This was a post I wrote on a forum just now about relationships and if you ever had one.
I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 20 and that was a disaster. It turns out he had a undiagnosed mental illness so that probably explains his “laziness” and his “mind games” and “manipulation” and his cognitive memory issues and so on. That relationship only lasted three months.
Then I had another short relationship when I was 21 and that was also a disaster. I recently got a triggering message from my ex and she told me (back then she was a he when we were together) she had Borderline Personality Disorder (and three other medical conditions she mentioned). BPD is often compared to narcissism because they share the same features but the difference is they fear abandonment and they go from caring about you to acting like they don’t care which they call splitting. But what upset me what she denied how she treated me by saying she did none of that stuff to me she said I did. She found my blog and left a comment there. But it opened wounds again and I had anxiety all day about it because of the gaslighting and not taking any responsibility and I find it hard to believe that she cares about me to this day because if she really cared, then why would she abandon me, why would she ignore me and disappear and leave me in distress? But she admitted to the Dish Network think and said she “took too long” to give it to me and apologized for putting me through such stress. If she would have also apologized for how she treated me and take responsibility for it, that would have been fine than saying “sorry you feel this way about me.” But I am scared it’s one of those narc apologies so I didn’t approve the post and I marked it as spam so I wouldn’t see anymore of her messages in the future and I also didn’t respond to it. She didn’t want to make any amends and I could tell by how she wrote her “apology.”
TLDR: Both my relationships were a disaster because both my ex’s had too many problems and neither of them lasted long but they both had affected me.
Now I am happily married to a great guy and yes he has had to listen to my sorrow stories about my ex’s.