Archive for March, 2017

No one wants to believe a kid can be evil

Friday, March 31st, 2017

This comment got four down votes as of right now:

 

I believe evil exists and I believe some are born with it. Jeffrey dahmar is an example and it’s possible a child to be evil. But no one wants to believe it. That kid might be sick. If it were my kid I would be rushing for hospitals and psychistrists and putting locks on everything and never let the kid out of my sight. Are the parents not aware?

 

Some parent online made this post here:

This is going to be a long story

My brother has this 4 soon to be 5 year old that I wouldn’t trust leaving my daughter alone with. He does some pretty sadistic things. He hits my child on purpose and the smile on his face when he laughs and smiles about it gives me chills. When he was younger he use to bite his siblings and niece’s and nephew’s. He’s grown out of that stage but now he scratches, punches, etc.

Today I’m writing cause it concerns me of what he actually did last night and I’m concerned for my child’s health. I just had woken up to make my child a bottle of milk (she has SPD and still is on bottles. As I was pouring her a bottle of milk I poured myself a glass as well and when I took a drink it tasted awful, like pure rubbing alcohol. At first I thought it was the glassed I poured it in but then I smelled the jug of milk and noticed there was a bottle of rubbing alcohol on the kitchen counter that was empty. I got panicked, spilled it all down the drain and started searching up what would happen if it was drank (I’m in panic mode now) I’m not sure if the bottle I made her previously was contaminated or not but she has SPD so I’m hoping and praying that it wasn’t cause she would know. I have no proof he did it but I just know in my heart he did. He’s a little sadistic shit of kid.

Anyway should I take my child to the E.R. So far she’s acting fine in her sleep but I’m not sure. She had a fever earlier but I think that was cause to her teeth (she’s been complaining her teeth hurt) has a dentist appointment tomorrow. Once again I don’t know if the milk had been contaminated earlier or just 4-5 hours ago.

Also, my brother and his wife are temporarily staying with us and because they had a conflict with my other brother they were staying with about their kids. So I feel like if I bring this up they’ll be devastated but their kid is just too bad

So it’s offensive that if your kid behaves like psychopath and it’s beyond normal,  you look for doctors and mental hospitals to help your child so they won’t be a psychopath and they learn to control it and it’s offensive to keep everything locked away so your kid can use anything as a weapon and keeping them in your sight so they won’t do anything evil because you are watching and you can’t trust them for a few minutes or in the other room by themselves. Also the mother said in her comments the kid is actually five going on six. But no one wants to believe it a kid can be that bad and you did nothing wrong to make your kid that way.

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My mother’s strange language

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Last night I was taking a shower and I asked my mother if my brother took home his son’s presents my dad forgot to give him. My mom said he was leaving it here for his kids to play with because they can’t play it at their house (must be against the HOA rules) because he might not see it again if he left it at *Marlene’s, his ex.

I had no idea she would steal it and not let my brother ever take it home with him but my mom said she didn’t steal it because it was her present too because it was for her son. I said but she might not let my brother take it with him and my mom said no he might want to play it with his kids but it would be at Marlene’s because he forgot it. So I said but he might never get it back right because he would never see it again. My mom said that is not what she meant so I pointed out to her she said he might never see it again so that means she wouldn’t let him have it and would just keep it at her house and not ever give it back. My mom then said she can see how I got that wrong picture in my head and said what she meant. It still didn’t make sense why she would say my brother might never see it again.

What did she mean? She meant that he might not be able to play with it with his kids because it would be at Marlene’s house. I didn’t say again to my mother “But she might not give it back to him if he ever tries to get it from her to bring is home with the kids when he picks them up for his turn with them. But I didn’t want to get her upset and frustrated for saying the same thing over and over so I kept it to myself because she will keep saying that is not what she meant. She did say hew might never see it again. How can that not mean she won’t ever let him have it again if he tries to bring it back with him? She even said she meant it literally. No she did not. Just another example of my mom’s strange language.

Why I think the whole Cassandra thing is bullshit

Monday, March 13th, 2017

I do not doubt that people on the autism spectrum can cause problems for their partners and give them problems and stress but I do not agree with the whole Cassandra Affective Disorder thing. Here’s why?

Every person with a disorder is going to be hard for anyone. Even being with an ASD person as an ASD person is going to be hard too. Being with someone who has an eating disorder or an anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD, PTSD, etc is going to be hard for everyone who is with them. Hell even having PMS is going to make it hard for your partner. But you know what, there has not been any alternate labels created for those who have been affected by other disorders so why only autism?

Why isn’t there a label for those who are affected by partners who have any cluster B disorders or a label for those who are affected by a partner who has anxiety or OCD or ADHD, cerebral palsy, being confined to a wheelchair,  PTSD, etc.

So this whole Cassandra thing is ridiculous. We already have a diagnoses like PTSD, anxiety, and depression so why a new label? What is so special about being in a relationship with someone on the autistic spectrum that it warrants its own label? Because it means deprivation and they say that the autistic person withholds love and support from their partners so it harms them but that still doesn’t make sense because a person with any disorder is going to cause problems for their partner and there are no separate labels for it. What about none ASD people out there who also don’t show love and support to their partners and also lack empathy for them? Why not make a label for that too? So why only ASD?

What about people who are asexual or have a low sex drive or for some reason lacks interest in sex? Why not make that a label because after all the partner is going to be starved from sex.

Or what about people who are introverts and their partner is a extrovert, should we have a label for that because they might be starved from socializing and being with their friends or from going out with their partner to places?

What about people who have sensory processing issues? Shall we also have a label for that because their partners might also be starved from giving affection to them and be starved from having “normal” sex and not being able to do affection and love?

What about people who suck at giving gifts, shall we have a label for that because the partner might be starved from getting good gifts from them so therefore it’s going to affect them thinking their partner doesn’t put enough effort into it? Yes this is a real thing because there is a thread on Reddit about getting bad gifts from their partner but yet they can give great baby shower gifts. Then there is the other thread about their partner suck with birthdays so they act like a jerk on that day so maybe there should be a label for that too.

This is how silly it gets with this whole Cassandra thing and why it’s discriminatory and why so many ASD people object to this label.

 

 

 

 

A distraction

Monday, March 13th, 2017

I took my kids to The Art of the Brick and they had all these Lego artwork displays by Nathan Sawaya and my children loved all the displays. That helped kept my mind off my former “friend” and my stories. They also had an area where the exit is for kids to build with Legos and they had a little store there selling Lego books and Lego building set and selling postcards for The Art of the Brick and t shirts. Then we went to the cafeteria and had lunch and then we went to the exhibit hall upstairs and their theme this time was recycling and saving the environment and they had their oldest display there which was the lit up body that was at the Chicago’s World’s Fair in 1933 and then our local museum purchased it in 1958 and it’s been their oldest display at the museum. I honestly didn’t remember seeing it there ever when I would go there as a kid. They still had their display there about pregnancies and the baby growing inside the mother and showing the stages. My son thought they looked like aliens but I told him that is what babies look like when they are growing inside the mother and forming and he and his sister looked like that too. Then we went to the Science Playground that is for kids six and under and they all play in there and it’s like The Children’s Museum. They played hard and they had animal life in there, water works where you play with water and they had a fake kitchen and supermarket and balls to play with and they had a room where kids played with building stuff and they had this putty stuff kids played with and they had an area for infants who are not yet walking but some moms still had their little ones in there who were walking.

My daughter got soaking wet from playing with water and we stayed until closing time and we left and my brother was still here so my son got to see his cousins and they played together. My dad changed my daughter out of her wet clothes and I changed her pull up and put a clean one on her.

But I feel happy despite not talking to my “friend” anymore and one of my other online friends gave me advice for story writing to write for myself not for others because I enjoy it and it helps me. I still would love to share them and talk about my characters but I can’t if it’s going to stress me out because my “friend” would rather be a politician and thought that was more important and I am thinking maybe he didn’t want to talk to me anymore but yet acted like he still wanted to and was acting like a true friend so that is very confusing. Why would someone act like a true friend but still throw it all away by still making racist comments?

I turned off notifications so I wouldn’t see any new messages from him. I don’t really delete conversations even though I have thought about doing it several times with him over the last couple of years whenever he would upset me.

But happiness is better than being stressed out because of my stories. I had to make a decision between my own interest and my mental health.

Had to make a tough decision

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Someone who I had been friends with for four years now I had to drop as a friend because he wouldn’t quit making racist comments. I had told him to stop and if he did it again, we’re through and he did it again so I guess I was not that important to him as a friend. I have tried to educate him telling him how stupid this all is and to judge people by their skin color or religion or nationality. I have even used analogies and he was still racist. I even put it in my story and he is still racist. He will keep on stereotyping and won’t stop. He is fine with singling out a group and it doesn’t matter if any of them are innocent, it doesn’t matter if you are a Mexican and a US citizen. He still thinks you should be lumped with the illegals and be thrown out of the US and that any of the newcomers from Mexico should not come into the US and become US Citizens. That bothered me. The last comment he made that pissed me off that I thought was racist was “My god Christina is a Muslim, I thought she was Natalie’s cousin.” And this was after I had my character say she didn’t practice that religion and no one in her immediate family does and no one in her family life has joined any terrorist groups or do Sharia. She was just a regular person like us and she got singled out for her skin color at work by a patient and my friend thought this was okay?

I couldn’t take it anymore so I have had enough of his bigotry and racism. You don’t need to be smart or have a high IQ to be stupid. He is so into stereotypes he will not learn. Instead of “Oh I didn’t know she had a Muslim background, I guess not all of them do terrorism and do family torture” it was that other comment he made.

The focus should be on illegal immigrants. Not on a group. The focus should be on trying to make it harder for people to enter our country who are non US citizens. But how to do it without tearing families apart and for those who were adopted by US parents but never gave them a US citizenship. They shouldn’t be kicked out of our country because of their adopters ignorance. Now anyone who was under 18 at the time when the law came into affect in 2001 who were adopted automatically became US citizens. Now anyone outside the country who gets adopted is an automatic US citizen but that only applies to those who are under 18.

But every time I lose a friend I always make a list of reasons why they sucked as a friend and reasons why they were a good friend and the con list has always been larger than the pro list.

Cons:

Doesn’t answer all my questions

Is against that the Holocaust happened

Likes Trump

Likes Hitler

I don’t know anything personal about him

I don’t know his name

Is racist

Stereotypes too much

Likes to lump people in a group because of his stereotyping

Thinks anyone is stupid for having a learning disability or different learning style

 

Pros:

Believes 9/11 happened

Does not believe in bullying

Likes stupid people unless they are too stupid

Loves my Natalie stories and he is someone for me to engage my interest with him

 

Yes I will miss him because of Natalie. But I had to make a tough decision because it’s not worth my mental health and I know what happens to me when I get very upset. I have a hard time functioning and it’s not fair to my kids.

 

The Switch is Out

Thursday, March 9th, 2017

And they sold out fast. I wonder if there are a shortage of them and they will be like the Wii where Nintendo deliberately made limited supply of them so they would always sell out and be hard to find in stores. My husband wants to get me one but I am not interested in them because I don’t play a lot of video games anymore and I mostly do my phone now. I don’t do much on my 3DS so getting a Switch would be a waste of money.

My daughter is growing up

Thursday, March 9th, 2017

My daughter is going to be three soon. Today is her cousin’s birthday and he turned 3. My daughter can already talk in sentences and she can put dishes in the sink and give me things and she is very helpful and she can get food from the fridge and get a spoon from the drawer. She already gives herself a beauty parlor and wears jewelry and she is very feminine. She still isn’t potty trained and has lost interest in the toilet.

How do you know?

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

How do you know if your kid has dyslexia or if they are just getting their letters and numbers backwards like all children do when they are first learning?

How do you know if your kid has a very good imagination or if they are having hallucinations and delusions? Lot of kids will say things like they have something in their closet and have you check it for them or they have an imaginary friend and claim they did it, not them.

How do you know if your kid has food texture issues or is just a picky eater?

How do you know if your kid has autism or is just very smart and gifted when they know a lot of stuff and talk good facts about their interest and how do you know if they just have poor social skills and just need catching up than having autism and how do you know if your kid is just willful?

This is something I struggle with as a parent. My son is picky, he gets his letters and numbers turned around and is having a hard time learning them. My mom says this is all normal. How do I know if she is right or if my son is having true issues?

Sometimes parents know their kids have something but everyone keeps telling them this is all normal but the parent is smart enough to know their kid is having deeper issues and sometimes parents think their kid has something and everyone says their kid is normal and the parent turns out to be wrong because their kid was “normal.” so how do you know?

I would hate to be hard on my son for something he cannot help but how do I know if he has a disability? I have thought about should I get him tested for a learning disability but if I am being told this is normal, I will look like one of those crazy parents who takes their kids in to be tested thinking their kid has something only be told the same thing so they don’t bother with the testing. Then what if few years later it did turn out he had dyslexia, then I would feel stupid and guilty because I would feel I had abused him and I was stupid enough to listen to my mother and doctor.

This is one of the examples of how kids with disabilities are more likely to be abused. If they look normal and seem normal, their parents are told they’re normal and they believe the doctors. Plus if the kid looks normal and seems normal, the parent might not even bat an eye to even think their kid could have something so they never bother getting them tested for anything or taking them to a psychologist. Sometimes the children forgive their parents and sometimes the kids don’t forgive their parents so they hardly ever see them as an adult or they disown them. I have seen it all online within the autism community.

I’d say if the kid has severe disabilities or obvious ones, then it’s a lot easier because people then taker your concerns more seriously and don’t tell you this is all normal and that all kids do this. It’s even easier as a parent because you at least know.

 

Tough choice

Friday, March 3rd, 2017

I have been talking to someone online for four years now but unfortunately I didn’t know he was racist or a xenophobic until about two years in. I found out on accident. In the past I have tried to reason with him about his views by pointing out how flawed it is to judge a whole neighborhood and he would justify it like Muslim is a choice, disability or race is not. Then he has used statistics to justify his bigotry and used terrorist stories to justify his hate towards Muslims because of a small group of them that do terrorism and saying how only 30% disagreed with terrorism but yet still expressed hate about that group. Then he says you’re painting the world in roses when you don’t sprout racism and compared it to the Titanic sinking. Realizing I can’t change his views, I would just ignore it and let him do his hate comments and now it’s getting to a point it’s starting to affect me mentally. My head hurts and I can’t even take care of my kids because I am so upset and I am so exhausted I have to rest and I am so irritable. After he has apologized for upsetting me, he does his hate stuff again and now I am upset and sick all over again from my own anxiety because I am so upset.

My husband thinks I should take anti anxiety medicine but I told him this is just from my online friend and I find it ridiculous to take pills when you can just deal with the problem by cutting out the friend and problem solved, you’re better now.

Unfortunately this is what I am thinking of doing, cutting off contact with him and I told him if he does his hate speech again we’re done. Then I told him I better not hear his justification of xenophobia a character faced in my story at her work or his anti Holocaust talk.

My special interests has been my own stories I like to write and he is a fan of them and loves my Natalie character and he is the only one I can talk to about my stories but sadly he is starting to affect my mental health with his bigotry and I am left with a touch decision to think about if this is even worth it for my interest? If talking to him regarding my stories is going to make me so ill I am going to be lazy and be snappy and upset in real life and have a sore brain and be tired all the time, it’s not worth it. I need to do something about my health.

Now I know what my limitation is now when talking to people, once someone sprouts any forms of racism at me, cut them off because it will eventually lead to this and they will keep expressing it and you will learn more disturbing things about them when you talk about other things with them because they have the nerve to express it at you. I don’t even want to know what other disturbing things he believes in. I wonder if he thinks the earth is flat lol. That is an exaggeration I did there but my point is I don’t even want to know what he he thinks that would be so disturbing and yes there are people out there that really do think the earth is flat.