I have no idea if I already wrote about this but here it is.
I have always had issues with sleeping ever since I have been off my medicine. I used to take anti depressants and then I decided to get pregnant so I weaned myself off them as directed. I haven’t been back on any medicine since.
Before then I would sleep all through the night and get tired and just go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time. But then around age 23 I started to wean myself off the medicine and I started to have issues sleeping ever since. I can still go to sleep but it would take hours and it would be hard to fall a sleep and once I am up I can’t get back to sleep. I do go days now where I don’t get enough sleep and then i get so tired now and then I just go to bed early and no matter how early I go to bed, I still wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep so I am up for the rest of the day. So to say I need to get to bed so I get enough sleep is a understatement. My whole life I have always had issues going to sleep. Bed time was hard and even though I would be sent to bed at the same time every night, I had to lay there. I wasn’t allowed to read or play. It was lights out. When I would say I couldn’t sleep, I would get told ‘Just try.” I didn’t dare to get out of my bed to play because I would have gotten into trouble and mom yelling at me and I hated being yelled at. My mom would also give us medicine to help us sleep. I remember my brothers taking it too. One of the liquid medicines stained my front tooth so now I have a white spot on it. I had that since I was about seven.
Why do I have sleeping issues, I don’t know. All I know is my brain doesn’t want to go to sleep. Last night I made myself go to bed early because I was falling asleep and I felt my body wanted to crash so I closed my computer and turned the TV off and went to sleep. I didn’t get to sleep right away but I rested my body and I could just feel it wanted to sleep. Then I wake up and it was 3:32 in the morning and I decided to just get up since I wasn’t going back to sleep. So only a few hours of sleep. I am not sure how long I had been laying there for before I decided to just get up for the day.
Even as a kid my mom’s excuse for sending us to bed was we would be too tired the next day if we didn’t go to bed but I would wake up and still be too tired and I was never a morning person as a child. It was hard to get me moving through the morning before school so my mom would call me the Pokey Little Puppy and if I took too long getting downstairs, she would get really angry and change her voice into a screaming tone and her face would be all red. I always hated when she would get that way but it got me to move quicker because I didn’t like it and I would get all tense and anxious from it. Luckily my mom didn’t use it as a short cut to get me to move quicker every morning, she only did it if I was slower than usual which wasn’t very often. But yet when I was a baby I always got up at six so my mom got up too than forcing me to stay in my bed. Luckily none of my kids wake up that early.