This morning my kids were playing. My son was making noise again and running and so was my little girl. Then she didn’t want to play anymore so she laid on the couch with me and covered herself up. But her brother kept getting near her and bothering her and she would shriek and yell and push him away but he kept at it. I told him to leave her alone because I didn’t want to listen to her shrieking and the commotion was raising up my stress level making me tense. I couldn’t listen to it and handle it anymore so I start shouting myself telling him to go away, leave, get out of here. Even my dad told him his sister didn’t want to play and she was tired. I didn’t know this about her except that my son was bothering her so she was reacting. But my son kept at it and wouldn’t leave her alone and I kept shouting at him. I even told him he would go to his room if he bothered her one more time and then I said I would just take his sister and I would just take her to room room and he would be down here alone with grandpa. He just sat close by and didn’t keep bothering her but instead gave her a pillow and she played with it. Then I remember I was grabbing him and holding him tight to get him to leave his sister alone. He started to squirm and wriggle and said I was hurting him. I told him he needed to leave his sister alone and I will let go of him. I did and he just whimpered instead on the other chair. Then he went back to watching his 3DS eventually leaving us alone finally. I even suggested he play with his Legos to give him something to do but he refused.
I go back and think about the evaluation report I got back from the school district and I keep thinking what is things they said were right. What if my son wasn’t understanding that his little sister didn’t want to play because he wanted to play so he thought she wanted to play too not realizing she had her own idea what she wanted? But this would be something to tell my son’s pediatrician about when Mom and I go see him. Plus we will take him to get professionally tested so here I am trying to keep on eye out on “signs” that could indicate a disorder. But now I feel bad because I feel I am now pathologizing my child. But I think the professionals would know what is normal right? After all they are the specialists and are really trained in these things. What would the school district know? They are not doctors or specialists which is why they don’t diagnose.
Now my kid is playing with Legos. He does not want his little sister to play with him and touching his Legos. He will say “I don’t want MB touching my Legos” in a tone of voice like he is yelling. Is this normal? I will ask the doctor about that too and write this all down so I won’t forget about it. I will start making a list of things which makes me feel guilty because I feel I am being so negative about him and pathologizing him treating him like there is something wrong with him because he isn’t acting the way I like him to be. But the doctor will tell me for sure. I can’t tell him about school because I am not there to see it. This brings me back memories about what my school used to do with me, document every little thing I do they didn’t like or thought was weird or wrong but I bet they wouldn’t have batted an eye if another kid did something unusual or weird or silly. I am sure my mom showed that log to my psychiatrist and psychologist. I guess it can be a good thing when this does happen because it helps the experts figure it out like if the kid has a problem or not or if what they are doing is normal or if their behavior is normal but it’s caused by the environment and it can help them diagnose accurately.
Now my son is having his breakfast as I finish this post.