My mom the armchair psychiatrist

Thursday, January 19th, 2017

My mom is someone who will armchair diagnose someone and sometimes her diagnoses could be correct. Remember when I wrote when she told me she thought Jayden might be a schizophrenic and I scoffed at that idea? it turned out she was right he did have it even if it wasn’t very obvious then. He wasn’t hearing voices or having hallucinations and he wasn’t talking to himself and he wasn’t violent or getting into trouble with the law. He didn’t do any crazy stuff nor did he think he had anyone spying on him or had people after him. But he did have bizarre thoughts and he would form a speculation and jump to that conclusion and say it’s true.

Then we were watching the Dr Phil show the other week and there was a woman on there who was so convinced she had caner she would discredit any doctor. She really believed she had these symptoms and the tests always came back positive so she would go to doctor to doctor and her only diagnoses she had was anxiety. My mom said she had Munchausen. I knew this woman was not doing it for attention, she really thought she was sick and is dying and doctors were failing her. What happened was her own mother died because she had untreated cancer because doctors missed it before it was too late so the woman didn’t want that to be her so she is worried she is sick and has all these symptoms when in fact they are not cancer symptoms.

She is a nurse but she thinks she can just diagnose people and when I was 19 she told me if she thinks this one boy named Nathan we knew when I was a kid if he had Asperger’s because he took the bible too literal and what his parents taught him. Is that all? He has Asperger’s over being literal about the bible and what he was taught about boys and girls? He thought girls were weak and you had to be mean to them and make fun of them because they are girls so he would tell my brothers they can’t be nice to me because I am a girl. He had no respect for girls. So my mom thought he might have had AS over this?

Then there is my dad, mom told me about how she and my father went to this nice restaurant in some tall building in downtown somewhere on the top floor. My dad sees the desserts and he starts mentioning the prices and saying how much Krispy Kreme doughnuts you can get and he starts laughing. My mom was thinking “shut up please” and the waiter who was there looked at my mother and my mother could tell by the look on his face he was embarrassed for her. People were looking at them. My mom told me she is starting to think he has Asperger’s. Asperger’s because of this incident?

Then there is Bones. My mom says she has it but my dad has that same opinion too as her and many people have speculated she has it so it’s not just my mother and her armchair diagnosing she is doing.

My mom has even placed labels on me like PTSD, social anxiety, addictive personality. All these labels she keeps giving me I wonder what her next diagnoses will be. This all used to annoy me and same as when she would armchair diagnose another person and now I am finding it hilarious. I am going to see what other crazy diagnoses she can give people. But for Jerry, she told me she thinks he had problems with anger. She has not armchair diagnosed her with anything except thinking he had problems with anger. I have not told her yet he is now a she because it feels too awkward for me to tell her and the fact my mom doesn’t understand transgender. Maybe someday I will tell her.

She has also not armchair diagnosed my husband with anything yet.

But what my mother also does is she will put medical labels on people over a few symptoms and not literally mean it. I called her out on the PTSD one and she said all of a sudden “Okay it’s just a label, you do not have PTSD” and then she goes back to talking about it again and me. That is how she talks. She will even say behavior is part of X but she doesn’t mean they have X. That is how she talks. To me it’s just Mom being Mom.

 

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