Archive for the ‘domestic violence’ Tag

I was right

Monday, April 3rd, 2017

So in my last post about the “offensive” comment I had made, not too long later the mother decided to give us in update with her situation so she posted that she had talked to her brother and his wife and to their five year old and it turned out he did it on purpose. The brother said they will leave and then the mother was unsure if she should take her kid into ER or not when she was showing worse symptoms. Then all the parents are saying in the thread how they should rush her into ER and don’t just sit there and wonder. Also others are telling her to kick the family out now. But yet not either of them knowledge how correct I was and didn’t even apologize for their down vote. So everyone is now acknowledging how the kid does have problems and needs help and to kick that family out now and she must protect her daughter. Well isn’t that what I had posted about in my “offensive” reply when I said I wouldn’t leave my kid alone ever and I would have kept everything locked away?

People are weird and rarely will anyone admit you are right and apologize.

No one wants to believe a kid can be evil

Friday, March 31st, 2017

This comment got four down votes as of right now:

 

I believe evil exists and I believe some are born with it. Jeffrey dahmar is an example and it’s possible a child to be evil. But no one wants to believe it. That kid might be sick. If it were my kid I would be rushing for hospitals and psychistrists and putting locks on everything and never let the kid out of my sight. Are the parents not aware?

 

Some parent online made this post here:

This is going to be a long story

My brother has this 4 soon to be 5 year old that I wouldn’t trust leaving my daughter alone with. He does some pretty sadistic things. He hits my child on purpose and the smile on his face when he laughs and smiles about it gives me chills. When he was younger he use to bite his siblings and niece’s and nephew’s. He’s grown out of that stage but now he scratches, punches, etc.

Today I’m writing cause it concerns me of what he actually did last night and I’m concerned for my child’s health. I just had woken up to make my child a bottle of milk (she has SPD and still is on bottles. As I was pouring her a bottle of milk I poured myself a glass as well and when I took a drink it tasted awful, like pure rubbing alcohol. At first I thought it was the glassed I poured it in but then I smelled the jug of milk and noticed there was a bottle of rubbing alcohol on the kitchen counter that was empty. I got panicked, spilled it all down the drain and started searching up what would happen if it was drank (I’m in panic mode now) I’m not sure if the bottle I made her previously was contaminated or not but she has SPD so I’m hoping and praying that it wasn’t cause she would know. I have no proof he did it but I just know in my heart he did. He’s a little sadistic shit of kid.

Anyway should I take my child to the E.R. So far she’s acting fine in her sleep but I’m not sure. She had a fever earlier but I think that was cause to her teeth (she’s been complaining her teeth hurt) has a dentist appointment tomorrow. Once again I don’t know if the milk had been contaminated earlier or just 4-5 hours ago.

Also, my brother and his wife are temporarily staying with us and because they had a conflict with my other brother they were staying with about their kids. So I feel like if I bring this up they’ll be devastated but their kid is just too bad

So it’s offensive that if your kid behaves like psychopath and it’s beyond normal,  you look for doctors and mental hospitals to help your child so they won’t be a psychopath and they learn to control it and it’s offensive to keep everything locked away so your kid can use anything as a weapon and keeping them in your sight so they won’t do anything evil because you are watching and you can’t trust them for a few minutes or in the other room by themselves. Also the mother said in her comments the kid is actually five going on six. But no one wants to believe it a kid can be that bad and you did nothing wrong to make your kid that way.

People saying their abusers faked a condition trend

Wednesday, November 16th, 2016

I often notice a trend by people who were in abusive relationships about their partners faking an illness. I did ask a couple weeks ago about how do we know if they actually had a disorder or are we just assuming they were faking it because they were abusive and it didn’t turn out well. I did write here about No longer identifying my ex as an aspie because it’s taboo to be in a relationship with someone who had it and they were abusive. Mine was controlling and emotionally abusive. She has never hit me or broken anything and she has never threatened me or called me any names like stupid or bitch or telling me how worthless I am or telling me no one will ever want me. But abuse is also a spectrum so not everyone always knows they are being abused but y mom knew but didn’t say anything until long after we were split up. But at first she said while we were living apart that she was worried I was being abused and I said I was not and reassured her I wasn’t. This was before I knew about emotional abuse and knew about different forms of it and when I found out after reading an article about it in the Seventeen mag around December 2008 or January 2009 and she ticked a few boxes for it, I was in denial for a while because I was still making excuses for my ex which is pretty typical in lot of victims. But the main reason was I was worried I would be playing the victim if I admitted it and came out with it. But my mother has reminded me that anyone can be abusive, even people with Alzheimer’s can be abusive. We actually adopted a dog from an animal shelter when I was 14 and she was an abused animal and it turned out her abuser was an old woman who was senile and she would forget to feed her dog so the dog would dig in the trash and she would beat her with a newspaper. It was obvious she did more to her than beating her with a paper because our dog was scared of lot of things like our tone, rags, and it was very difficult having her for months and then she got over her truama and was no longer afraid and didn’t easily pee anymore and was no longer disobedient. We just had to earn her trust. My grandmother has acted abusive verbally so I was afraid of her as an adult because of stories my mom was telling about her. When her Alzheimer’s got worse, she had more wild mood swings and emotions and would mistreat her caregivers. My mom thinks she was Bipolar. Plus before her Alzheimer’s got worse, she just hid it more or unless my mom hid it from us kids but she has told me stories like when we were children, she referred her sister in law as the bitch and would tell her sons she wanted that bitch out of her house. She had issues with jealousy and would get jealous and she never treated her daughter in laws well. My mom kept this from me and my brothers because she wanted us to have a good relationship with her and not be afraid of her or have our opinions about her be influenced by her stories. Mom made sure to never tell anything bad about our grandmother in front of us. But I did get afraid of her when she started to tell them in front of me and tell them to me as if she thought I could handle that part about her but I didn’t because I became afraid of my own grandmother. I didn’t want to be her victim so I was afraid and didn’t want to be around her anymore because I was worried she would go off on me and I never take it well when people mistreat me. Then it doesn’t help when people give me excuses about them and expect me to be understanding and just accept the abuse because “Oh she is just old and probably doesn’t remember she did it.” I was actually told that when I was 15 and my grandfather sided with her than with me and I was the child and she was the adult. But my aunt and my dad told me she is old so old people do those things and she probably doesn’t even remember it. But when her Alzheimer’s got real bad, her abusive behavior went away due to her short term memory being wiped so I no longer feared her and I was able to see her again and not be afraid. But I was not able to have any conversations with her.

When someone has a mental illness or a disorder (excluding personality disorders) you are expected to be understanding and have compassion or else you are seen as being ignorant when you have been hurt by them and talk about what they have done to you and how they have treated you that was abusive or hurtful.

I can’t count how many times I have seen people on the autism spectrum say how ignorant and narcissist NTs are for being hurt and abused by their “AS” partner and being called un understanding and being called bigots and I can’t count how many times I have seen them also say how discriminating someone is for writing about being abused and neglected by their “AS” parent and I think it’s too much to ask for a child to be understanding. These are children, you can’t expect them to accommodate their parents and have them turn out fine when they are adults. I have noticed it seems to be politically incorrect to be abused by an autistic person so you are better off not identifying them as such or else you won’t get sympathy so it’s no surprising to see people say how their abusers faked an illness or a disorder to get away with their abuse. If people just pretend their partners were normal or just say they had a personality disorder or not mention any disorder at all, they will get sympathy and not be re triggered if anyone stands up for their abuser because of a disorder they had.

Now I am asking how do we know they faked it. I understand how it’s so taboo to be abused by someone with a mental illness or a disability because people then dismiss your feelings and treat you as the bad guy and that doesn’t help you at all. It’s invalidating and it’s like your feelings don’t matter.

There was a thread again on narcissisticabuse subreddit on Reddit about someone faking an illness. The thread was titled “NEX faking amnesia” and another person wrote in their reply theirs faked something to get a medical Marijuana card and another person wrote theirs faked suicide attempts and I wrote I am sure mine faked theirs. Then the OP told me her nex faked a head injury to make her feel sorry for him and use it as an excuse to be a horrible person.

Why is it that when someone has a disorder, the victims are expected to be understanding and non affected by their abuse? Even people won’t label that person as an abuser if they have a disorder but ironically on Wrongplanet I have seen members there tell NT users that their “AS” partner is just abusive and that isn’t autism. So at least not all of them stick up for an “aspie.” Even in a aspie Facebook group, back when I still identified Jerry as an aspie, someone posted a question asking if anyone has ever been in a relationship with an aspie and what it was like so I answered and the response I got from someone was I had described an asshole and anyone can be one and it had nothing to do with AS. I was embarrassed and I felt bad and I wasn’t trying to bad talk AS and trying to say it was all aspie behavior. I was just answering a question about being in a relationship with an aspie and what it was like but that was just an example about how taboo it is to be in a toxic relationship with someone with it. It offends people. So when I stopped identifying her as one, I now don’t have to say what being with an aspie was like in a relationship. I now don’t have to say I dated an aspie one time and it was horrible. I don’t have to pretend by staying silent about it. Just as long as she didn’t have it, I am not pretending. I am not being silent. I don’t have to hide. I wouldn’t answer a question to someone if they asked if anyone has ever dated anyone with cerebral palsy because Jerry didn’t have it so I am not being silent about that because she didn’t have it so not answering a question about dating an aspie is the same thing. I solved my own problem. But looking on the bright side, at least I didn’t get accused of being ignorant or a bigot or a hateful person or non understanding. So not all autistic people think someone is non understanding for being in a bad relationship with an aspie.

I had AS and aspie in quotes in this post because usually they are not even diagnosed, just their partner putting that armchair label on them to explain their abusive or asshole or cold behavior.

I have seen a post on Reddit by an abused victim about their parent faking dementia but admitted it’s so hard to tell if it’s real or an act. The mother was in her early 60’s. So this is a trend I have been noticing about victims saying their abuser is faking a condition. So I tried asking on Reddit how can we tell if their condition is real or fake and if are we just saying they are faking it. How do I know Jerry wasn’t faking any of hers? My mom thought she was faking her PTSD and telling me she knew nothing about AS and doesn’t know what it is. I remember her telling me that back in 2007. But yet she didn’t think Jayden was faking anything when we were together and told me he might be a schizophrenic or might be mentally ill and I didn’t believe her then because it was just her opinion and she wasn’t a psychiatrist. But it turns out she was right and she told me “I told you he was ill” when I showed her the online court document about his parents divorce and it mentioned him being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and his mother helps him with daily assistance. But she still thinks he was an asshole and reminded me anyone can be an asshole. So at least my mom doesn’t undiagnose everyone if they are abusive because she didn’t say our former dog’s owner was faking being senile and reminded me anyone can be abusive. She also didn’t say Jayden was faking having ADHD because she told me he had more going on than ADHD.

Woman arrested for domestic abuse

Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

You don’t hear this often about women being arrested for abuse, you only hear about the guys being arrested. Sadly as a guy, you need to have actual proof you were the victim so this guy had his phone on record for the whole thing and it was enough for the police officers to make an arrest.

 

They call him Chucky

Monday, September 12th, 2016

I think I am going to start posting videos and news articles of violent kids. I am glad some people are aware of it already. Maybe if more people make documentaries about it, people will get more aware and maybe more help will increase for these families and parental abuse will be taken more seriously.

They call him Chucky. I think it’s an exaggerated term they are using because the doll was out killing people and this boy doesn’t kill anyone nor does he injure anyone. He just terrorized his family and his 16 year old sister moved out and the parents were upset about it. She had to see a therapist to cope with his abuse. The parents have four children together. They said he is only violent at home but baloney because he has been kicked out of several schools for attacking other kids there so he now had to attend a special school for kids with behavior disorders.

They are able to seek the child help and then they finally threaten to put him in a home and that fixes him for the most part. He still had his moments but only rarely now. Gee what took them so long to come up with that threat?

Reading the youtube comments, it’s weird how many people think whooping him will solve the problem. Ironic that they think solving violence with violence is the answer. But perhaps they are talking about self defense here. Maybe they mean while he is abusing them, not after. But the mom seems to know how to fend for herself against him. She can hold him down, grab his arms to keep him from hitting her. She can wrestle him too.

Sunday, September 20th, 2015

So my husband thinks I am very black and white because I go to the extremes and I am all or nothing but yet it if it’s something I want, I am willing to compromise.

But there are lot of gray areas in life and I always realize how things aren’t always black and white so what does this have to do with what I want. One example is I believe women should get away with murder when they kill their abusers if there was no way out and I feel the same way about kids and parents. My husband told me that is getting what I want and I asked him “How?” and he explained that it would be something I would want so I imagine him abusing me so I would want to kill him. That makes sense because I am putting myself in their shoes and I wouldn’t want to go to prison for self defense but if going to prison meant protecting my own children from the abuse or myself from the abuse so jail would be better than being beaten or my own kids being beaten. I told my husband that victims should get away with killing their abusers because that would be one less violent person in the world. But my husband said “but what if they just said they were being abused?” and I said “They would have to prove it” and he said “But what if they couldn’t and everyone else never knew about it?” I told him he made a very good point. I am sure people have done killings and claimed to be abused and I am sure abused victims have gone to jail. Sure they would all say that but they could be lying you know.

Sure people would say they were abused and then be in jail because there are stories out there about it but they could be lying after all. I remember the time when Betty Lou Beets was executed for killing her husband and she claimed she was abused and her adult children made the same claim too about her. At 14 years old I thought it was BS and they were just saying that to keep her from being executed because if that were true, she wouldn’t have been on death row and executed but back then I was ignorant and naive about our system. Now after learning how messed up our system is (which is a good reason to be against capital punishment), it is possible she was abused but I wouldn’t know. I remember when Kelli Stapleton tried killing herself and her daughter and she also claimed she was being beaten by her and her youngest daughter. It is also possible she could have been lying to keep herself out of jail and it is possible she could have provoked and manipulated her daughter into beating her to make it look like she is a victim and the video she took could have been staged but I will never know. But I think what she posted online got used against her because what you put online is there forever and she made her comments public. I know she tried to make light of her situation by trying to add humor about it so she said things like “I want an abortion but I am 11 years too late” or “autistic people grow up and flip over cars and spin the wheels” and she wrote how she hates autism. I don’t really blame her because I would hate it too if I was being beaten on a daily basis and I would also say stupid shit but from what I understand, you never ever talk that way about your child no matter what. They could chase you with a knife because you didn’t know how to fix their computer or be kicked down the stairs because you wouldn’t buy them a new gaming system, and it still wouldn’t be okay for you to talk that way about them. Hell your kid could even be a psychopath and it still wouldn’t be okay to talk that way about your child. But yet psychopathy can’t be diagnosed if the patient is under 18. Your own kid can even be a predator and it still wouldn’t be okay to talk that way about them. I wonder if it becomes okay when they reach 18 years of age?  Would the sentencing for Kelly have been any different if she didn’t write those things online? But then again she is happy to be in jail because it’s treating her better than a “cell of autism.”

My dad had been telling me in my childhood that life is unfair, this is one of them.