Archive for the ‘politically incorrect’ Category

500 Miles Parody song

Thursday, January 12th, 2017

This was one of my favorite songs when my favorite movie was Benny & Joon and I also love parody songs and I found a song that does a parody of it.

I found another but this time it’s a Minecraft version

The laughing is really distracting in this

Pokemon Go version

Hitler version the politically incorrect one

Another Pokemon Go version

And there are many others on youtube.


My husband is also protesting

Monday, November 14th, 2016

But he is only doing it online. He has been posting anti Trump links on his Facebook and posting campaigns for people to sign and writing to senators about his concerns about Trump and our country. My husband has never been this scared so he has been having anxiety about it. He is even getting into discussions about it online on Facebook with the senators and with other people who are Trump supporters.

Also I read that the protesters say they will keep this up for the next four years as long as he in in office. He isn’t in office yet but they don’t want him to be in office.

My husband has never been involved in politics until now and since people say they will keep this up for fours years, this tells me this is definitely not a tantrum and the fact my husband has never done this before also tells me. People are scared for their country and for themselves. But seriously I bet if many people would have voted for a president Clinton might have won to keep Trump out. I voted for Clinton to try and keep out Trump. But if Bernie were still running, I would have voted for him. But some people voted for Trump for the same reason I voted, to keep Clinton out because of the email thing. It was never clear to me if she was sexually involved with a minor or if she even knew about it except for her server was used for it by a guy and his wife worked for Hilary. But the majority did not vote for either president. My niece didn’t either so she put down Sanders.

But my question for the protesters are if they are neither Trump or Clinton supporters, who are they expecting to be president? If Trump doesn’t get it after all, then it goes to Clinton or would it go to Mike Pence? Do they want either of these people in office?

Autistic people are “normal.”

Sunday, November 13th, 2016

Someone posted an article online on a forum and I really want to post my opinion about it but I am afraid it will be controversial and offensive so I will say it here instead.

The link here:

My comment about it:

But then that means we are “normal” and we are only labeled because of people and the world not being made for us.

The Difficult Child really explains it and Stanley Turecki explained in his book that the difference between a difficult child and a kid with a disorder is with the difficult child, the symptoms are gone when the kid is in the right environment and being given the right parenting but with a kid who has a disorder, no matter what you change for them and if they are in the right environment, the symptoms would still be there. I checked his website and he believes someone can be eccentric and have poor social skills and not have AS so that makes me wonder how many people would he undiagnose with autism and say you are fine but you are just quirky or you are fine but just have a different brain wiring but you’re still “normal” just find the right environment and the right partner, etc. My mother read this book when I was a kid and I now understand her perspective and what she means by I am normal and there is nothing wrong with me and people with real Asperger’s are more limited and I am not autistic or Asperger’s. I’m me. She says I can do anything but I know she doesn’t mean it literally. No one can do anything or else we’ll all be going into space or be mathematicians. But the only thing that keeps me from “doing anything” is people who hire people and the restrictions they put down to qualify and who they hire and the roadblocks they put out there that keeps me from getting any job I can do that requires no college education. Plus people discriminate all the time and to say it doesn’t happen because it’s illegal is very naive to believe it doesn’t happen. There are loopholes and you would have to prove it. I think my mom is a little naive about life because she doesn’t have a disability aside from arthritis and cancer but she has never had any mental disorders or a learning disability so she wouldn’t know what getting a job is like with a disability.

What would Stanley Turecki say about children who are immature and struggling with social skills but yet it’s holding them back and it’s making them outcasts and making it hard for them to fit in and be accepted and it’s giving them low self esteem? Would he still dare to say they are normal but they are just difficult? How can they not have a disorder if it’s affecting them? The parents cannot force the schools to do things their kid’s way that suits their needs if they have no diagnoses and parents don’t have control over how other kids will treat their child and they can’t force kids to accept their child nor can they control how the schools will treat their child unless they have a diagnoses. Are there kids out there who get diagnosed when in fact they are just “normal” but just are very difficult or just have a different learning style? Yes because it does happen.

But I still find that confusing because how can it not be a disorder for some kids? Does that mean not all of us have real autism and we are only diagnosed as being autistic because of society? Some individuals with it feel autism is just a fancy way of saying someone is weird and awkward and processes the world differently as if they don’t think their condition is real but yet they will still admit to having autism.

This man sure feels this way about his autism:

“I’m autistic, which is a posh way of saying I have a different way of thinking and perceiving the world.”

It doesn’t have to be intentional for it to be abuse

Sunday, November 13th, 2016

This is controversial because many people will disagree that abuse can be unintentional. I have talked about before in this blog how I can see myself doing financial abuse due to my money anxiety so that was why my husband took over the finances. I was driving him crazy with my anxiety about money he felt he couldn’t live a life because I would freak out if I found out he had spent a dollar and I was already talking about taking away his cards so I wouldn’t have to worry about him spending any money and having anxiety. This wasn’t about control, it was about my comfort zone and to relieve my anxiety to make my life calmer and to feel in control of my life again because of the unknown and my husband wasn’t supporting that. This is an example of unintentional abuse and how a mental illness or a disorder can attribute to abuse.

What about a parent who isn’t aware their kid has a disability because they look normal and seem normal. Asperger’s is a hidden disorder and so is ADHD and anxiety and other things that makes the kid act different. So what if the parent was unaware their kid had anxiety so they were always getting mad at them for their fears and over reaction and calling them a baby and forcing them into situations they feel uncomfortable in. At age six I was forced to ride on a big ferris wheel and my mom and dad didn’t care about my fear of it and the reason why I was scared was because I was worried it would give me this feeling in my stomach that some rides give you and I didn’t like that feeling and I had been on a ferris wheel that gave me that feeling so I felt too nervous to ride on one again that went too high up. Lot of people will agree that it is cruel to scare your child but that is what my parents did to me, they scared me and forced me into something I feared and got mad at me for crying and for being scared and didn’t give rats ass. I would call this unintentional abuse. I don’t think they did it to be cruel. Most people are not afraid of ferris wheels so how were they supposed to know my fear was real? They were ignorant then. My dad is still ignorant about my anxiety. I don’t fear ferris wheels anymore. Back then being forced on it was like walking the green mile or walking to the torture device because you know what is going to happen and you don’t know what is going to happen like how much pain you will feel, if it will hurt or not. That was how I felt going on that ride. I didn’t know how bad it would be, how much it will be scary and how bad the feeling in my tummy would be when we go down. I realize I probably did have anxiety as a young child but it wasn’t prominent then so no one knew. Instead I would be told to stop or being called a baby so therefore my feelings would be invalidated and I did feel then as a young child that my mom didn’t care about me. I just assumed then she knew because I didn’t know my feelings were not normal and my mom had assumed my feelings were normal but was over reacting or just whining. Ironically my mom is against people scaring kids and breaking them by making them fear you so they will listen but yet she did the exact same thing  to me when I was a kid. Then the time I didn’t have anxiety about being dumped on the side of the road because I figured I would just hitchhike home, my mom was mad because I didn’t have beg her to not leave me on the side of the road. Yes that is fear right there you are doing to your kids and you say it’s not good to scare your children?

Then there is ADHD. I can’t count how many times I have read online by people who grew up with undiagnosed ADD or ADHD, they always got in trouble for losing things and always got in trouble for not being able to sit still or pay attention or for forgetting things, etc. It was as if they were abused. I would call their abuse unintentional because no one was aware of their ADD then. I can’t imagine how hard their life must have been the the anxiety they must have had growing up and the low self esteem.

But because abuse implies intent, people will say they were not abused or say someone they know isn’t abusive because they know their partner or child doesn’t do it on purpose. Then of course when someone has a mental illness, their victims may still call them abusive and say their actions are intentional.

What about those who suffer from NPD or BPD, they tend to lack self awareness. They may not see themselves as being abusive. I noticed on the forum on Reddit by BPD victims that the borderliners tend to rewrite history so they have “amnesia” about their abuse they did to their child or partner. Jerry seemed to have rewritten hers when she said she did none of that stuff I said she did except for “taking too long” to give me back my Dish Network piece. Also people with BPD don’t realize they are being manipulative and may not see their behavior as manipulative because to their perspective they are just trying to get their needs met like everyone else. But that never matters to the victim. It only matters what the borderliner is doing, not their intention behind it.

Then there are people who have NPD and they also seem to lack awareness of their own behavior so to me it seems like their behavior is unintentional if they are unaware which is why it’s probably a disorder, an illness. Many people disagree that personality disorders are a mental illness and want to keep these separated from mental illnesses. But the truth is mental illness is also a spectrum. It can range from evil to none evil. Maybe people like to separate personality disorders from a mental illness because they don’t want the stigma on mental illness.

In a way I do feel sorry for those who have NPD and BPD because they are their own worst enemies and they didn’t choose to be that way and I can’t imagine having those disorders and hurting people and not even being aware and seeing myself as the victim. I cannot imagine having a disorder only to find out my own emotions are wrong and my feelings are wrong and not knowing when they are valid and not being entitled to them. We often hear that everyone is entitled to their feelings and that people should trust their gut instinct but that doesn’t seem to apply to those who have BPD. That only applies to “normal” people. Most stuff we read out there is aimed at normal people assuming whoever is reading it is “normal.”

I have anxiety but stuff I find online about what to do about yelling at your kids, none of the advice I read is helpful because it’s all about staying calm and stuff but what do you do if your kids are the ones giving you anxiety and you can’t be calm unless your kids stop? There is no parenting articles out there aimed at parents with autism or anxiety about yelling at your kids. And too much yelling is abuse so that would mean I am doing unintentional abuse.

Because abuse often implies intent and also has a bad stigma to it, no one wants to see themselves as an abuser even if their actions are abusive. Even the loved one doesn’t want to see their child or partner as abusive especially if they have trauma or a disorder or came from an abusive background themselves where they grew up around anger and abuse or neglect. I didn’t want to see Jerry as an abuser when I was with her so I always defended her and made excuses for her like she has anxiety, she is worried about what people might think of her, she has PTSD, she has AS so she is just being honest, her ex called her a pedophile so now she ignores me if I am not acting mature enough for her. But all that did was it hurt me and I let that all happen instead of sticking up for myself and now I have myself to blame. So that is why I will never ever let anyone abuse me again and no disorder or mental illness will change that and only their actions and how they treat me matter, not their intentions and I don’t care what their intentions are or if it’s on purpose or not. I need to care about my own mental health and protect myself from any abuse. I also need to stay away from anyone who is abusive. I still get triggers to this day from certain things I read when something reminds me of Jerry. I even had to block someone on a forum when she made a trigger post and what she was writing were similar feelings to what Jerry had so I took a great dislike to her and blocked her because she was triggering. But I wasn’t the only one who had blocked her because she had left that forum and I saw her posting elsewhere online saying she was ignored because people didn’t agree with her views. Her views? Is she shitting me, she was a bigot on ABDLs and then pulling the “I still love you” crap like Barney. Ugh.

Now here is an article that talks about unintentional abuse but it’s about parents doing it:

Understanding Unintentional Abuse



Rush Limbaugh

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

My parents hate this person. I had never heard of him but I knew my dad liked listening to some guy on the radio and cussing at it and telling me what a jerk that guy is. I would always ask him “Why do you listen to him then?” and he would always answer “To see what more bullshit he says.”

So my mom and I were going to IKEA one time to return some stuff and then go to Ross and I bring this up and she tells me it’s Rush Limbaugh. None of them like him and she told me how upset my father always gets and then he gets short tempered and snaps at my mother because he is mad at the guy on the radio. Then she can’t even talk to him because he shushes her so he could hear him. My mom told him “Turn it off now, he is making you upset.” She also told me how she now refuses to be in the car with him if he will have that on. I asked my mother if my dad liked being upset or something because why else would he listen to him only to get upset and she told me she knows and she always tells him “why are you listening to this asshole, turn it off, you get upset and then you snap at me and are very irritable for the rest of the day.”

Mom told me many radio stations have dropped this person because they were losing their sponsers due to people boycotting their products. Then she explained to me how it all worked and how the stores were supporting him and the radio stations.

I also asked her for examples of things he has said that made him a jerk so she told me one of them. “We need to get rid of birth control because women should keep their legs closed. birth control makes them have sex.” Then she told me what a double standard it was. I told her I do have that same opinion too but I think that for both men and women so no double standard there. I think if they don’t want a baby, they shouldn’t have sex and if they do have a child, they are responsible for it if they choose to have sex. My mom then says how everyone should have the right to express love. Wait a minute, I thought she told me one time that people shouldn’t have sex if they can’t afford more kids and it’s the way it is sometimes. She does contradict herself. But she said how everyone had a right to sex and I said I guess it’s something I might never understand because I can live without sex and don’t need it and then I asked if Rush was asexual. My mom said he has had four wives. I said well we probably both know why they are his ex’s and my mom said ‘exactly he is a jerk and that is why they are his ex.” With his attitude about women, it’s no wonder they’re his ex’s.

Googling Rush Limbaugh for offensive things he has said I found several:

Hateful Misogynist Rush Limbaugh Tells Men That Women Mean Yes When They Say No

Article about his show going down:

He is entitled to his opinions and I don’t care what he really thinks. Just don’t listen to his talk show if he offends you so much and upsets you so much it ruins your day like it does for my father.



Everyone is “normal”

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

My parents were talking this morning about officers shooting people. Then my dad left and I started making comments about it saying what person has been shot. A deaf man was shot because he was signing, a caregiver was shot when they meant to shoot the autistic person because he was playing with a toy truck in the middle of the street and it traumatized the autistic man and luckily the caregiver lived, a six year old boy was shot in the car, a 12 year old boy was shot because he was playing with a toy gun so someone called them so when he reached in his pocket he got shot and his sister was in the park with him when it happened but she wasn’t with him but she was in the same location, now this man’s car had broken down so he called for help and he was in the middle of the intersection. A cop pulls up and gets out and the man realized he wasn’t there to help him so he backs away slowly with his hand up and the officer lady is shouting “show me your hand” and the guy keeps backing away with his hand up. She shot him and there were already a bunch of police cars around by then so she had no reason to shoot and the man was unarmed.

The majority of these people were black and the deaf person was white. My mom told me most people who are shot are black. I told her about the statistic I saw online about who is shot by officers and it showed most of them were white. She told me statistics can be scewed and if that were true, it would be all over the news. She told me yes more white people have been shot but most of them were doing a crime and most of these black people who have been shot have been all innocent and not committing any crime. So she gives me an example, 500 whites have been shot while not committing a crime, how many blacks that have been shot who were not commuting a crime, 1,000. How many whites have been shot while committing a crime, 1,000. How many blacks have been shot while committing a crime, 500. So I realized people can do statistics and scew them and show it to make you change your argument and your opinion. I had started to think people were being paranoid about this being a racist issue. Then I asked her how can you tell what statistics are scewed and she told me it would be all over the news. I told her the news tends to be bias like every time they show about terrorist attacks, it’s always done by a Muslim working with ISIS. My mom told me that part is true but not all Muslims work for them and join them. I told her but they are only showing Muslims working with them, not any whites. She told me it is true that ISIS is doing all these things but it doesn’t mean all Muslims are joining ISIS and doing this stuff. I told her people use that to justify their racism on Muslims and she said people will always do that. While a fact may be true, it’s what people do with that fact. She used an example about Las Vegas. There are women there who are prostitutes. Does that mean all women are prostitutes? No. I told my mother how that is called a confirmation bias because because will use it to say everyone is that way. Then somehow the topic moves onto religion because my mom uses Christianity as an example. How the bible is being rewritten and how some people can’t make their own choices and decision. I told her I never want to be told how to live my life, I like to be free.

Mom tells me not everyone can do that. People may get up and go to work and come home and eat but they want more than that, they need guidance so they use religion. Not everyone is capable of making their own choices. They need a leader. I told her that sounded like a disability because it sounded like an impairment. Mom told me it wasn’t one. I told her they can’t even make their own choices and she told me they can still function on day to day life.

Okay to me not being able to make your own choices and be your own leader doesn’t sound functional to me. Mom told me everyone has a leader, that is why we have leaders of the pack, bosses, teachers, the government or else it would all be chaos. I am starting to understand why religion is accommodated and treated as a disability. Mom told me an impairment is when you can’t function day to day basis.

But here is the confusing part. People with dyslexia can function day to day, people with specific learning disorders can function day to day but it’s still an impairment. What about Temple Grandin and John Robison? They all function day to day basis.

I remember being told as a kid how normal I am. I didn’t think I was normal because I was different. I wasn’t like the other kids. But one day when I was 15, I was in the resource room and we were shown photos of kids working for the Vocational Rehab for teens with disabilities to help them train to be independent and have a job. These all looked like normal kids so I made the remark, “They look normal” and the teacher said “that is because they are normal people.”

I learned that day that you can have a disability and still be considered normal. It wasn’t just me that is normal, everyone else with disabilities were normal too. That would mean the kids in the resource room were also normal. I even started to see this one girl with Down’s syndrome as normal. She didn’t like the sea food joke because she thought it was gross and didn’t like me opening my mouth after asking kids at the table if they like sea food. Yes she had normal feelings because she is a human duh. Having DS doesn’t make them not have normal feelings and she had a mind of a small child under age five. I started to see myself as normal and when I would say “I feel normal” my mom would go “you are normal.”

So I learn after a while my mom views everyone as normal because what is normal? She used to tell me if normal meant not having any problems and not having any medical conditions or any disabilities, there wouldn’t be any normal people in the world. But then she contradicts herself, she said Frankie wasn’t normal, she said Jayden wasn’t normal. Okay whatever happened to “what’s normal” and “everybody’s got problems”? Frankie had behavior and Jayden according to my mother couldn’t even function because he couldn’t interact with people. But he interacted with me just fine and he interacted with his friends fine. I saw him and Frankie as normal. It was drilled into my head about the word normal. Was Ted Bundy normal? Was he functional? He could function day to day life but he liked killing people. To me that is not normal and that doesn’t make him normal. Someone can act normal but it doesn’t mean they are normal. But I saw he could be a normal person because of the way he acted and functioned but just don’t kill people. But where do we draw the line for normal and impairment? People in wheelchairs can function day to day life but yet they would still have a disability, they would still have an impairment.

This is all confusing. From my understanding, a diagnoses is only made if there is an impairment and the person has troubles functioning day to day life. But yet there are people out there who have a diagnoses, I have a diagnoses. We’re functional. My husband is functional and also has several diagnoses. People out there who do have symptoms but don’t get a diagnoses but were told they have symptoms. It could mean yes they do have symptoms of a disorder but they can still function day to day life so no diagnoses is given. What about days when a person can’t function and they can function day to day but there are days they can’t function? Then what? What would this mean then for an impairment? What about when someone is stressed out and just as long as they are not stressed and they are calm and relaxed, they’re fine but when they are under stress or anxious or nervous, or have anxiety, they have an impairment? My mom still calls me normal for this but she doesn’t see Frankie or Jayden as normal. I am thinking this is mostly because I am her daughter and parents tend to be bias about their kids. She even called my son normal despite thinking he has ADHD. ADHD is a disability, it’s an impairment so hence the label. But I still see him as functional.

This post does not mean I am downplaying anyone’s experience or their struggles. I just realized this is a politically incorrect subject here regarding impairments and labels and doctors giving out a diagnoses to people just to give them the help and support they need so they can be functional because of the way society is and because of what kind of people some people are but yet they are still seen as normal. Look at the book The Difficult Child. There are other books out there like that such as Back To Normal, and Einstein syndrome Bright children who Talk late. I am sure these books would be hard to read and controversial to people who feel insecured about themselves regarding their disability. These books could be interpreted for these books are written for parents who are in denial. But it’s been clear in The Difficult Child by the author that if everything has been changed and tried for the kid and they are in the right environment and their symptoms are still there, they deserve a diagnoses. He also wrote how to tell because if your kid has a disorder or is just difficult is looking at if they had reached all their milestones, if so, you have a difficult child, of not, your kid isn’t difficult. But he also mentioned language disorders in difficult kids.  It would be interesting to read the latest version of the book to see what information he’s changed in there. I saw on his website that he believes one can be eccentric and have poor social skills and still not have Asperger’s. That makes me wonder how many people on the spectrum he would undiagnose. I am sure he would say I don’t have it.

According to comments I have read about the book, this book gets recommended to parents by pediatricians and social workers and therapists to parents who thinks their kid isn’t normal and have something wrong with them. I am sure this book was recommended to my mother by someone because she always knew I had something. But she still says she knew I had something so that implies she still thinks I am different than just normal or else she would have said “I thought you had something” and “I thought you had more going on than ADD.” I would say this book is used for to rule out disorders before you start deciding your kid has something wrong with them, it’s not about being in denial. But yet my mom still says I’m normal. :/

9/11 Jokes

Sunday, September 11th, 2016

These are jokes I found all over the web. Some people find 9/11 jokes offensive because people died in it. But I wasn’t the only one who made jokes about it. In fact the day it happened, people were already putting them online. The first one was What does WTC stand for? What Trade Center. Even I was already making them just about shortly after. Mine are way at the bottom.


Why is everyone posting about 9/11? It’s only two months away.

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds

Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
A: It’s a blast

Q: What is world most efficient airline?
A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15…be in your office in New York 8:48!

Q: Why were the people at the WTC so angry?

A: Because they ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were two planes!

Q: Why did Osama Bin Laden go on ready steady cook?

A: Because he wanted to make the big apple crumble


Knock knock.

Who’s there?


911 who?

You said you’d never forget


Q: What was Bin Laden’s favorite NFL team?

A: The New York Jets.

Q: What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

A: I’ll talk to you later–I have to catch a plane.


.084% of all Jenga games are played on 9/11.

Americans are so bad at League of Legends because they can’t defend the towers

“Oh really, there’s a problem with your marriage? When did that start?”
“Well I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but..”

We’d be hot enough to melt steal beams at prom cause jet fuel can’t melt steal beams (Two teens on Twitter with this joke and a picture of them holding the sign and half of the other joke in their text)

9/11 jokes are plane wrong (not sure if this was meant to be a joke or if someone did a typo in their post)

We have to wait 12 years for this to be funny. Oh it’s already been over 12 year so this is funny now.



My own 9/11 jokes:

Every since 9/11 had happened, more people have turned into Rain Man

We are now back in time because of no more World Trade Centers

Every time I have to destroy the World Trade Centers in the N64 game of Rampage, I am always doing 9/11 and people are jumping out of the windows

People jumping out of the windows on the tower are playing the real live game of Rampage and the towers fell






9/11 Anniversary

Sunday, September 11th, 2016



It’s been 15 years since the planes have hit the Twin towers and crashed into the Pentagon and in a  field in Pennsylvania. Pretty much everyone knows where they were on that day and what they were doing when the plane hit the first tower.

I remember I was in bed sleeping when my dad comes in telling me they were talking about planes crashing. I  of course got annoyed with him because I was not interested in hearing about a disaster that happened somewhere in the world. That was his way of getting me up that morning. I remember he came in again a few more times and with my bitchy teen attitude, I yell at him about it saying I do not care.

Then I am out of bed and I get dressed and I see the towers are on fire. Oh pitiful. But I still don’t take notice. I have breakfast I remember and then I remember Dad taking us to school and then I go to choir for first class and there it is again. The TV is in the room and it’s turned on and there is the Twin towers again burning. Instead of warming up and singing, we have to watch this on TV and listen to the news anchor people talking and watching the video of the burning towers. I learn in that class the planes were actually hijacked. What’s hijacked? It’s when you take over the plane. How do you take over the plane, what happened? Oh the terrorists got control of the plane and flew them into the towers. Oh they did it because they hate us. Oh our country is under attack. Kids are excited about World War III had started, I get upset and scared. My aide decides to take me back to the resource room.

All day long I am in there because the teachers have the TVs on in there and have everyone watching it.

I still didn’t understand the big deal and why everyone was obsessing about it. Had everyone gone OCD this day and I was nor the normal one?

But lot of the kids didn’t seem to care either and were also sick of hearing it. I could remember them complaining about it and one girl got sick of hearing about terrorists and them going to attack our country.

Our Culinary Art teacher was stuck in Mexico for a few weeks and I had lots and lots of computer time in the resource room because there was no school work thanks to those darn terrorists. Also our school principal made the Freshamn take down the Twin Towers from their homecoming float.

And I remember being called cold hearted for this day. Lots of teens this day were all cold hearted so I don’t feel guilty. I assume this must have been a kid and teen thing. I did 9/11 jokes back then and I saw them on Reddit yesterday.

This was the song my school played for this attack and we heard it a lot.

It’s been 15 years and over 3,000 people died. Families lost their loved ones, parents lost their kids, kids lost their parents,.people lost their friends and it’s now a nuisance to get through security in airports and what you can bring on the plane and you can no longer go to the gate with your family or friends when they take off. You can no longer go and watch planes land and take off.

RIP everyone who died on this day.

So that’s why my mom volunteered

Sunday, July 10th, 2016

in my church group.

I was in Montana for a week with my family and my mom told me a story about when I told her one day in the car “Mom, you don’t die and become a god, that doesn’t make sense. How can Jesus die and become a god, that isn’t logical.” I was surprised at that comment I had made so I asked my mother how old was I when I said that and she said I was in 5th or 6th grade when I had said it and I said I had lacked a social filter and my uncle corrected me saying “You lacked a religious filter” and said he was the same way as a kid. His mom was also religious and she never put him in a religious school because she knew he would get kicked out and my mom said when I made that comment in the car after church, she knew she would have to volunteer in my church class because of my religiously incorrect mouth. So that explained why my mom worked in my church group as a teacher with another guy and she would rephrase my comments and questions to make them religiously correct instead of politically correct. But anyway my middle brother said after church got out for the summer “Mom I don’t like this at all” and when we moved to Montana my brother decided he didn’t want to go to church because he didn’t want to see who went there and have it affect his friendship and know what their views are because he had teachers who were religious and he thought they were crazy because he didn’t like their beliefs. So he didn’t want to know what his own friends believed in. My uncle said he could understand that because once he finds out someone he knows is a republican, his opinions change about them and he tends to distant away from them so he would rather not know what party you are part of in politics and what your political beliefs are.

My mom told a story about how she hated growing up as Catholic. She hated these certain days where she had to go to church twice. She would go to school on those days and the whole school had to do church in the morning and then they had to miss their morning and afternoon recess and they would cut ten minutes from their lunch to make up those forty minutes they had missed and then she would come home from school and she had to do church again because her whole family had to do church in the evening and those were the worst days for my mother as a Catholic. I wonder how kids even survived without having any downtime on those days. Now with recess being cut these days I hear, it’s a no wonder why more kids have ADHD these days. My mom surprisingly agreed with me. Even when I was a kid, they would take recess away as a punishment. Then the teacher wonders why their whole class is rowdy and why kids won’t sit still and not pay attention and then other kids get distracted by that other child and then the whole class is rowdy or not paying attention to their teacher. Also it’s listed in the ADHD criteria that the symptoms have to happen in more than one setting, at least two. If it’s only in school, then the kid clearly doesn’t have it. But of course the school would rather not listen when the parent says their kid doesn’t do this at home because then that would mean they have flaws in their education system.

We got on this topic when I told my mother about how I almost not went on this trip because of a mistake our boss made while granting vacation requests. Two employees cannot be gone on the same day from each building so he was asking me if I can move my vacation to another week but I said that can’t be done or else that would mean I miss the funeral so I can have my husband and kids come out with my parents and they can take two cars and I will stay behind. The other co worker had a whole month off for vacation because of some religion thing she has and she must have saw my panic so she moved her vacation to a week earlier so she can be back the same day I will be gone. She had saved the day. But anyway I had said they had made religion a mental illness when the person takes it too far and my mom starts to explain about why people do religion and it’s about morals they follow because some people don’t know how to live their lives and to figure out right from wrong so they need religion to teach them. My mom taught us so we don’t need religion and I said you can still learn right from wrong like read about crime and learn about what is illegal and my mom said that wasn’t enough and they mean more like respect, how to treat others. To me that is still puzzling because you can watch movies and read books to figure out how nice people act and copy them and look at how mean people act and don’t do what they do. Also even children shows teach social skills. They also tell you how you should act. But apparently people need religion to teach them social skills. But some people take it too far like doing medical neglect because doctors are against their religion and medicine or some parents getting abusive when their kids decide to not follow their religion anymore like I showed in this one post here.

Has society created more disabilities

Sunday, May 15th, 2016

I have been reading stuff by Enrico Gnaulati. He speaks uncomfortable truths about ADHD, Bipolar, and autism spectrum disorders being over diagnosed. It’s true that school systems have changed, education has changed, work places have changed and so has getting a job. Even back in the days it seemed like more people who were mentally handicapped were employed and now today they are on social security and living in group homes or at home unemployed and less of them have jobs but yet more of them are employed than people are with autism spectrum disorders.

Enrico writes how autism diagnoses have increased over the years. In 1991, it was 1 in 500 and by 2002 it was 1 in 150 and now today it’s 1 in 68 and he has written several times already how it’s 1 in 42 boys who have autism. But he has also written that toddlers who met the criteria at two no longer fit it at age four and so on. He also wrote about how kids who are in early intervention are more likely to be mislabeled by Kindergarten. Also he has written how slow to mature kids are more likely to be diagnosed. Also he has written how kids can mimic symptoms of Bipolar or autism or ADHD when in fact the kid is going through stress factors, the kid has learned they have to act up to get attention because their parents don’t pay them any attention so if acting up is the only way to get it, they will do it, and also to have ADHD, symptoms have to happen in school and at home, not in school only. If a kid is fine at home but is having symptoms at school, then it’s the classroom that is the problem. Kids are expected to sit still for longer periods of time, recess is less given to kids, recess is taken away, some kids are more active than others, some kids have a different learning style, some are just gifted, some are just introverted.

Enrico also wrote a book called Back to Normal and it’s about when ordinary kids get diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, and autism spectrum disorder. You can peek inside the book and read some of it and it goes into detail about how this happens. He is not denying that these conditions exist, some kids do truly have ADHD or autism.

He also wrote somewhere that autism is more diagnosed in the states than it is in the UK because eccentric is more accepted there while in the states, people are placed into square pegs and if you are not in that box, they pathologize your personality.

I had been thinking about what if people are disabled because of society. There are people out there who have true disabilities so no matter what changes, their disability will always be there but for people like me, we are only disabled because of the way the system is. Teachers teach subjects a certain way and you are forced to do them a certain way but if you have a different learning style and it’s not taught in your style, you have a learning disability. Back in my parents’ childhood days, people with poor social skills were just weird and eccentric. Now today they are considered disabled because you now need good social skills for employment. It is no longer acceptable to be different. It used to be so easy to just get a job then but people have gotten less trusting and now you need work experience, cover letters, recommendations and that creates roadblocks for people like me so that makes me disabled. Plus they now have personality tests to screen out people and I think that is a loophole to not hire people who have social disabilities so you would have to lie and you better be good at “faking it.”

Also Enrico wrote about kids who are slow to mature, what if their slow to mature caused them an impairment in school and with their peers? Also what if your differences caused you to be singled out and bullied in school? What if your slow to mature caused you to be misunderstood by your parents so you were in trouble more? Then you graduate and then all of a sudden all your social problems disappear because you are able to find people who accept you and are not intolerant  of differences and plus adults are too busy with their lives to even bother harassing someone who is a little different just because they do not conform to social norms like fashion, interests, socializing.

But I wonder something, can one be autistic in the states but not be autistic in the UK because of different standards? What about people who move to foreign countries but do not speak their language as their primary language? It will not come natural to them so they will always need to translate and I am sure they will find social situations exhausting when talking to people and listening and they might always need an interpreter but yet that wouldn’t be an impairment or a disability?  If they took away their accommodations, they would be disabled in that country until they go back to their fluent speaking country where their language is primary.

Imagine if we took away all the ramps and elevators, then people in wheelchairs and who have problems with going up and down the stairs and who use crutches would be even more disabled. That is how I feel about people who are a bit different. In one country they might have a disability but go to another culture, they don’t have one because of their standards and their social rules that fit with their condition.

I do believe they have stretched autism. It could be because times have changed so now people who were just quirky, eccentric are now struggling so they get labeled as being autistic.

I talked to my husband yesterday saying what if our son is just normal and it’s just the school that is the problem and it doesn’t fit with his personality and what if it’s just us parents with the problem and our standards are just too high. My husband reassured me he does have ADHD and he has been with lots of kids and they don’t act that way and he knows his nephew and he acted the same as our son does. He also told me his symptoms are still there when he is still around him but he is just controlling them better but they are still there so he is trying. I can imagine how much energy he must be using to sit still, not act up, not get into trouble more than an average child who doesn’t have it. But he just controls it less around me because I shut down because I get overwhelmed so I leave.

Only time our son is ever still is when he is playing video games or watching youtube. Of course because it’s a stimulant. That is what I read online about ADHD. They may be fidgety and always on the move but yet they are able to sit still when playing a computer game or when doing something they enjoy because it’s a stimulant for them. But make them sit still during a lecture or when you are talking or during a movie or a game, too hard for them to sit still. But even as a parent I have no idea what behavior is normal for a five year old and what behavior is ADHD. All I can do is compare him to other five year olds but I don’t know any others all the time I can see to know what is normal and what isn’t. But I do know for certain his behavior isn’t normal in school or else other kids there would be having the same trouble as him and I was already having troubles with him at home and in public so I was sure he would be having trouble in school and I was right but with support in place, he has been doing much better. Take it away, he will be back to having behavior issues again and acting worse because he would be having anxiety because he is always in trouble and he would hate school and resent it.

I was even worried what if my behavior was just pathologized when I was a kid and what if my impairments were just bigoted kids and lack of tolerance and there really was nothing wrong with me? What if I was just picked on by school staff? I also had problems at home too but what if I was just slow to develop and mature as Enrico said? What if the only thing I have “wrong” with me is I am just different than having a true impairment? Sure I had a language delay. What if my slow maturity is what gave me problems because of lack of understanding and I am sure all kids get from time to time “How old are you?” “Start acting your age” Quit being a baby” but I heard it a lot as a child so that was a normal thing for me to hear and I never knew how to act my age. I wouldn’t even know I was being immature but I did notice there were rules for how to act and react and each age group had their own rules and it seemed like kids automatically knew those rules and I didn’t. Just imagine being new to a university but no one bothers to hand you their handbook about their campus and that has their policies in it and none of the teachers don’t bother telling you the rules in their classroom like about late work assignments, redoing them, making up for them you missed, and if you are tardy or miss a class, etc. Wouldn’t you be anxious? Wouldn’t you always have to be learning things the hard way and you would probably be asking a bunch of questions because you want to understand and know the rules. When you are a child, you will react differently. You will test your limits and see what you can and can’t do, you will keep on making mistakes and learning that isn’t allowed. You will keep on getting into trouble and it will seem like to the adult you never learn and don’t follow the rules. You can’t expect a child to ask a bunch of questions to learn the rules.

My mother has told me she always knew I had something and she knew I had more going on than just a language delay but then she turns around and says to me a month ago that I am very normal and the only thing I had was a language delay. What? Whatever happened to she knew I had something and what about all these diagnoses I have had before Asperger’s? Was I a victim of labels as Enrico described? Am I just disabled by society because of the way life is set up, the education, work, school? Is this what my mother meant by I am normal, it’s just society that is the problem? Sure I can do anything but the thing is people have to let me do it if they will just hire me instead of requiring experience and cover letters and so on. But my husband has a true disability because he will always have a disability no matter what changes in life. He has severe dyslexia, brain damage so it keeps him from memorizing numbers and letters so it makes him mess up in math so he would be a terrible cashier, he also can’t write due to dyslexia and he would write too slow, he had bad birth defects in his ankles so that also limits him.

I can understand now why so called people who have autism say they are not disabled an they don’t see autism as a disability. I tend to think these ones are on the high end of the spectrum and just quirky and eccentric and I bet they wouldn’t have anything wrong with them if they lived in my parents childhood days, they would just be very smart and eccentric and absent minded. Now today it’s a disability. Their impairment would be society because of their standards they have at work and for education.

I can understand why my mother would say I am not broken, there is nothing wrong with me and big fucking deal if I have Asperger’s and anxiety. There are people with it who are truly disabled by it and more limited because autism is a disabling condition. It is not a quirk or a personality. It’s a shame that people have to get a label thrown at them just so they can get the help they need and so they can function but yet people who are slow learners are fucked because they slip through the cracks. That I don’t understand. It also impairs them too unless they also have a true disability or some other “impairment” that impairs them, then they are not fucked.

But what would Enrico suggest to parents of kids who have different learning styles, are not accepted by their peers due to difference and who are slower to develop but it’s causing them a significant impairment in occupational settings? Not all parents can home school or find a private school to suit their needs. There are people out there who do grow up different and then they become adults and they grow out of their social issues and problems because they learn how to manage them and they can also pick their environment that suits them. Kids don’t get this choice so they have behavior issues in school and get labeled and get special education. Then they become normal when they leave high school, go figure. But then there are people out there who never stop being different. I used to think I would grow out of my learning problems and being different but that never happened. But I did grow out of being treated different and that still happens occasionally. I also grew out of being bullied and harassed. Some people never leave that so is it society that is the problem? Are those people living in the wrong area where everyone is closed minded? Then professionals have to put a label on them and declare them disabled and they end up on Social Security. Then I see people online complain about “moochers” and people “abusing” the system. My argument is if they will start hiring people who are different and stop discriminating based on body language and what clothes they wear and how they live their lives, and get rid of the road blocks, less people would be on Social Security.

So my mom is right, I am not disabled, I am only disabled by society.