Do abusers deserve an understanding

Sunday, September 4th, 2016

if they have any medical conditions?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a medical condition and so is Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and of course Covert Narcissism.

NPD and BPD are both the same to victims I keep hearing.

My ex sent me a message a few days ago and said she does have AS plus BPD, schizoaffective the bipolar type and PTSD. But she denied she did any of this stuff to me I said she did and only admitted to the Dish Network part and apologized for putting me through such stress. But said she is sorry I feel this way about her. That is not even an apology. That is putting all the blame on your victim and not taking any responsibility. She also told me how she wishes I would look up all her medical diagnoses and understand her better  and was hoping I will change how I feel about her. But do they deserve so be understood if they refuse to not accept what they have done to you and not apologize for all that?

Was my ex feeling so bad for how she treated me she had created these memories in her brain and had forgotten all about what she did in our relationship? I have noticed this pattern in abusers, they all seem to forget how they treated you. Do they really forget or do they just pretend?

I have also forgotten about stuff I have done when I would be very upset or when I was going through depression but I never ever said I did none of that stuff they said I did. In 6th grade my mom told me I had put a male cat in our garage to impregnate our kitten to punish them because I was mad at them I forget about what. I was shocked so that explained how our cat got pregnant. I had done it as a punishment.

Then a few months back as an adult my mom told me how I had abused her so I had discovered I was already violent before I decided to try and have ODD. I would pull her hair, throw things at her and she couldn’t even literally turn her back on me or I would toss something at her. So if she wanted to go to the kitchen let’s say, she had to walk backwards to the kitchen. I was also mean to my little brother too but it was verbal abuse. My mom thinks I did all this because I found them safe and trusted them so I lashed out at them to get out all my hurt feelings I had been holding in. I was shocked I was this bad but I didn’t deny it just because I didn’t remember it. My mom totally fixed me when she threatened she would put me in a hospital if I didn’t stop. I remember I moved onto self harm and then onto our dog. I told my mom I didn’t know I was this bad and I don’t remember doing it all the time and she said “few times a month was enough for me” so I then realized I didn’t do these things all the time.  All my mother had to do was make herself unsafe for me to lash out at her and make my brother unsafe too for me so that was how she fixed me from my abuse.

But did Jerry act shocked by what she read here? No she just said it was all upsetting for her to read.

Also she seemed to have objected to the name here I picked for her so does that mean she wants me to use her former real name on here or her new real name? I will not take that risk. It’s very stupid to post your ex’s real names online because that is asking for trouble. I can see why the subreddits on Reddit often say about not posting any personal information. Linking to their profiles is posting personal information or maybe linking to their other profiles from other websites that is just their user name. I think the purpose of this rule is to protect members and to avoid smear campaigns because anyone could be lying about their ex’s and they could be doing a vendetta. So it’s not about protecting the abusers.

But what if their abuse was attribute from their mental illness, do they still deserve to be understood if they aren’t taking any responsibility and they are just gaslighting you instead, especially if they had “forgotten”?

 

Also Jayden isn’t my ex’s real name either and neither is Frankie. Michael also isn’t my son’s real name either.

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