Narcissists and asexuality or prudeness

Sunday, May 15th, 2016

I don’t doubt they can also be prudes and asexual because they are also human. I found a post on Lucky Otter’s Haven and it was one of her reposts to share it again and I saw I had read it months back.

Narcissists and Sex.

I decided to do some research about narcissists and asexuality and didn’t really find anything. But I found a thread on reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1v2jcs/my_nmom_is_very_prude_anyone_else_possible/

I don’t think being prude about sex is really a narcissist thing, it was just part of their personality. Not everyone likes sex and some people are asexual or a gray a. Jerry was also asexual and he was very much a prude about it and acted very immature about it. He also did not want to do any long kissing so back when I was obsessed with the movie Benny & Joon, I wanted to do long kissing to act it out and my ex kept insisting it was French Kissing. I told him I didn’t want that and I found licking tongues gross and I only wanted to do a long kiss where you keep your lips together. But he was a prude about it.

He also used sex against me even though he knew I didn’t want it all the time and when I said I was close to asexual I meant I can live without sex and I won’t go depressed if I go without it for weeks and days and months. I only have it if I want to have kids and then it will be all the time until I conceive. I may crave it once in a while and then I am done and don’t want it again.

But Jerry saw me as sexual so he used it against me. He saw anything about me as me being sexual and I made jokes about it and laughed about it and he saw that as me being sexual and used it against me. Now I know he was probably doing it for control because he is a narcissist duh. His intention was to hurt me and make me doubt myself. It’s all about control. But yet if we go by logic here about me being sexual in his view, he was also sexual. He would also talk about it and he mentioned how he would have it with his ex because she wanted it and he would tell me how her youngest daughter had it with another boy and he called it hot dog and bun. He also kept saying how he feels he is with a five year old or with an eight year old and it makes him feel like a pedophile and he didn’t want people to think he is one. Isn’t that also sexualizing, if he was so asexual, then wouldn’t he also not have felt that way about me? He may not have been into having sex and it’s a myth that asexuals are not sexual but they can be sexual. They can be sexual in their own ways but they just do not like sex, they will masturbate, have sexual fetishes, they just are not sexually attracted to someone but they can still have a relationship. They can still do sex for the sake of their partner. I don’t doubt he was truly asexual and that he found sex gross and he also didn’t like kissing but he liked short kisses. He also liked hugs and cuddles and being rubbed. People can see that as him being sexual. I didn’t and I didn’t use it against him like he did with me just because I liked certain things.

A year ago a person makes a post on Reddit about her Ndad being a prude and uses sex to shame her

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/2qo9d7/my_ndad_is_a_prude_who_uses_sex_to_shame_and/

So while asexuality and being a prude have nothing to do with narcissism, they can sure use sexuality against you and insist you are sexual and use it against you while others will use sexuality against you and call you a prude for not wanting sex or doing what they want. I also read they will withhold sex from you. I heard about lot of women doing it but I doubt they’re all narcissists. I am guilty of trying it myself but it was ineffective because I don’t have sex that much so it didn’t mater if I wouldn’t have it. Narcissists can do the same thins nons do but it’s about intention behind it. Narcissists will do it for control, a non might do it because she is tired of her husband not picking up after himself for example. But I read doing that will backfire because the man will either resent his wife or start cheating on her for sex because she is withholding it from him and they will see it as a form of control and they call it a game. To a woman’s view she is doing it because she doesn’t see why she should keep on having it with him if he is going to be a slob and not pick up after himself and she is tired of nagging him and telling him over and over to do it. Just shows how men and women’s brains work different. but yet I read it’s okay to not have sex if you are mad and upset and not in the mood.   If it happened often where a woman didn’t want sex because her partner’s messiness always got her too upset to even have it with him, then that would mean they were both incompatible and I can see their relationship failing due to lack of sex and because the man won’t start being neat for the sake of his partner.

 

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