I came across this article and some of it reminded me of what my school did. Here are the things they did:
In 4th-6th grade they refused to understand me and punished me for trying to be normal because I didn’t know how I was supposed to act because the rules were inconsistent and they only enforced them on me
They tried to put me in a behavior class in 6th grade and tried to say I had a behavior disorder
When I was eight, the school I attended for my special program tried to say I didn’t need special ed when they found out I was not slow as they thought and I could read ignoring the fact I was still language delayed. Like hello a kid can learn in class like normal with a language disorder and also the fact they were way behind in education because they didn’t give them any normal school work other kids their age were learning in mainstream because they thought they were slow.
My school principal thought I had to toughen up when kids were picking on me
I was having seizures in 6th grade and they went un noticed until I had a grand mal one and my teacher suspected I was having them and only told the nurse instead of calling my mother to tell her her concerns
I was always punished for fighting with my bullies and I would be the only one in trouble and one time they said I had to apologize to my bullies but I had refused
At the end of 6th grade they said I didn’t need an aide so I wouldn’t have had one for 7th grade
In 4th and 6th grade I was video taped in class and all the staff did was pathologized me and made a big deal out of things I did ignoring the fact that all the other students in the video had done goofy things.
In middle school I was excluded from activities like the spelling bee because they wouldn’t tell me about it and they also didn’t tell me about the honor roll trip
In high school the teachers including my aide tried to limit my career and classroom choices. My aide thought I couldn’t do driver’s ed, my teachers thought I couldn’t do drama when I was 17, they tried to tell me working at a McDonalds would be too fast paced for me and to noisy, they tried to limit my jobs to peopleless. Whatever happened to letting students with disabilities try and explore their careers and see what they are good at and what they can do instead of looking at the label?
When I was 17 I got cut from the softball team by the new coach and the other girls who had made the team I played better than they did
When I was 16 my school counselor saw I was selling my Game Boy and asked me what if a middle school student wanted to buy it but he would give me the money tomorrow. I told him I would wait until he had the money before giving it to him. The school counselor kept asking me the same question and I kept my answer the same. It was as if he wanted me to say I would give it to the kid and the school counselor said anyway “If you gave it to him, you might never see that kid again.” Also he would give me excuses for my problems and blamed everything on Asperger’s and told me my whole family had traits but not enough to have the diagnoses when I argued with him about how my brothers do the same things all the time, watching TV and always on the computer and they always download music. Also he was telling me what careers choices I could have all based on my diagnoses instead of looking at my skills and saying I could marry Frankie when he turns eighteen but luckily I was not into marrying younger guys and still isn’t. I do not want to date anyone five and half years younger than me.
Oh the numbering system they did in 6th grade. The school counselor in my elementary school thought it would be a great idea to rate my behavior. I always got a four or a three or lower, never a five. I was a perfectionist and wanted a perfect grade but I could never do good for them to get that perfect score. I had to be perfect.
And my mother told me she always had to fight with my elementary school to follow my IEP and I was illegally suspended once and they waited three days to tell my mother and the school counselor had went to my mom’s work and told her right there in front of her student that I had been suspended and as the result of my mom taking her attention off her student, she got bit because it was his way to get her attention because he was non verbal. Then as a result for him he had to get a time out.
My elementary school saw me as a behavior problem and wanted to do things their way instead of working with me but instead I worked against their system because it was ineffective
And I am not sure if this should count as ableism but I would advise if you want to do this with a student, let them know about it before you set them up with a buddy and make sure they are okay with it or else it can backfire. In 8th grade these girls would come in the recourse room to do projects with me and we got along well and I always talked about my interests like favorite movie, favorite video game, telling blonde jokes. Then it turned out it was all a set up and those girls were volunteers to help me get along with kids and to build my social and relationship skills. They turned out to not be my real friends because it was all a set up. No wonder we got along. I was not happy. Then things were not the same after that and when I started high school, our “friendship” drifted. They moved on but the two girls remained close to each other as always.
But luckily I didn’t get any trauma from my schools.