Update on my son’s report

Thursday, March 10th, 2016

My mom went through the report with me about my son and told me why she thinks it’s all wrong.

Makes noises while he plays-he is playing with his toys and making appropriate sounds like vroom vroom for example when he plays with cars

Chewing on sleeves, biting his nails,-she has never seen him do that. I told her he does it in school so it must be school behavior and she said “that is just him being nervous, not him doing self stimulation”

Likes to be naked at home-he strips to his underwear, oops. He wants to show off his underwear. It’s not a tactile issue.

Doesn’t like getting his hair washed- there’s a contradiction, “likes baths and showers” and he always runs through the sprinkler when it’s hot out so of course he likes getting his hair wet

Has a hard time going to bed-that is a parenting issue and he has gotten better

Says the vacuum is too loud-he says it because he is watching TV and he has said it while she was vacuuming and then he tells her it’s too loud, please turn it off, she does and then he tells her she can turn it on again when the show ends or commercial comes on. Also oops because he has never done this with me, only told me the vacuum is loud so i tel him to leave the room then and he can come back when I am done vacuuming.

Picky eating-lot of kids are

Gets over stimulated in class-there are too many kids in his class and he did better with a smaller class last year so he probably can’t handle a big class

He is hyper-he is just hyper

Yes he does have some delays and had them in his toddler years so she thinks it might have attributed to the score and she thinks they looked too much into his behavior. He had troubles in school, because he is hungry and never eats before school and us parents have to feed him. My son just chooses to not eat and I can’t make him.

So she talks to the person on the phone who spoke with me on Wednesday about the report and my mom told her why she disagrees with it and wanted copies of the evaluation and then she goes on talking and saying how she has been through this with me and how concerned she is about the label and how it will affect him and she wanted to get him professionally tested and she always had to do that with me with my school and they always gave her copies of their evaluation reports they used so the professionals can look at the scoring system. The school district person said she couldn’t do that by law and my mom said she didn’t understand because she has always gotten copies in the state of Washington when we lived there and where she lost me was when she said her concern is how teachers might refuse to lower their standards because of the label because that is what happened with me as a child. What does it mean to lower your standards and how does the ASD category got to do with it? My mom also said she has always had to do my IEPs. I over heard her say to my mom it wasn’t a diagnoses and my mom said she knows that but she is just concerned about how it will reflect on my son by the teachers when they see it. I over heard the school district person tell her the same things she told me at the building. She doesn’t think my son needs to be in any special classes and he can be in normal classes, she thinks might not still need the service in three years, she thinks he will do well and keep making progress and might not need it anymore . Then of course I had to get ready for work and then my mom was talking about me as a kid and how she found ways for me to get therapy making it all fun when it’s not really therapy such as voice lessons I took to help with my voice rythem.

I am thinking I screwed up with the results when I talked and answered their questions. Maybe I took them too literal. I am always worried about accidentally getting my son mislabeled because I wouldn’t know what I am supposed to say or add, I might take the questions too literal. It’s like when I was 11 I said I heard voices when I meant people were talking or when I said when I was nine “it’s very loud” when my mom was putting shelves together in the hall closet and I did mean “it’s very loud” and I was also being literal when i said it, there was no other meaning. I learned as an adult when people say something is loud, they mean “turn it down” so basically I was implying to my mother that I wanted her to stop the pounding so no wonder she told me there was nothing she can do about it. I didn’t know at age nine  why she was being defensive when I made a comment it’s loud. At Kaiser when I was asked if my son threw tantrums, I answered yes and then they asked me “for how long, not five hours is it or all day long?” and I said “no” and they said they were making sure and they marked no. I was asked the same thing at the district when they asked how long does it last. But they still ended up with the ASD category for the IEP despite what my mom wrote, what I wrote, what my son’s pediatrician answered about any evidence of autism but he marked yes for language delay but no for autism. I thought they were just going to rule it out when they wanted to test him for it and I decided to go along with it.

So I scheduled an appointment when my son’s pediatrician and my mom wants to come with. We are going to talk about the report with him and have him read it and try and get a referral to professionals to get him tested. I don’t know if my son needs to be there or not but the person making the appointment for me thought it should be best I bring him.

 

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