“I don’t do drama.”

Monday, October 10th, 2016

Often times I have seen people say on the internet that anyone who says this actually are the ones who do drama. To me this never made sense. It never made sense because people who don’t do drama would try to avoid it and walk away once it starts. I used to get into drama all the time online because I cared too much what people thought, I was always defending myself from false accusations and insults, but all it was doing was it was getting me into trouble and making me more if a target on forums and then it was upsetting me too much it would distract me at work because it would be too upsetting and stressful. So now I try to avoid it. I learned to not care too much what people think. I don’t argue anymore with stupid or talk to a brick wall or be a broken record.

I went on a forum and asked about where this logic came from about people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. At first I didn’t get good responses and people weren’t seeming to take my question seriously so I replied in the thread saying it was serious and I really want to know why people think people who say they don’t do drama are the ones who actually do it. Then finally I got two good responses. The reasons I got were:

It’s people getting angry, feeling hurt, being challenged or attacked. Those things happen sometimes though, even among good people. I’ve yet to meet a married couple that doesn’t have some drama in their lives. People who say that they don’t like drama are saying that they don’t like it when people get upset, and that usually means either 1) they try to ignore it or 2) they get upset themselves. Those are, unfortunately, the two worst responses to somebody else getting upset because they escalate the situation rather than resolve it. It’s usually better to deal with drama by trying to defuse the situation. There are lots of ways to do that: calm in the face of anger works sometimes, humor is often great, getting a third party to come in and mediate can help a lot, or sometimes just being the bigger person and being willing to admit to mistakes.

So, TLDR, a person saying they don’t like drama is strongly correlated with that person having poor skills for dealing with drama when it occurs and therefore making it worse.

 

I’m one of the rare people who hates drama and for the most part, actually avoids getting involved in it. I imagine that people who hate drama, yet keep causing drama, are people who are addicted to outrage in some way. They tend to live in a bubble, and when they say they hate drama, they hate arguing because they want everyone to agree with them because they’re always right. When they exit their safe space and encounter other people, they start arguing with other people who also live in a bubble, and once two people outside their safe spaces and addicted to outrage collide, drama ensues. This should explain where a lot of outrage and drama comes from.

 

These two responses make so much sense about people who say they don’t like drama or don’t do it. They can’t handle to be challenged or attacked and drama is part of life and anyone has yet to meet someone who doesn’t ever have drama in their life.

So basically when someone says they don’t do drama, they are the ones who will just shut down and not discuss it whenever you disagree with them or have a different perspective so therefore they run away from the problem than trying to resolve it. They are more likely to keep things bottled up and not express themselves or speak up whenever something bothers them so instead of telling the person, they just hold it all in. Some people just don’t have good social skills when it comes to disagreements so therefore they turn it into a drama so instead of facing this issue, they run from it by trying to avoid it because of their lack of skills of dealing with it. I think people who have these issues tend to have problems such as anxiety. So they are not equipped to dealing with drama so they avoid it. So people who say they don’t do drama means all these three things so I wouldn’t put it it your dating profile or else people will think of these following things:

You have poor coping skills with a disagreement so you make things worse

You want everyone to agree with you

You won’t tell people how you feel about things they have said to you or what they did to upset you so you keep it bottled up and then you explode because you never spoke up

You will not discuss things to resolve an issue or hear a different perspective

 

These are the types of people other people would want to avoid to so put “I don’t do drama” or “I don’t like drama” in your profile would make them steer clear of you because of the picture you gave them. Also people who put they don’t do drama indicates they have gotten into a lot of drama in the past so that might also give you a picture of them about how they always get into fights and they can’t handle it maturely so it does become a drama than a discussion. Also it could indicate silent treatments because you have gotten them so upset, now they don’t want to talk to you and they won’t even discuss it with you in a civil manner. Instead they would rather not talk about it and keep quiet about it.

Sadly I am someone who doesn’t handle false accusations well so I do try to avoid drama because I can’t handle someone thinking wrong of me and getting the wrong idea about me because it gives me anxiety and then I am obsessed about it and those thoughts are intrusive and they distract me and then I am very upset and I don’t like it. I always feel attacked or feel someone is trying to pick a fight with me when they have the wrong idea about me. Supposedly getting very upset about it means what they are saying is true but it boggles my mind why false accusations wouldn’t upset someone. So the reason why I try to avoid drama is because of the affect it does on me. But what I don’t understand is why this would mean they like drama. I watch Dr. Phil, I read books with drama in them, I also read internet drama but I do not like being in it. There is a difference. But I don’t understand how people who don’t like drama means they like being in it. That makes no sense because it always stresses me out and gets me very upset and then I can’t stop thinking about it and it affects me so why would I like being in it if this is what it does to me? So I avoid it to avoid this. Maybe some people don’t like people who avoid drama so they steer clear of “I don’t do drama” people for the reasons I listed above.

 

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