“All Lives matter.”

Monday, March 5th, 2018

This is something we often hear about the Black Lives Matter movement. People call it racist but I don’t think it’s racist but I think it just shows your ignorance. I will tell you why. It trivializes the problem black people face in life. Black people have been used as slaves, gotten less money in taxes for their schools, they have been segregated, they have to tip toe and what what they do. When you say “all lives matter” it’s great you see them as humans and think they matter as people and should be treated as such but you are showing how ignorant you are about black lives and their history or you wouldn’t be saying this. Of course all lives matter but that is missing he point of the movement.

You can walk into a store and be an asshole and scream and threaten the employees and everyone will just think you are an asshole. that is a privilege you have but when you are black, people then think black people are mean and rude and violent. They will just see it for your skin color, not because you are a jerk.

You can walk into a store and employees can watch you and follow you because you are doing something suspicious but for a black person it does’t matter what they are dong, they are always a suspect nonetheless. You have that privilege.

You can have a cop pull you over and you don’t need to worry about looking suspicious. You just follow their orders and not argue with them and everything goes well. Also if they pull you over, they actually had a reason, not because you looked suspicious. You have that privilege.

If a cop is pulling you over and making you get out of the car and even tasering you or jumping on you, it’s because you are fighting them and trying to get away because you had done a crime, that is a privilege. A black person is guilty no matter what. That is why they have to fear cops and it’s easy to say just do as you are told and nothing will go wrong. This is a white privilege.

Saying “All Lives Matter misses the point of what the movement is about. The movement is about black people being treated differently with cops and law force than whites.

When you say “All Lives Matter” god bless you for not ever witnessing racism nor knowing about what they go through in their daily lives and how awful people still are towards them. Ignorance is a bliss.

Even if you have known black people in your lives, maybe you have a black relative, maybe you have a neighbor who is black, maybe you have a black co worker or a black classmate, maybe you have talked to them before or served them as your customer and never once saw anyone treat them bad for their skin color. You are only seeing a small part of their lives and you have to be with them at the wrong time to see it.

I have a black relative. My uncle is gay so he is together with him. I have known him since I was six. He is a nice guy and as a child he would always give us cool presents. he has given me some of his TY bear beanies when he was clearing out his TY collection. he has given us cash for Christmas but he and my dad’s brother wrapped it all up in large boxes with packing peanuts and my brothers and I had to dig through all the peanuts to find a five dollar bill or a dollar bill and it would all add up to fifty bucks or twenty five bucks. Had I ever seen anyone treat him bad for his skin color? No. But my mom did tell me this story.

We were in California coming back to our condo from Disneyland. It was the middle of the night. Mu black uncle was driving. Then he saw a cop and started saying he is going to be pulled over now. My mom who was ignorant said he wasn’t doing anything wrong so he won’t pull him over. Sure enough the cop came out and pulled us over. The cop started to question him asking him questions about is personal life because for some reason it was suspicious to drive at two o clock in the morning. Then my little brother says something to him calling him uncle and the cop peeks inside the car and notices all these white humans. he had a look on his face and asked who these people were and my uncle tells him “That was my nephew who talked to me and this is my family, we are coming back from Disneyland to our condo in Palm Springs because that is where they decided to stay and invited me and my partner.” Right away the officer is apologizing and tells him he was doing his job and lets him go. My mom asked why he got pulled over and my dad’s brother said it was because he is black. That indicated this was not the first time it has happened and my mom was shocked. It was her first time she had ever witnessed racism. She grew up in Wisconsin and she knew about the riots that went on in the 1960’s but she never saw racism. She only heard about it.

I was sleeping when this happened so I missed it. My brother might have been too young to know what was going on and he might not even remember.

So saying “All Lives matter” to argue about black lives mattering is irrelevant because it misses the point. All lives already do matter but that is not what the movement is about so hence it misses the point and shows ignorance on your end. Because if you knew about black lives, then you wouldn’t be saying it.


“It’s not the same”

Saturday, March 3rd, 2018

I have been obsessed with fat people lately so I have been reading about them online and watching youtube videos on them and people ranting about them and also reading about fatlogic and fat acceptance. My husband decided to be with me in my bedroom and I was watching a BBC documentary about obesity that was made in 1999. I saw it on TV in 7th grade. But anyway they were talking about the cause of it and talking about genetic defects that cause them to be hungry all the time or more often so that was why they were overweight. Overall, they eat too much is why.

My husband who was there said to me he didn’t like the shows I watched and I asked him what was wrong with this one and he said it was upsetting. I asked him how so because they were talking about science of obesity and he told me it brings him back bad memories because he was teased about his size as a child so hearing about obesity is a trigger to him. He felt fat shamed even though he doesn’t get offended if my kids call him fat or me or the time I told him he couldn’t sit in my aunt and uncle’s camping chair because he was above the weight limit or when I said I wasn’t attracted to fat people so he decide to lose weight. But anyway I told him I don’t understand why that show would offend him if they are talking about facts because it would be like autistic people getting offended by shows about autism and I don’t get offended by that stuff and he asked me if I was teased about being autistic and I said no but I was called retarded and slow and teased for that. He told me that was why, I was never teased for autism so that is why I wouldn’t find the shows about it upsetting. Then I tell him I don’t get upset about watching retarded people on TV and he told me I know I am not retarded so that was why those shows also wouldn’t upset me.

I can’t really relate to my husband about being upset about TV shows that talk about your condition because do smokers get upset about shows about smoking or cancer people getting upset when they see TV shows about cancer and he told me again the shows about obesity just bring him back bad memories is all. He knows they are not saying anything bad about them, just only the cause and the reason behind it. But another video I was watching where a young lady was talking about facts of obesity she pulled from the internet and talking about how it increased, he thought she was a bitch and then I was watching another video by her and she was talking about them smashing scales and then my husband put on another video because he couldn’t stand her and this time it was about fat people talking about clothes they bought and trying them on. He thought that video was a lot better but boring and he left my room because he said that one girl upset him too much because she was a bitch and it was her tone and how she said it and she wasn’t a doctor and had no right saying those things. He said if she wanted to help people with obesity, then be a specialist in it or be a nutritionist but ranting about it on video isn’t helping them, she isn’t a doctor. If obese people want help, that is what doctors are for, people go them. I also asked him if people are not allowed to talk about obesity and say facts about it, how else will anyone learn about it and he said “doctors.” I told him how will thin people learn about it if there were no shows about it, should we all be ignorant about it. Then that was when he told me it was her tone and how she said it.

These were the two videos my husband got really upset by by this lady:

This video I was watching that also brought back bad memories:

I told my husband no matter how you say it about obesity or what you say about it, some people will still get upset and feel fat shamed even if you tell them to lose 15 pounds to bring their high blood pressure down or cholesterol problems down because the doctor might want to see if weight loss will help with it. I told him a story about on a forum when some guy was looking for adult ABDL diapers that fit him in XL and I started to give him weight loss advice by talking about myself and saying he doesn’t need to join a gym and he can work out at home and youtube has workout videos and he can work out 25 minutes a day five days a week and that is what I do and I drink water instead of calorie drinks and I have smaller portions and eat less and he then deleted his comment saying he was called a lazy fat slob. I never called him lazy or a slob. My husband agreed that man was sensitive and told me how I should have responded when he reacted that way. Then I told him some people will always take it the wrong way no matter how you word it.

Of course when I watched the videos and the reason for over eating is due to not knowing when they are full or being hungry more often because of a genetic issue, I always think, so don’t eat on hunger and only eat on schedule and eat on portions. My husband told me you are starving all the time and it never turns off so you feel hungry all the time and always feel like you are starving. I told him I am sure there are pills for it.

My husband is also one of those people who would not want to pay for an extra seat so I told him he thinks it’s okay to put his body in another person’s seat, that is pretty selfish and he told me he would do anything he can to fit into that seat and not spill over. I told him i would be pissed if someone put part of their body in my seat and I probably wouldn’t be nice about it but there are assholes in every group so it would still be no excuse to hate on fat people because there are assholes in every group and he said “yes.” It would just mean I ended up sitting next to an asshole who was too selfish to buy another seat. Not because he is fat. People out there will use justification to hate fat people when in fact they only dealt with an asshole who just happened to be fat and sadly they probably stand out more so it will seem like they are jerks who are not considerate of other people and their things or their space while other fat people will be thinking about their bodies and making sure they are not in someone’s way or crowding someone with their body and making sure they do not spill over in a plane seat or just buying another ticket of they are not able to fit into one seat and also being cautious about sitting on other peoples furniture and making sure what weight it holds first before sitting.

My Offensive Comments Collection part 2

Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

I am back and have abandoned this section. I have offended some more people online:

Someone posts about their kid and this mom adopted her son and he acts like a Kevin. Ever seen Let’s Talk About Kevin, this was her post:

As the title says my son hates me. I know people are going to tell me that this is a phase but it has been going on since he was an infant. He is now going on 5. I know that the post is going to make me sound like a terrible person. There is nothing you can say that I haven’t already thought about myself.

I am a single mom by choice. I know I know. That makes me a selfish bitch but I wanted to be a mom. My son was placed with me at 4 months. I am a working mom (again I know what you’re thinking) and had to put my son in daycare. He did well at daycare but did nothing but cry at home. Nothing I did worked. Someone else would take him and he would shut up. I took more parenting classes and tried those techniques. They rarely worked.

Then he became a toddler and the behavior continued. His preschool teachers have never had complaints but he is a terror at home. For a while he was potty trained at school but not at home. He sat in time out at school but screamed at home. I followed the same routine but he would kick me and punch me if I tried to put him in time out. He would run from me at stores and in parking lots. He stopped eating dinner for a week because I wouldn’t give him hotdogs.

His behavior has started to turn more violent. He hits me a lot and doesn’t listen to a thing I say. We are working with a therapist but she doesn’t believe all of his behaviors because he doesn’t act that way in front of her. He is an angel at therapy and in school. They don’t see it. Our last two therapist didnt either. He loves guns and they tell me it is normal boy behavior but they don’t see how he plays with them. He plays differently there. He is obsessed with death and tells me to die. He knows what it means.

He is very smart. He is acamdeically ahead but socially behind. He can talk to kids but prefers to be alone. At home he doesn’t let me play with him. I hear stories of kids who don’t let their parents be alone and I wish that was us. He doesn’t care that I’m even here. He rarely lets me hug or kiss him. He doesnt mind hugs or kisses from other family members though. I think he knows that he can manipulate people and I’m sure he hates me. I don’t know why. I know I’m not perfect but I have always tried. I’m tired of trying. I take the long way to his preschool and think about running away from all of this often. I love my son but he hates me. I don’t know what to do or how to repair our broken relationship. I get all of the blame but none of the help.

Some comments imply she is to blame for her child but this mom is trying to bond with her kid and get him to love her and according to her responses, he does not have RAD. This looks a lot like Let’s Talk About Kevin. I remember in the movie the mom tries to bond with Kevin but he pushes her away and he also refuses to potty train. He acts normal with everyone else but his mother. The more she tries, the worst he gets and then at the end, she doesn’t try anymore and guess what, she finally gets what she always wanted. So all she had to do for all these years was not try and bond with him. But was it her fault? No because she was doing what most moms do and they try everything to to get their kid’s attention and to love them and to bond and she did try to raise concerns but no one would believe her so the mom would blame herself and question herself, talk about gas lighting everyone was giving the mother. Taking him to a psychiatrist would have been useless because they would have seen a normal child and the mom would have come off as someone who is trying to get her kid labeled.

So I said in my comment:

You got a Kevin. Maybe try not bonding with him and see how that goes. If you have seen Lets Talk About Kevin, then you know what I mean. It felt like I was reading about the movie.

-12 downvotes it has as of right now.

Now last week on Valentine’s Day on Twitter, I believe someone I am following posts something fatlogi. It was a retweet and it read “Dear struggling teen, The problem is society, not your body. We see you. We’re here for you. There are entire communities who’ll love you exactly the way you are. @weightwatchers is not the answer. #wakeupweightwatchers. There was also another one I saw in the comments when I looked at the thread and it read “Teens, the problem is not your body pr the way you eat. The problem is society & the way it views bigger bodies. There is no wrong way to have a body. You are perfect just as you are, don’t let profit driven diet companies tell you otherwise” and it has the hashtag again and weightwatchers.

When I read those comments, I saw them as telling teens it’s okay to be obese and promoting it. I wrote “fatlogic, being too skinny and too big is unhealthy” and the person I was following asked me excuse me so I clarified what I meant. I said the tweet was promoting people to accept any body even though obesity causes medical issues and people who have lost weight have actually felt the difference in their feet and how much easier it is to go up and down the stairs. The I added in my new comment since Twitter only has limited characters that being under weight was just as bad too and explained the medical issues anorexia causes and how people have died from it. But the person did not take it well. While she clarified what the tweet meant, and she said thew tweet was actually meant, she accused me of fat shaming. All she had to do was clarify the tweet and leave it at that and it would have been the end of it. If anyone knows me, I do not like false accusations so I will get defensive and defend myself. Some people get enraged when falsely accused, I just get defensive. I told her I wasn’t fat shaming and explained I was pointing out the medical issues both obesity and anorexia face. I also asked her if she ever saw TV shows like Mr 600 Pound Life and saw how debilitating it is for them and asked if she promoted that. Instead of answering, she told me she promoted everyone accepting and loving their body and everyone but the person in that body keeping their opinions on that body to themselves and then said she was blocking me as she doesn’t accept fat shaming in her tweed. There she went accusing me again of fat shaming so she was one of those people who dismisses medical facts about obesity but doesn’t dismiss medical facts about eating disorders and anorexia. I have been checking out the fat acceptance community and I already wrote a post about it last week. But I did see posts at Tumblr and the fat people were spreading misinformation and also telling everyone how saying medical things about obesity is just a disguise to look like a health concern to fat shame. I also saw other tweets telling everyone to block anyone who fat shames and does “health concerns.” It is possible this person fell into that bullshit and now believes their conspiracies. Look, I have fat family members, my mom is fat, my in laws are fat, my husband is fat. I have relatives who are fat. They all know obesity is unhealthy and it has risks. Of course none of them are obese but my husband is considered obese but he just looks fat. He does not get offended by medical information about obesity and call it fat shaming. Even other fat people out there think this whole movement thing is bullshit and they know it’s unhealthy so they are either trying to lose weight or they don’t but they know it’s unhealthy. It’s stupid to hate them of course, it’s stupid to not treat them as human. If I hated fat people, I wouldn’t have married one and my husband was a lot bigger when we met. This person who blocked me isn’t even close to being fat or even obese. She might be overweight but she still looks normal. So why would she get offended is beyond me when I made fun of no one and didn’t judge anyone or give out any unsolicited advice on weight loss because that is just rude if I did that. It’s not like I wrote, “Attention fat people, time to put down the coke and burgers and stop eating junk food and start walking and quit eating all the time and stop being lazy slobs and get off your fat ass.” That would just be judgmental and implying all fat people eat like that and never work out and they love their soft drinks and fast food and anything processed and sugar.

Smoking is unhealthy
Skinny fat is unhealthy
Eating junk food is unhealthy
Drinking is unhealthy
Drugs are unhealthy
Being obsessed with a person is unhealthy
Addiction is unhealthy
Emotional eating is unhealthy

See what I did there? Where is the shame?

Now I was never fond of any diet programs and find them a waste of money and WeightWatchers have this point program and I am not sure how it’s supposed to work because some health foods have no points but how does that work, you can eat too much and still give yourself the same amount of calories you body uses. Then they weigh you every week and you are supposed to drop the pound and if you don’t, you are kicked out of the program if I am remembering correctly. To me that is like too much pressure and demand. Plus it costs money to join. I am too cheap to pay money to lose weight so I’d rather do it on my own, eat less and work out and drink water than calorie drinks. If this program is causing eating disorders like the modeling industry was causing, maybe they will change their way like the modeling industry has.

What is it with telling everyone to love their bodies, what about anorexics or obesity? Some anti fat acceptance fat people have explained loving your body just means you love it enough to take care of it and to make changes to be the healthy weight. Now that makes more sense and all you have to do is clarify that if I misunderstand it. They also said it means to accept any flaws or any burns or amputees your body has but not anorexia or obesity.

Now the next one I offended. I posted a thread on Wrongplanet, everyone misunderstands it because I didn’t know how to articulate it. Then when I try to clarify it and then asked if they got it now, someone took offense to it and accused me of being patronizing and wrote they don’t think they would be responding to my posts anymore.

There was another one I posted but I posted about it in my other blog and it was called weight loss is a sensitive topic
Okay is telling someone to put on weight thin shaming? Basically what I did would be called fat shaming by the fat acceptance because I gave the person weight loss advice when he complained about adult baby diapers not fitting him. They have other ridiculous things as fat shaming like weight loss or mentioning your weight loss, not wanting to be fat, and that one video I saw of these two doctors giving an autopsy to an obese body that was donated by the person who had died and that was considered fat shaming by them. See they dismiss science and the doctors did prove how unhealthy fat was and how it wraps around your organs and she did indeed died from heart disease and they showed the damage the fat has done to the liver because it had creases that was done by the body fat and they said it was doing damage to the liver and could tell by the creases. Then at the end they sewed the tummy back up and zipped the bag back up with the body. If anyone is curious about the video, her it is:

But in the comments people were focused on the doctor who was also overweight and couldn’t be focused on the body and what obesity does. I just wanted to tell everyone “who cares about his size. The video is about what obesity does to your body, not what size the doctor has.” My husband weighs more than this body. Oops did I just fat shame my own husband? Last time I checked what fat shaming is, it’s ridicule and belittling and making fun of someone for their size. I only stated a fact, not say it to make fun of him.

Why people fear what they don’t understand

Monday, February 19th, 2018

For ages and centuries, people who are different have always been treated bad. Deformed or disabled babies would be left to die out in fields, blacks have been used as slaves, Native Americans were treated as animals and non human, we had circus freak shows because we decided to turn deformed people into a display for everyone to look at. Now people still judge others who are different and still criticized something that is different or shun awkward people even though they are “normal” and judge them and single them out.

Why do these things happen?

My speculation here is we are animals. Animals fear what is different than their own species so they run away and don’t let you near them or they attack when feel threatened. That is how they protect themselves because they don’t know if you will harm them and that is how they protect themselves from danger, they stay in their own pack. Us humans are the same way because we are animals. But because we are animals, people get this irrational fear about other humans who are different and don’t act like them. So their brain sees danger and instead of running away or attacking, they judge and criticize instead and find the person weird. That is their brain telling them danger, keep away, stick with their own kind, reject.
But we are human and we can think, humans over the years have taken time to try and understand those that are different like black people or Native Americans, obesity, transgender, homosexuality, disorders, mental illnesses, deformities, diseases. because humans started to get more understanding, slavery ended, mental institutions got phased out, people quit going to freak shows so those phased out, parents started to quit putting their handicapped children in institutions, there were actually humans out there that wanted to take the time to learn and understand, other animals don’t have that cognitive ability but we do.

It is still frowned upon to want to know why people do evil things or why people believe in disturbing things like the Holocaust hoax or Hitler being a good man or obesity being a good thing, why parents abuse their children, why abusers abuse their partners, why do people dismiss abuse, why do people think rules don’t apply to them. If anyone asks why any of these things happen and why people believe in this stuff, they don’t want to know the answer because when you answer it, they think you are defending them. But when I ask, I want to know these things. Why is it in some countries getting raped is illegal and why is it the woman’s fault?

I always try to make sense of things like why do people always assume the parents are abusive when the kid is abusive and a bully? My answer to that is because kids are seen as innocent and most of the time kids have behavior because they are abused, small percentage of them have a mental illness eg. sociopath RAD, ODD, Conduct disorder, Bipolar, read that somewhere online. Also another reason is because people who say these kids are victims, they were abused themselves as children so they also had behavior and their parents played the victim and painted them as monsters and out of control kids and said they were pathological liars so the doctor would end up being manipulated by their lies so of course they would automatically side with the kid and assume the parents are lying.

I still remember at our 2002 family reunion in South Dakota, they had this drought going on in the Black Hills so they banned campfires. Well my family always had a family reunion tradition, campfires every night and they sit around it and chat and visit and even roast marshmallows. But we couldn’t do one but that didn’t stop us from doing our tradition so they would put a lantern in the middle and everyone would sit around it. They would even have it lit up and everyone would sit around it and talk. Strangers walking by would look at us and question us or even criticize us and we would tell them it’s our campfire since we can’t have one. This happened every night. People were like “WTF? What are those people doing sitting around a lantern, that isn’t normal, what is wrong with them?” My relatives kept saying to the same people it’s our campfire. Me as a 16 year old couldn’t understand why this was a big deal. It was just a lantern and we were just visiting each other and talking and that behavior is normal. But apparently sitting around a lantern is not but Dr. Phil defines normal as a behavior that does not interfere. This was one of them so this was normal. But other humans had objections do it because it was different.

If you do anything different, someone will notice and make a big deal about it. Asking is one thing but making it a big deal tells me they are intolerant to differences when the behavior is harmless. I remember back when I still lived in my apartment, I don’t think my son had been born yet but I was at a bus stop outside my work building and I was reading a newspaper. I didn’t want ink all over my hands and then get it on my face when i scratch myself there so I wore rubber gloves. This lady noticed it and asked me why I had on gloves so I told her it was so I wouldn’t get ink on my fingers and then get it all over me but instead of just accepting my answer and moving on, she started to make a big deal about it and kept questioning me about it and then repeating to herself about me wearing them and it didn’t take me long to feel annoyed by it. I already wanted her to shut up but thank goodness she was only a stranger and I wouldn’t have to deal with it long. the bus came and we both got on and she still made a big deal about it and thank god she sat in the back. Then it was all over. It felt like being in elementary school again where being different was not allowed or else kids thought you were weird and didn’t like you and you were a target for teasing. That woman was just immature because another adult would have just moved on from seeing something different.

This is the reason why kids with disabilities, transgender kids, homosexual kids are more likely to be bullied in school. They are all different and not “normal.” You have to be really different to not get harassed but if you look normal and act different, you get harassed.

We’re all animals but we are animals that can actually think and have the cognitive ability to learn and understand. Sometimes I wonder if some humans really don’t have this ability or if they are just willful.

My dieting

Sunday, February 18th, 2018

Disclaimer: I am not a fitness coach nor a nutritionist, I am just someone who reads.

I often hear from HAES and fat activists that dieting doesn’t work and they cause eating disorders.

I diet but I don’t use diet pills or use slim fast or use fitness bars, I don’t use any fad diet stuff. I am no fool, those have calories too so I know eating those is not going to help you lose weight or help maintain it. Eat too much of them, you will put it on. I also don’t fall for the “lose 20 pounds in a week” because I know that is bullshit and not healthy to lose weight that quickly. Companies like to pray on people who want to lose weight so they scam them and even food companies will mislead people too who also are trying to lose weight so they mark it as healthy or call it a fitness bar. Also don’t forget those TV dinners that claim to be lean or healthy. Calories people, and TV dinners are always unhealthy because they ate processed. Of course they would be labeled weight loss or fitness or lean or healthy because they are trying to trick you, they want to make money. I don’t bother with TV dinners or any fitness bars, or Slim Fast. All I did was eat less and had smaller portions, I didn’t start going on a diet. Well I did but you know what I mean right, I didn’t go vegan or go variegation or cut out foods from my diet. But I did cut out calorie drinks and only had it sometimes. I drank water instead.

When I lost 14 lbs, I lost weight very slowly, I let my self still eat and didn’t eat less everyday to drop the weight. I took it slowly and let it happen on its own. As of July, I weighed 127 and by October, I was down to 120. In March last year I was 134.

What exactly is dieting?

To me dieting is eating healthy, watching what you eat, eating food in moderation, eating sweets and junk food in moderation. It is also paying attention to calories so you can figure out how much you can eat or if you should pass. It is also watching what you drink and you drink calorie liquids in moderation.

Why do people gain it all back?

Diets are a permanent change in your lifestyle. It is not a temporary fix to your weight and then you go back to your old eating habits when you are satisfied at the weight you are at. It will all come piling on again when you go back to your old ways. When you lose the weight, you are eating less and watching what you eat and then the next step is to maintain the weight when you are happy at the weight you are now. You now have to add more to your diet and then once you see your weight is staying consistent, you keep that diet.

Another reason why people gain it all back, people can’t keep the change and they slip back to their old habits so their weight comes piling on again. It’s hard to keep that fitness attitude so people lose interest and they gain their weight back.

Do diets really not work?

My opinion why they don’t work, people try to eat healthy so they fall for all those weight loss scams about losing weight quickly and they buy “healthy” food and eat it not even realizing it has a lot of calories and they wonder why they are not losing any. They do not know about calorie count and lot of people underestimate how much they have. Most people do not pay attention to what they eat. Can you remember what you have had today, from morning to bedtime? What did you eat on Friday? It’s all about calories in and calories out. All you need to do is consume less calories than your body uses. It doesn’t matter how much healthy food you eat, it’s all about calories in and calories out.

Also same as my last question, people think diets are a temporary fix to weight loss. It’s not, it’s a lifestyle change. If a man stopped lifting weights, he would eventually lose his muscle mass. If I stopped working out, I would lose mine and my figure and eventually my weight would also pile back on gradually as my muscle mass decreases. Muscle uses more energy so the more you build, you higher your metabolism is. That would explain why I was losing weight while exercising and eating more food and still losing weight but very slowly. If I stopped working out, I would lose my muscle mass and I gain weight again and then the work outs have failed and how I eat.

Do diets cause eating disorders?

I looked it up online and couldn’t find any clear answers to support the claim but found these:


Dieting may not be the actual cause of eating disorders, but it’s clearly the number one cause of the onset of an eating disorder.


Claiming to be “on a diet” is a popular excuse given to cover up the presence of an eating disorder.

So do people with eating disorders call their unhealthy eating habits a diet? Do people with eating disorders create unhealthy eating habits and follow it?

The second link describes the difference between dieting and an eating disorder.

When I had an eating disorder, I did not get it from a diet. I developed unhealthy eating habits and it started out with my low self body image and not liking how it looked. The legs were too big, my butt was too big, I looked fat in the photos, my tummy is too big, my arms are too big, my thighs are huge. I did not like those at all so I tried to change it with weight loss than trying to find the right work outs to tone my body so I look good. My mom thinks I used food for control because I felt I didn’t have control over my life so I used food and it wasn’t about my body and weight. But that is her opinion. Did a diet cause me to have body image issues?

There was one autistic person who once wrote on Wrongplanet how she decided to eat healthy so she started to restrict food and do fad diets like cutting out certain foods and then only eating certain foods and before she knew it, she had become an anorexic and hadn’t realized it. It was her autism interest in health she started eating differently and instead it got her anorexia because she lost too much weight. Does that mean Autism causes eating disorders? Does OCD cause eating disorders too? Does body dysmorphia cause it too?

I don’t think rather dieting causing eating disorders or not should be an excuse to over eat or eat unhealthy but that is their business how they want to eat and how much they want to consume or what eating habits they have. My family doesn’t have the best eating habits either and I have days where I just eat lot of sugar and then it brings my weight back up to 120 again and I maintain it there with sugar. Without it, the weight just drops and I just eat more food again to keep my weight maintained in the 117-120 range. I have kept it in the 118-120 range lately since the holiday because of being around too much sweets and candy and I have a sweet tooth. But that is my own business too how I am eating. But we still make sure our kids eat healthy so we buy fruits and yogurt. The rest is just processed or meat products or bread products or pasta or fruit snacks or some sweets and chips. My mom buys healthier because she cooks it while my husband buys things he can cook quickly because of his feet and I don’t know how to cook. I say I try to eat healthy and I don’t like to buy sweets often or else I will just eat it and it will be the first thing I eat when hungry or when it’s breakfast or lunch time. I call that my diet. I know I have a sweet tooth and know how tempting it would be so I just don’t buy it because I know my limits. My husband will buy it and hide it and I don’t know about it. He doesn’t want to not buy it because of my lack of willpower so he hides it because he is being supportive about my weight and diet.

This girl explains why diets fail and it’s fad diets that don’t work:

Jump to 9:31.

Why I don’t like All shapes and sizes acceptance movements

Thursday, February 15th, 2018

This is a post about why I don’t like all shapes and sizes body acceptance movements.

1) They abandon you when you decide to lose some weight because you were tired of not finding clothes in your size or not fitting into all seats or getting achy joints or having troubles going up or down the stairs or getting tired moving around and your legs rubbing together when you walk.

2) They only care about eating disorders and people being so anorexic they are damaging their bodies and being hospitalized for it but they don’t care about obesity diseases. I wonder if they even care if someone is binging on food and doing comfort eating or has an eating addiction?

3) While they may work out and eat healthy, they still frown upon thinnies who do the same and call it fat shaming.

4) They gloss over the affects of obesity disease and don’t care if being anorexic is also unhealthy when you say “being too big and too skinny is unhealthy.” They will block you for that.

5) They think you are fat shaming just because you don’t want to be fat and think you don’t accept your body or because you feel fat or see yourself as fat

6) They think any diet is bad but yet they are eating healthy or sticking to lean products and eating sweets in moderation, that is a diet my friend

7) They dismiss health facts as fat shaming and will also block you for it

8) They hate TV shows out there like My 600 LB Life to show reality of what it’s like to be morbid obese and how debilitating that it and see it as fat shaming and they don’t care how much it affects that person on the show

9) They see any comments out there as fat shaming even though the definition of it says:

the action or practice of humiliating someone judged to be fat or overweight by making mocking or critical comments about their size.
“the star endured fat shaming and cyberbullying for the weight she gained while pregnant”
expressing mockery or criticism about someone judged to be fat or overweight.
“she refuses to resort to extreme dieting because of fat-shaming bullies”

They see fat shaming everywhere when it’s not even there. See 3, 4, 5, 7, and 8

10) They try to delude other people to believe they can never change their body and this is just who they are and get them to not take care of themselves and try and make them give up. Hey if they want to make changes to themselves, let them. None of your business.

11) They see overweight people as trying to get rid of overweight people when they lose weight and work at it.

12) They make it be about them

13) They feel threatened when a healthy person decides to lose some weight to look better but yet they don’t feel threatened when a healthy person decides to put one some weight. See 1, they abandon you when you do lose some weight despite having none of those things.

14) They dismiss thin shaming just because they still get thin privileges and don’t see it as the same.

15) The hypocrisy. See 2, 3, 6, and 13.

16) They seem to have something against people being thin (not talking about anorexia here)

17) They play the feelings police, see 5. They think they can dictate how you should feel about yourself or else you are “fat shaming.” Body image issues are real and they make it be all about them, see 12. It doesn’t matter how someone feels about themselves, just because they don’t want to be fat doesn’t mean they view you less as a person just because you are bigger than them or smaller or have a different body shape or size than they do. This is what I mean by they make it be all about them.

18) They dismiss thin struggles eg. not finding clothes that fit just because see 14.

19) They think all diets lead to eating disorders. No they do not. Anorexia is a disease. People do not get anorexia from dieting, they get it because they got that disease so they do unhealthy things. Anorexia is not a diet, it’s a disease. There is such thing as an unhealthy diet and that is common in anorexia. See 6, eating healthy is a diet. Eating snacks in moderation and sweets is a diet. But it’s a healthy one.

If you are a body positive person and also part of the “All Bodies comes in shapes and sizes” movement and the list above doesn’t fit you and you agree with what I have written, let me know because I would love to hear not every all shapes and sizes acceptance person is like this. I still have yet to find you guys.

I do agree that everyone is different and have different body types and it doesn’t matter if you wear a size 6 or a size 10 or a size 16 but I will never join this movement because of how toxic it is and do not wish to be part of any of this nor be lumped with this group.

I do not dismiss science or health facts nor do I promote obesity and anorexia. I do not promote fat shaming and shaming people for their bodies and making fun of them or throwing stuff at them or laughing at them if they fall or can’t fit into a seat or if they are having troubles getting up, etc. not cool. I also do not promote feeders or parents letting their kids get overweight and teaching them to be obese. Instead I promote teaching them to eat in moderation and not eat for comfort or boredom and teaching them to eat healthy. I tell my kids too much of anything is bad; food, water, exercise, body fat, and too little of anything is bad and the list repeats. Body Acceptance Movements do not care about this and they see anything in between as a threat. See 4.

Any rude or hostile comments will be ignored and not approved but I will welcome any comments even if you don’t agree because I welcome different perspectives and different views even if I don’t agree. 🙂

My first audition

Tuesday, February 6th, 2018

On January 27th I went to my first audition. I was nervous and the main person of the theater talked like MichaelAngelo. Other actors showed up and their ages were all over. I overheard a young guy say he was on a short film. I then knew he was an actor and has more training than me. There were lot of auditions and it was a cold read.I watched others auditions and I did too and had lot of fun. I did as many auditions as I could and we heard from the directors we are all good. I asked if I was good and they said I was. That is a comment I want to hear.

Then at the end they all got together and looked at our forms we filled out and they spent all evening picking roles and I got an email and was told I didn’t fit any if the roles but told me I was very friendly and looked easy to work with. That is something I want to hear and I got told theory next audition will be in May. I may not have gotten a part but I still got to experience an audition and practice and watch other actors and see their crafts so I get an idea what else I can do for acting. And I also got good feedback. You would not want to hear you are unfriendly, hard to work with, can’t accept critcism, think you know more than the casting directors and other actors when you are new to the business. No one likes know it all and arrogants. You certainly don’t want to be told you are temperamental or defensive or arguementative.

“Why don’t they cast autistic actors.”

Monday, January 29th, 2018

This question got asked on r/Asperger’s regarding The Good Doctor. Every time they do a TV show about an autistic character, they always cast a neurotypical to portray the autistic person.

That person got responses like there are more NT actors out there than there are with autistic actors and others said autistic people wouldn’t be able to be actors because of poor social skills.

After studying acting and taking classes, I have learned things about it. First of all acting is not just learning lines. Also actors have to use theory of mind and imagine how the character they are playing is thinking and feeling and what their motive is. Autistic people have difficulty with this.

You also need flexibility, you can get a call for a call back so that means drop what you are doing and go in and do the audition again. It is unexpected. Autistic people have troubles with sudden change and interruptions. Also being on the set, you have no idea when you will go home or when you will be done with the scene. You could be on it for 15 hours and still haven’t gone home yet. It’s unpredictable. Autistic people have troubles with uncertainty and their routines being messed up and different.

Good attitude, yes you basically need good social skills to handle conflicts and difficult people and not react to how they are treating you and the unfairness they are giving you. It can reflect badly on you if you react badly and destroy your acting career because then casting directors wouldn’t want to cast you. yes the word spreads in the industry.

Are there aspie actors out there, of course but there are far more normie actors out there than there are with autistic actors. I am guessing they handle all these things or otherwise they wouldn’t be in the industry.

Also how casting works is casting directors look for actors who they feel fit the role. If an autistic person doesn’t fit the role of another autistic person, they won’t cast them. Also they use professional actors, they are not just going to do an open call for all autistic people in the area to portray an autistic character because they want professionals. No one is going to cast a beginner actor with no acting experience in a lead role for a movie or a co star role or even a guest star. The business doesn’t work that way. It takes about ten years to get that far in the industry after you begin acting according to Wendy Alane Wright. I am sure that depends on how serious you take it and how hard you work.

Kids that star in TV shows usually started acting in commercials in their toddler years or they started taking acting classes at a theater at a young age and did some plays there before going to film.

I have learned that things we read in the media about actors don’t tell the whole story because they always make it look like there is this one normal kid and bam he just got a role in a feature film as the star. No it didn’t happen like that. Or when someone gets discovered and they begin acting, we don’t hear that they took acting classes or workshops. Only time this ever happens is if you are a baby. They are cute, they don’t need to act. They just use them for film. For small children, they don’t really need to craft, they are just cute. Then to maintain their acting career, they take classes and do training to keep on doing it and to keep being casted. As you get older, more gets expected out of you in the business. For kid auditions, all they need to do is answer questions you give them like their name and date of birth and about their general life and you send it in. For kids to start acting, all they need to do is recite a commercial and the parent mails it to a talent agent and if they liked how the kid recited it, they represent them. But that doesn’t work that way for 18 and up. I think it’s easier for a kid to start acting than it is for an adult. You don’t just go in and say “I am Beth and I have always wanted to be an actress so i would like to be in a movie please.” No, they would just see me as a wannabe actor and send me away politely. I would be seen as an amateur. If I want to act, go take classes, (Wendy says go to theater school) go to workshops, go practice, do plays and community plays, do indie and student films, study. Wannabe actors want to do none of that, they just want to go in and just be handed a part and then bam they do their lines and act, it doesn’t work that way. That is what actors call being lazy. Wendy compares that to walking into a hospital and saying “Hi I have always wanted to be a doctor, what floor can I work on to be a doctor, can you put me to work now?” and they had no training in being a doctor and never studied it. Only time you can be on film with no acting experience is being a background actor but guess what, that gives you no acting experience and it won’t help you become an actor. You’re just treated like cattle and not considered part of the group like actors are. you’re just there and then you are shuffled away and put in some room until they need you again. You are not allowed to interact with the actors or any of the crew people. Though i have heard of stories about actors interacting with background actors like Rosie O Donnell kept the extras entertained between filming on A League of Their own set with puppet shows and stuff she did so they wouldn’t leave and the crew decided to just pay the extras so they wouldn’t leave because it was so hot out. I just read online extras are not allowed to ever leave the set but these people could for A league of Their Own production? I guess every company is different. The one here that casts people for extras is very strict and does not allow it or else the charge you $100 and deactivate your profile. I am not sure if that means they delete you and put you on their blacklist.

It’s rare to just sit back and not be doing anything when you get discovered by a casting agent or a talent agent and you just happened to be at the right place at the right time. I read you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than this happening. Most actors have to do the work themselves. But back in the days it used to be if you wanted to be on film, all you had to do was go to the agency and they would sign you in and do a contract and they would cast you and give you training, they don’t do that anymore. If you look at old film from the 1930’s and 1940s and 1950’s, you will see how different acting was then, look at how they craft and express themselves and how they express fear and anger. Now today that would be considered bad acting and not be used for film. It wasn’t serious then is why. It was the same with singing too, you want to be a singer, just go in to the talent person and they will put you right to singing. Now you have to do your own work.

So that is why autistic people do not get casted for autistic characters. it doesn’t work that way. Is it possible to get casted as an autistic person for an autistic character, yes it is because it’s happened before.

Refund hassle

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2018

It has been a while since my last post. Last month I bought 9 Shopkins Kinstruction sets from Toysrus on ebay. It said it had been shipped so I wait for them to come. Knowing toysrus, they are slow with shipping and I never hear a doorbell or knocking from delivery men. But around the 14th, I check the tracking and it says they have already been shipped and few of them said they went to a nonexistent location with a Vancouver, WA zipcode. The others say they were delivered to my home but I never saw any packages and I checked my front door every day when leaving for work. I think they got stolen with my gift exchange package. I only received two of my Shopkin sets from ebay. I did file a dispute on ebay for all seven items and I called them and they said they would reship the items. A week goes by and I call them again and they say the items were out of stock so a refund had been issued and it would take 5-10 business days.

So I wait and today comes and it’s been that long and still no refund. I am not paying 35 bucks for items I never received. It was 42 total. Not even. Plus when toysrus did respond to my open dispute they said they had issued a refund and I would received an email 2-3 business days for my refund, that never happened so why would I call them again to say I still haven’t received my refund? I was sick of their bullshit so I decided to have ebay step in thinking they handled it like paypal. So I have them step in and guess what, they closed the cases because all they did was looked at my item transactions and looked at the shipping and they closed it without even talking to me about it first.

So next step is paypal resolution. I go there to file a dispute there to get my refund but they make it so complicated because they changed it. I look up the paypal number and call them. I did try to call ebay first but but voice menu and I couldn’t get to a person. But I call paypal and give them some information and they transfer me to ebay and this time a real person picked up the phone than their robo. I give the lady some information and I felt like I was being gaslighted. She said my items were not showing up or my claims so I tell her some of the claim numbers and I told her I have talked to toysrus and they said they would reship the items. I call them a week later for tracking and they said a refund had been issued and it would be 5-10 business days. I waited that long and nothing.

Then she finally saw the items and told me they couldn’t be held responsible because it shows they have been shipped to my address and were delivered and told me I need to call the shipping company. I tried to tell her they shipped the items individually because that is what they always do. I also told her some of the tracking numbers say they went to a nonexistant location and told her the fictional town it said. I couldn’t find those items again on my ebay page but the ones I never opened a case with. Finally I find it but their layout and them changing their website made it all confusing.

She did tell me for a one time thing and for courtesy they are refunding me and I decided next time I will write down the tracking numbers and complain to them if it says it has been delivered and since this was the first time, this is just a courtesy.

Ebay told me it would be 24-48 hours for it to process and it it showing up on my paypal account but the balance is still showing on my paypal credit balance. Hopefully that balance will go down once the transaction completes and if not I decide I will call paypal and tell them and see if they will take it off because eve if I did pay that balance, I still am paying for the items I never got and that refund was nothing so it would be ebay basically paid for it for me and I still never got my money back.

I did leave negative feedback for one of the items and I was going to leave more later but the feedback got removed because it said I did receive item. I wonder how others were abale to leave negative feedback as well. They did say this was a rare thing for me when i talked to them and I said I am not someone who just makes bogus claims to get free stuff because look at my feedback, I have left positive feedback for others and never opened any claims. They said they reversed it but I am not going to bother with negative feedback since they say they are not reliable. I just won’t use online toysrus again. They are very unprofessional, poor communication, broken promises, and if this is what they do on ebay, I won’t trust their retail site either. With their stores, you just go in and buy your item and you have it.

Now I am kind of worried about using ebay again and having the same problem again with another seller. I know people have complained about it and never used it again because of a buyer who scammed them and ebay taking their side and this time ebay took toysrus side just because they had a tracking number for my items.

Actually this wasn’t the first time. I once bought a game and it was damaged and I contacted the seller and no response. I couldn’t figure out how to contact ebay so I filed a dispute with paypal and the seller responded but I didn’t know I had to have paypal step in so the case closed saying it couldn’t be resolved so I let it go and ten dollars I lost. It was only ten so I let it go and decided I won’t buy from sellers with 0 feedback. I also couldn’t leave negative feedback because I couldn’t find the item due to the seller deleting it.

Also maybe I shouldn’t purchase anything online during the holiday season and if I do, use a local fedex office or ups office and stuff and use amazon lockers or request a signature from the seller. So several lessons here I have learned. Ebay determined the items were stolen during delivery.

Good thing for my good feedback and buying stuff on it a lot when I was younger and my honesty.

My husband was scanned on it once and he also didn’t do anything but he had buyer protection and only got some money back and he saw it as better than nothing. I told him he should only buy from sellers with feedback. There are people out there that suck. Also perhaps ebay toysrus should offer store pick up on their items or do signature requests or put it to where you have to go to the post office and pick up your package to ensure you get it. I also put a note on my door saying to leave packages at the back door on the patio and to not leave any packages here.

I think if you have a good reputation and a good history, you should be given the benefit of the doubt. If you have bad luck, then it looks bad. Maybe people out there who complain about companies not refunding them when their packages are stolen and stuff, maybe they have a bad reputation or a history. I find it hard to believe Best Buy or other websites wouldn’t replace items or refund if stolen because they are professional. I have heard stories like someone had work told a story about her friend who bought a DVD for $5 at Wal Mart. It didn’t have a disc in it so she took it back and they wouldn’t believe her. Since it was only five bucks, I didn’t find it a big deal and it’s rare so her friend bought the same movie again for the same price and it did have a disc in it.

My dad once bought me a CD for my birthday and it had the wrong disc in it, he was able to exchange it for the same disc. We had a better experience and they believed us. Well ask for the manager if you are not happy with their service, call the corporation if the manager does nothing but I suspect this friend decided to let this all go because it was only $5. Sometimes you pick your battles and it was a hassle to get my money back and figuring this all out and being gaslighted and having to find proof to show I am being honest about my items by giving out case numbers. I knew I wasn’t crazy because I could see them on the screen and I know I bought those items. They were very sorry this all happened and this was rare.

But if my paypal credit doesn’t go down after my refund is processed, I will call paypal next and see if they will take it off and they had determined the items were stolen during delivery. If they want me to call Fed Ex and On Trac I will but I will tell them that balance will still be on my account even if the shipping companies did refund me also.

But I don’t want to get multiple refunds for the same items. I just don’t want to pay for something I never got. But put it this way, if I got multiple refunds because they wanted me to be happy with their service I would still have my money I was refunded and I would then let this all go and pay the bill just as long as I will still have my 35 bucks.

My son said something intellectual

Tuesday, November 28th, 2017

I picked my son up from school and we were listening to the Rugrats Christmas album. He asks me about what was it like when Tommy had no friends. I tell him there was never a time when he didn’t have any. He asks me about his age and when they first met and his birthday. I tell him Tommy turned one in the very first episode and all the other babies were there and Angelica and she always wore diapers over her pants. I never underdtood it but she doesn’t wear them anymore in the later seasons starting with the second one. She also has a birthday in the later seasons around season 3 and she turned three so that would have made her two and a half in the early seasons. But I never understoid diaper over her pants part and everyobe always said it was underwear. No it wasn’t because it was a diaper.

Now here is the good part, my son tells me diapers are a type of underwear. I play dumb and ask him “Who told you that?” And he said he just knows. I say I didn’t know that and he told me babies wear underwear but that is their underwear.