if I had more Asperger’s.
I wouldn’t have known I was different and I would have thought other kids were weird.
I wouldn’t have cared for friends nor been interested so I wouldn’t have gotten hurt feelings for rejection or been told to go away or been banned from homes
I wouldn’t have cared what other kids thought so I wouldn’t have cared if they thought I was stupid or retarded or mean or rude, etc. I would have just thought those were labels they liked to put on me and it was their problem and they had to work it out themselves. Plus I wouldn’t have had low self esteem and been thinking about killing myself by 6th grade.
I wouldn’t have been a copycat and I wouldn’t have been so frustrated with injustice because I would have thought other kids were stupid for not following the rules and it wouldn’t have confused me. I wouldn’t have cared to be normal because I would have thought I was normal and everyone else was strange so I wouldn’t have been self conscious about my body language or facial expressions and how I walk and when to stop walking and trying to figure out how to act. I wouldn’t have had all that anxiety in school and feel anxious around kids who judged me and been obsessing about being normal and trying to figure out how to act by watching other kids and getting into trouble for trying to be normal. I also wouldn’t have had behavior issues due to it.
And I think it would have been easier for my mother too because I wouldn’t have come home and told her how kids treat me and how unfair things are at school and how I am treated different, so therefore she wouldn’t have known what was going on in school and I wouldn’t have gone to mental health therapist. I would have just thought it wouldn’t have been her business and it was my own problem to figure out myself.