My voice gets very high pitched when upset

Friday, May 13th, 2016

I also have an anxiety disorder so that makes me over react and freak out about things lot of people wouldn’t get upset about. I have money anxiety and I like to have our savings account untouched. It’s only used for emergencies and for car maintenance and it’s not to use for bills and fun stuff. We owed our parents money for the plumbing we had fixed to my dad finally took it out which is fine but the thin that gave me a freak out and got me very upset was when he told me he took other money out and I started to panic and freak out like our money had been getting taken as in stolen. He told me it was for other money we owed him. Owed him in what? What else did we owe him for. He said it was for bills. i freak out because we use our banking for bills, not our savings and I am very upset and I get very repetitive in speech.

When I get very upset my voice gets very high pitched, I get repetitive, and I am hard to console and calm down. Then my day is ruined and I can’t relax and I need to be alone and I am crabby and can’t be bothered by anyone and I am in no mood to communicate with anyone except for online.

But good thing I took back our card that is access to our savings because I don’t want my dad to keep taking money from it because he gets impulsive and doesn’t think and he knows I have anxiety but he still continues to tell me about money stuff and then he wonders why I am freaking out and getting too upset “over nothing.” But he can still access our account just by going to the bank and getting money out but he always needs the card for it so I feel safe because it makes it less likely to happen. My husband said he would pay back the money to our savings. I hope he can because we never can pay it back which is why I freaked out so I still feel upset about it and thinking what if he can’t do it and now I will be freaking out when he buys something we don’t need and when he wants to eat out or do anything fun because we have to go on a saving spree now to pay back the money, anything extra we have left over goes to the banking account and since our son will be done with his school soon, there will be no more monthly payments for the school and we can use part of that money to pay it back. He has taken money from our savings in the past just to buy stuff he wanted and I dunno if he ever paid it back because my husband handles it all so it’s always my fear he will spend our savings. It’s under his name because of Social Security and they don’t allow you to have above $3,000 for a married couple on it. It sucks because how in the hell are people on it supposed to have money for emergencies or to pay for car insurance, it’s like they want them to remain poor and broke.

But how is this any different than autism, I have no idea. They both get upset over things lot of people wouldn’t get upset about and they also have things a certain way and also get upset if it gets messed with like my dad did with my savings because I also have it a certain way and use it a certain way. To me they’re both the same but yet they also call it an anxiety disorder and why am I diagnosed with both is beyond me because that is like diagnosing an autistic person with dyspraxia or sensory processing disorder when they are part of it because of sensory and poor coordination issues and issues with motor skills. I have always liked things the same way as long as I can remember and would also get very upset if it got messed with. But back then it probably looked like me being a cry baby and over emotional and that I needed to toughen up and stop crying like a baby. That is what my mom used to tell me “stop crying like a two year old.” Back then I was baffled about her reaction because why would you get upset with someone for being upset because someone else had upset them by touching their things or messing it up or ruining it or taking things from them?

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