Trying to help the depressed

Sunday, March 6th, 2016

I have read this thread on Wrongplanet about depression. HisMom wrote about how people don’t want to be around other depressed people because it’s hard top be around them when they pass their misery onto others. Most people don’t have the ability to deal with other peoples negative emotions. Most people are not going to think all that person needs is some love and they will be happy after they give it to them.

I am in the minority. I have talked to depressed people online and listen to their stories and be there for them to make them happy, I have tried to help Jayden because I figured his problem was his parents and his mother was doing nothing to help him so I was helping him. Then I realized he just didn’t want to work and he found excuses and no wonder his parents were not bothering. I felt sorry for his mother because of what she has to deal with but I think that is her problem because she chooses to not kick him out and have him be homeless and figure it out himself. Jerry on the other hand was also depressed so I also tried to cheer him up by listening to his stories and being there for him and I didn’t judge him for what he liked and wore and he was depressed because of his ex wife so I just wanted to support him. But instead he put his misery on others by putting me down and my parents down behind their backs, being very negative in general about people and thinking others have it better than him. Some people do act narcissist when they are depressed so it is a possibility he wasn’t  narcissist and it was just his depression making him act that way? But narcissist people do have low self esteem and don’t like themselves so that is why they act the way they do. It’s just a myth that they love themselves and have very high self esteem.

I used to talk to another person online who was diagnosed with Bipolar and Asperger’s but she was very miserable because she got whipped when she was 18 for throwing things and other people went on trips and got spoiled by their parents and she had to do it all on her own and pay for her own things and they didn’t get whipped. So she had to put them down calling them spoiled brats. She also wanted to make up stories about herself to look better than everyone. I think she was heading for narcissism. She even wanted to spread a rumor on her ex who had hurt her that he is a pedophile to destroy him so I told her that will only make it worse for herself because people can find out she lied and that will make her look bad and lose trust in her. I had to block her because I was tired of her bitter attitude and couldn’t deal with it anymore. She also did have issues with being jealous so it made her miserable and put others down for having it better than her.

You can’t always help the depressed and it’s not like once you give them something they will be happy and not be depressed anymore. That may be true for some people. Me being with Jayden didn’t make his depression go away, me being with Jerry didn’t make his depression go away and me trying to make this other person happy online didn’t make her depression go away when I would tell her the positive and how there are others out there who actually have it worse so her life is better than theirs. Instead she turned it back around on me the next day by twisting it by telling me I had no right to tell her how to feel and how to not be unhappy acting like as if I had trivialized her feelings and stuff. She said she had every right to be upset about how she was whipped at 18. But she had totally missed the whole point then what I was telling her the day before and since it took her a whole day to the next day to figure out what to tell me, I think it was all planned and she just wanted to justify her behavior, not because she truly felt that way or otherwise she would have told me that right after I told her. Talk about narcissism. But real narcissists are better at it because they know what to say right away than having to think about what to say to justify and to gaslight to make you look like the crazy one and in the wrong. But because she waited like 24 hours to fire it back at me, I was more annoyed that she was twisting my words than acting like I was doing the other thing making it look like a misunderstanding. If we were talking in PM or email, that might have been a different story because it’s hard to tell then because they could not be on the forum at the time when you send them your message and then they read it the next day and reply when they have the time.

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