I’m so crazy

Friday, February 3rd, 2017

(This post contains sarcasm)

I hate it when people normalize what I went through as normal. I have been taken advantage of, used, spat at, gotten into trouble by other kids, trick into eating foods that have been farted on or sat on or been in other kids mouths, made fun of, verbally abused by being told I am retarded or stupid, made fun of for how I talked, had pine cones thrown at me, and this happened to me all the time and I was targeted for this abuse.

I decided today that anyone who tries to tell me this is all normal I will cut them out of my life for making me feel I am crazy and mental and that I can’t handle normal things so I exaggerate and make things look bad than it really is.

I guess I am so crazy no wonder I am on SSDI because I am so crazy.

I am so upset about that comment I got online why was I so stupid to read past “Please don’t take offense” because I did get offended after all and upset and now I am feeling like I am insane and crazy and I exaggerated my problems and my past and I must not have looked hard enough to see everyone else get it all the time. Then in 6th grade I was falling apart I had to be taken out of school and couldn’t go for a while because I was so ill and I was even seeing a psychiatrist but it was for a diagnoses. But I don’t think I was there because I was being picked on, I was there to get a diagnoses for school because all the other diagnoses I have had were not working.

My husband just told me none of this was normal and he never had any of that stuff happen to him and that person was crazy for thinking it’s normal. I asked him he has never been taken advantage of or had been given food that was in their mouth or been sat on and he told me No and that was bullying and not normal.

For years I was weary of taking a piece of candy from anyone if I didn’t see them taking it out and giving it to me because I was so worried they had done something to it and will start laughing after I put it in my mouth. I also was afraid I was going to be taken advantage of anyone in school so it made me be cautious and I was also cautious of any stories I was told about because I wasn’t sure if they were made up. And this is normal? Wow I am crazy if this is how it affected me and no wonder I am on SSDI. I really do have mental issues if I can’t handle normal life and normal things do mental affect on me or psychological affect. I wonder if there is a condition for this sort of thing I have?

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5 comments on “I’m so crazy

  1. Thank you, I appreciate it, and also I am sorry. If I ever come off as rude to you, just send me a PM and let me know that what I said you didn’t like. It will help me a great deal, and it will help me understand you so I don’t make the same mistake again.

    I also am sorry to hear all of that. My mom is pretty crazy as well, though in a different manner. She is a ton of crazy conspiracy theories and any issues that I have are due to the Illuminati. x.x So, I can’t really rely on her for any sort of help as she just shuts me out with her delusions. She also blamed video games for why I am transgender. At this point I rarely talk to her anymore, she threw me out a long time ago, as she did with all her kids. It’s probably why I developed BPD, pretty much was abandoned by nearly everyone in my family.

    I can totally understand that you don’t want to be upset around your children and honestly, I think that is fantastic. It shows you are a great mother, and you should be absolutely proud of that. =^.^=

    Like

  2. Brook Davidson says:

    Anyway, sorry, I hope you have a good life … maybe once I kill myself … everyone will be happier.

    Like

    • Momof2 says:

      You made it worse for yourself, leaving me a hateful comment in my blog and insulting me and not seeing it from my perspective and acting like my feelings were invalid makes me just want to ignore you more. Life pro tip for you, when someone expresses how they hated being told how normal something is, do not tell them it’s normal. They obviously don’t want to hear it. The reason why I blocked you was because I didn’t want to get in a drama with you and get more hurt feelings from your comments and having more unwanted thoughts and feeling crazy about myself. I hear you are trying to work on your communication so I suggest still work at it here. You were expecting a quick response here so you were leaving me multiple comments? Do you think I check my blog often for comments? But I appreciate your apology for your comments you have left me.

      Like

      • I am sorry, but it’s pretty crappy to be blocked. How am I suppose to see it from your side if you block me to where we can’t even communicate?

        I also never once suggested your feeling where invalid, you assumed that all on your own. If you actually spoke to me you might have actually found out our feelings are actually quite similar.

        The reason I told you it’s normal, is not to offend you and I specifically told you not to take it offensively, which again you didn’t even bother to take such advice and just assumed I meant it in a bad manner. Look, I am sorry, and yes I am working on my social skills, but this one incident and you decided you would ignore me? I am sorry, but that is pretty messed up. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I take this sort of thing quite seriously.

        You want me to understand you? Then how about you take a little time to try and understand me? It’s a 2-way street. Instead of just assuming I am trying to be mean, how about you give me a little decency and respect and first ask what I mean?

        Also, I am sorry, you are feeling crazy about yourself, I often feel the same way. That was not my intention at all. That is specifically why I tried to make certain I was telling I didn’t mean it in an offensive manner, to begin with. I am really trying. And I absolutely hate how even when I try people seem to take offense. Why can’t people just give each other the benefit of the doubt first before shitting all over each other?

        Also, you don’t want drama? I understand that, but you are the one that caused it in the end by trying to avoid it even before it was needed.

        No, I was not expecting a quick response, with borderline personality disorder I tend to freak out. I don’t take abandonment well. I become very upset and I don’t really know how to cope with it. I can’t get professional help due to the situation I am in, in real life and so I have to work on this on my own.

        I am trying my absolute best.

        I am sorry … I really am. But I have to tell you, it hurts a lot to realize you have been ignored before you can even explain anything.

        My advice to you, don’t do that to people. I may have taken it a lot worse than others, but I can’t imagine it makes anyone feel good to be ignored/blocked over a misunderstanding. I don’t even know why people do that. I don’t ever block people unless they deserve it because it hurts. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and a chance. Everyone deserves at least that much.

        Also, none of this drama would have even occurred if you just gave me the chance because you would have seen my response to you today. You ignoring me was premature.

        Now if you want to continue to ignore me, ok. Fine. Whatever. If that is how you want to be … that is ok. I will respect your decision. I said what I had to say.

        Edit: I guess you also blocked me here too.

        Like

      • Momof2 says:

        My mom has said some things to me that makes me question myself and feel crazy so the words “normal” are a trigger for me and I didn’t want to feel even more crazy. I also don’t do well with drama and conflicts so I try to avoid them now because they get me really upset and in real life too and it’s not fair to my children and I hate feeling that way myself. I tried to be strong and thought if I just ignored my feelings and pretend they were not there, I would be tough and get better but I was just lying to myself. Now I either run from threads and don’t visit them again or I use the block button to continue viewing the thread depending on if the forum has that feature or not. On Reddit I just turn off the comments to my inbox so I won’t see it and I don’t visit that thread again and then it blows over but I still don’t go back because I don’t want the feelings to return. I’m very sorry. I will unblock you.

        Like

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