I am back and have abandoned this section. I have offended some more people online:
Someone posts about their kid and this mom adopted her son and he acts like a Kevin. Ever seen Let’s Talk About Kevin, this was her post:
As the title says my son hates me. I know people are going to tell me that this is a phase but it has been going on since he was an infant. He is now going on 5. I know that the post is going to make me sound like a terrible person. There is nothing you can say that I haven’t already thought about myself.
I am a single mom by choice. I know I know. That makes me a selfish bitch but I wanted to be a mom. My son was placed with me at 4 months. I am a working mom (again I know what you’re thinking) and had to put my son in daycare. He did well at daycare but did nothing but cry at home. Nothing I did worked. Someone else would take him and he would shut up. I took more parenting classes and tried those techniques. They rarely worked.
Then he became a toddler and the behavior continued. His preschool teachers have never had complaints but he is a terror at home. For a while he was potty trained at school but not at home. He sat in time out at school but screamed at home. I followed the same routine but he would kick me and punch me if I tried to put him in time out. He would run from me at stores and in parking lots. He stopped eating dinner for a week because I wouldn’t give him hotdogs.
His behavior has started to turn more violent. He hits me a lot and doesn’t listen to a thing I say. We are working with a therapist but she doesn’t believe all of his behaviors because he doesn’t act that way in front of her. He is an angel at therapy and in school. They don’t see it. Our last two therapist didnt either. He loves guns and they tell me it is normal boy behavior but they don’t see how he plays with them. He plays differently there. He is obsessed with death and tells me to die. He knows what it means.
He is very smart. He is acamdeically ahead but socially behind. He can talk to kids but prefers to be alone. At home he doesn’t let me play with him. I hear stories of kids who don’t let their parents be alone and I wish that was us. He doesn’t care that I’m even here. He rarely lets me hug or kiss him. He doesnt mind hugs or kisses from other family members though. I think he knows that he can manipulate people and I’m sure he hates me. I don’t know why. I know I’m not perfect but I have always tried. I’m tired of trying. I take the long way to his preschool and think about running away from all of this often. I love my son but he hates me. I don’t know what to do or how to repair our broken relationship. I get all of the blame but none of the help.
Some comments imply she is to blame for her child but this mom is trying to bond with her kid and get him to love her and according to her responses, he does not have RAD. This looks a lot like Let’s Talk About Kevin. I remember in the movie the mom tries to bond with Kevin but he pushes her away and he also refuses to potty train. He acts normal with everyone else but his mother. The more she tries, the worst he gets and then at the end, she doesn’t try anymore and guess what, she finally gets what she always wanted. So all she had to do for all these years was not try and bond with him. But was it her fault? No because she was doing what most moms do and they try everything to to get their kid’s attention and to love them and to bond and she did try to raise concerns but no one would believe her so the mom would blame herself and question herself, talk about gas lighting everyone was giving the mother. Taking him to a psychiatrist would have been useless because they would have seen a normal child and the mom would have come off as someone who is trying to get her kid labeled.
So I said in my comment:
You got a Kevin. Maybe try not bonding with him and see how that goes. If you have seen Lets Talk About Kevin, then you know what I mean. It felt like I was reading about the movie.
-12 downvotes it has as of right now.
Now last week on Valentine’s Day on Twitter, I believe someone I am following posts something fatlogi. It was a retweet and it read “Dear struggling teen, The problem is society, not your body. We see you. We’re here for you. There are entire communities who’ll love you exactly the way you are. @weightwatchers is not the answer. #wakeupweightwatchers. There was also another one I saw in the comments when I looked at the thread and it read “Teens, the problem is not your body pr the way you eat. The problem is society & the way it views bigger bodies. There is no wrong way to have a body. You are perfect just as you are, don’t let profit driven diet companies tell you otherwise” and it has the hashtag again and weightwatchers.
When I read those comments, I saw them as telling teens it’s okay to be obese and promoting it. I wrote “fatlogic, being too skinny and too big is unhealthy” and the person I was following asked me excuse me so I clarified what I meant. I said the tweet was promoting people to accept any body even though obesity causes medical issues and people who have lost weight have actually felt the difference in their feet and how much easier it is to go up and down the stairs. The I added in my new comment since Twitter only has limited characters that being under weight was just as bad too and explained the medical issues anorexia causes and how people have died from it. But the person did not take it well. While she clarified what the tweet meant, and she said thew tweet was actually meant, she accused me of fat shaming. All she had to do was clarify the tweet and leave it at that and it would have been the end of it. If anyone knows me, I do not like false accusations so I will get defensive and defend myself. Some people get enraged when falsely accused, I just get defensive. I told her I wasn’t fat shaming and explained I was pointing out the medical issues both obesity and anorexia face. I also asked her if she ever saw TV shows like Mr 600 Pound Life and saw how debilitating it is for them and asked if she promoted that. Instead of answering, she told me she promoted everyone accepting and loving their body and everyone but the person in that body keeping their opinions on that body to themselves and then said she was blocking me as she doesn’t accept fat shaming in her tweed. There she went accusing me again of fat shaming so she was one of those people who dismisses medical facts about obesity but doesn’t dismiss medical facts about eating disorders and anorexia. I have been checking out the fat acceptance community and I already wrote a post about it last week. But I did see posts at Tumblr and the fat people were spreading misinformation and also telling everyone how saying medical things about obesity is just a disguise to look like a health concern to fat shame. I also saw other tweets telling everyone to block anyone who fat shames and does “health concerns.” It is possible this person fell into that bullshit and now believes their conspiracies. Look, I have fat family members, my mom is fat, my in laws are fat, my husband is fat. I have relatives who are fat. They all know obesity is unhealthy and it has risks. Of course none of them are obese but my husband is considered obese but he just looks fat. He does not get offended by medical information about obesity and call it fat shaming. Even other fat people out there think this whole movement thing is bullshit and they know it’s unhealthy so they are either trying to lose weight or they don’t but they know it’s unhealthy. It’s stupid to hate them of course, it’s stupid to not treat them as human. If I hated fat people, I wouldn’t have married one and my husband was a lot bigger when we met. This person who blocked me isn’t even close to being fat or even obese. She might be overweight but she still looks normal. So why would she get offended is beyond me when I made fun of no one and didn’t judge anyone or give out any unsolicited advice on weight loss because that is just rude if I did that. It’s not like I wrote, “Attention fat people, time to put down the coke and burgers and stop eating junk food and start walking and quit eating all the time and stop being lazy slobs and get off your fat ass.” That would just be judgmental and implying all fat people eat like that and never work out and they love their soft drinks and fast food and anything processed and sugar.
Smoking is unhealthy
Skinny fat is unhealthy
Eating junk food is unhealthy
Drinking is unhealthy
Drugs are unhealthy
Being obsessed with a person is unhealthy
Addiction is unhealthy
Emotional eating is unhealthy
See what I did there? Where is the shame?
Now I was never fond of any diet programs and find them a waste of money and WeightWatchers have this point program and I am not sure how it’s supposed to work because some health foods have no points but how does that work, you can eat too much and still give yourself the same amount of calories you body uses. Then they weigh you every week and you are supposed to drop the pound and if you don’t, you are kicked out of the program if I am remembering correctly. To me that is like too much pressure and demand. Plus it costs money to join. I am too cheap to pay money to lose weight so I’d rather do it on my own, eat less and work out and drink water than calorie drinks. If this program is causing eating disorders like the modeling industry was causing, maybe they will change their way like the modeling industry has.
What is it with telling everyone to love their bodies, what about anorexics or obesity? Some anti fat acceptance fat people have explained loving your body just means you love it enough to take care of it and to make changes to be the healthy weight. Now that makes more sense and all you have to do is clarify that if I misunderstand it. They also said it means to accept any flaws or any burns or amputees your body has but not anorexia or obesity.
Now the next one I offended. I posted a thread on Wrongplanet, everyone misunderstands it because I didn’t know how to articulate it. Then when I try to clarify it and then asked if they got it now, someone took offense to it and accused me of being patronizing and wrote they don’t think they would be responding to my posts anymore.
There was another one I posted but I posted about it in my other blog and it was called weight loss is a sensitive topic
Okay is telling someone to put on weight thin shaming? Basically what I did would be called fat shaming by the fat acceptance because I gave the person weight loss advice when he complained about adult baby diapers not fitting him. They have other ridiculous things as fat shaming like weight loss or mentioning your weight loss, not wanting to be fat, and that one video I saw of these two doctors giving an autopsy to an obese body that was donated by the person who had died and that was considered fat shaming by them. See they dismiss science and the doctors did prove how unhealthy fat was and how it wraps around your organs and she did indeed died from heart disease and they showed the damage the fat has done to the liver because it had creases that was done by the body fat and they said it was doing damage to the liver and could tell by the creases. Then at the end they sewed the tummy back up and zipped the bag back up with the body. If anyone is curious about the video, her it is:
But in the comments people were focused on the doctor who was also overweight and couldn’t be focused on the body and what obesity does. I just wanted to tell everyone “who cares about his size. The video is about what obesity does to your body, not what size the doctor has.” My husband weighs more than this body. Oops did I just fat shame my own husband? Last time I checked what fat shaming is, it’s ridicule and belittling and making fun of someone for their size. I only stated a fact, not say it to make fun of him.