer clear of you because of the picture you gave them. Also people who put they don’t do drama indicates they have gotten into a lot of drama in the past so that might also give you a picture of them about how they always get into fights and they can’t handle it maturely so it does become a drama than a discussion. Also it could indicate silent treatments because you have gotten them so upset, now they don’t want to talk to you and they won’t even discuss it with you in a civil manner. Instead they would rather not talk about it and keep quiet about it.

Sadly I am someone who doesn’t handle false accusations well so I do try to avoid drama because I can’t handle someone thinking wrong of me and getting the wrong idea about me because it gives me anxiety and then I am obsessed about it and those thoughts are intrusive and they distract me and then I am very upset and I don’t like it. I always feel attacked or feel someone is trying to pick a fight with me when they have the wrong idea about me. Supposedly getting very upset about it means what they are saying is true but it boggles my mind why false accusations wouldn’t upset someone. So the reason why I try to avoid drama is because of the affect it does on me. But what I don’t understand is why this would mean they like drama. I watch Dr. Phil, I read books with drama in them, I also read internet drama but I do not like being in it. There is a difference. But I don’t understand how people who don’t like drama means they like being in it. That makes no sense because it always stresses me out and gets me very upset and then I can’t stop thinking about it and it affects me so why would I like being in it if this is what it does to me? So I avoid it to avoid this. Maybe some people don’t like people who avoid drama so they steer clear of “I don’t do drama” people for the reasons I listed above.

 

Feeling people want to silence me

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

Yes this is till on my mind and I still have stuff on my mind about it.

I feel people want to silence me so they are saying I am doing gossip and not confronting them about it.

They don’t want to hear I was harassed by other aspies and bullied by others with it and judged by others with it.

They don’t want to hear I was put down for my aspie traits and bullied for it.

They don’t want to hear I have gotten the same treatment and misunderstandings from other aspies I have gotten from NTs.

They don’t want to hear any examples of what has happened to me when I want to get my point across.

They want to limit my communication. My feelings. They want me to be silent and not have me talk about my personal experience and what I have gone through.

How do you talk without mentioning anyone subtly even if you are not thinking of a specific user online or not thinking of anyone on a forum you’re posting on? How do you talk without the stuff you have read online and learned from personal experience rather it was online or in real life or people you know who have had that experience?

How do I talk about my personal experience without insulting anyone?

How do you express your hurt and frustration and comfort without being seen as being sly or taking a dig at anyone?

How do other people communicate without doing all this?

Do I need to make very vague posts now?

Apparently it’s also offensive to try and figure out what part of me is the OCD, the anxiety, the Asperger’s and what is the burnout and what is the depression or anxiety and trying to figure this all out for myself so I know what I am experiencing and going through.

I’m a mess.

My style of communication is offensive to some people

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

some people.

Over the years I have always changed my way of communicating to avoid misunderstandings and to avoid upsetting and offending people and being taken the wrong way. I have learned to use I statements and talking about my experience and I even say where I got a information from like I will say “I read that” or say “I saw someone posting on Reddit about” or say “On babycenter” bla bla bla and say “I have actually seen people admit it” and I will sometimes post my opinion and then talk about myself so people know where it’s coming from.

But sometimes a person will still get offended or think I talked about them because they made a similar post earlier or because they think I have some hidden agenda in my post as if they think me talking about myself is my way of talking about other people. Do people actually do that? Or I make a post and a person might think I am taking a dig at someone or talking about other members on the same forum I am posting it on.

Just recently I had to go to a different forum and ask about why do people think when someone says they don’t do drama, they actually do cause drama. If I had asked it on the current forum, someone could think I was being sly again or taking a dig again because of something recent that had happened.

I am thinking of maybe start doing disclaimers in my posts like “I am not talking about anyone here, if you had posted something similar about this, this post was coincidental.” And start saying “I am not thinking of anyone specific when I wrote this.” And say “Society sees it as this” than saying “they are useless” and then write about why so that way people know I am saying it the way it is and how other people see it so they wouldn’t think I am thinking that. But then again I once wrote “it’s a fetish to society” and that person still took offense because she still took it as my word than that is what it’s classified as when she was talking about furries. But we were cool now so nothing between us anymore. We had a little misunderstanding. I hate those and sometimes they never get resolved, most of the time. No I am not taking a dig here or being sly, I am using this as an example for my personal experience. I have nothing against that member and that person doesn’t come to the forum anymore anyway.

So the bottom line is, no matter how I word things and how I say things and how specific I am, someone will still take offense. I shouldn’t tip toe and worry about it. Is this why some people have social anxiety?  Just as long as I am not insulting anyone or attacking them or being a Cruella De Vil, I’m fine. If someone wants to read into it and think I am talking about someone or them, that is their problem and not mine. Just as long as I am not getting any PMs from any moderators, I’m okay. I have nothing against anyone on that forum nor do I dislike anyone there and people I have disliked there in the past are no longer there and the ones I avoid. My reasons for disliking someone would be over a misunderstanding we had and it never got resolved, them being a jerk to me and because they were not nice people. I don’t think I should silence myself by not talking about my personal experience like “I have been made fun of for my aspie traits by other aspies” just because someone from that forum did that to me in the past on a different forum and is no longer active there and comes back occasionally or because someone on that forum could be guilty of doing it to another aspie in the past so they could think I was talking about them. This is not to take a dig at them or to be passive aggressive, I am only talking about my personal experience. I think I also have the right to say I have been misunderstood by other aspies so that shows they are also human and we are not going to always understand each other because we’re human. Again, I am talking about my personal experience and not taking a dig at anyone or being passive aggressive.

And seriously if a person upset me so much on there, I will go talk about it somewhere else or talk about it to my online friend. Or just write about it in my own personal journal on my computer where it’s totally safe and no one can read it but me and I usually wouldn’t read it again after typing it because I want no one to read it and that person too possibly because you never know what other forums they could be lurking on and you never know if that person might know people on the other forum and they could tip that person off and tell them about my post and they see it the wrong way. But I wouldn’t open another thread on the same forum talking about it and make a thread be about that person only. I think that would take balls to do it and it doesn’t tell anyone how much they have hurt you. Instead it’s seen as bullying and gossip and it won’t bring you “Sorry I misunderstood you, we’re cool now” and bam everything is over and we’re cool now and everyone is happy. It doesn’t work like that. I wish it did though but that isn’t how humans work. Instead they just get more defensive and it makes things worse so it’s best to keep it private.

I am taking a temporary break from the forum and I might come back next week and hopefully it has blown over. I find that most people actually forget about dramas that have happened and they don’t really care and they move on. So you can leave a forum for a few months and come back and everyone will act like it’s never happened and you can move on too and start going back to your normal posting. Just don’t visit the same threads again where the drama took place.

No this blog entry isn’t a sly dig and I am not being passive aggressive posting this. I don’t mention names and forum names for a reason because I have this blog linked on other websites and I try and keep things vague as possible to avoid any further drama. Only people from that forum will know I am talking about their forum and only that person will know I was thinking of them as I wrote this but I was also thinking of in general because I don’t know who else thinks this too and who also takes offense to what I say but says nothing about it.

But when I do return, maybe I won’t be doing those disclaimers, it depends on how I feel. Sometimes when you’re upset, you feel the need to do things but when you get over it, you don’t feel the need to do it anymore. You won’t know for sure until you’re feeling better and if you still feel the same way, then maybe it will be necessary.

While writing this I was thinking if I should even post this or just put it in my private document on my computer. I decided I should just post it here because this is my personal experience and this isn’t a rant about a user. Just about my personal experience of posting online and how I feel about it. I do hope people read about it and understand my communication better (I don’t know how else to communicate) so this is what it’s about. I had already posted about this on the forum.