My Moment

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

This weekend my mother and I planned to give my children their own bedroom so we were going to start with the Christmas stuff we still have in my husband’s bedroom. I took the tree down but didn’t know how to pack the ornaments because they came in different boxes and when I lived on my own, I kept my ornaments in certain boxes and that got messed up when we and my parents moved in together and then things got mixed up and when we took the Christmas stuff down on the main floor, they got packed away and my Christmas stuff was still up so that threw me off. So it’s been sitting in the basement ever since and we needed to get that out of the way before we started. So we decided we would start on Saturday. I looked forward to that day and that day came and we were going to wait until my husband was up and mu parents made plans and it was only early in the day so they had time and I figured they would be back because they were only going to the falls. That wouldn’t take long.

So they are gone and noon comes and I still wait and do my day and then two o clock comes and I start to get anxious. I call my parents to see where they are and when they will be home. I keep trying to get a hold of them and I finally do and my dad answers but it’s bad reception. He said they were in a town nearby now far from where we live and they were looking around. I saw they had done other things than just the falls so they had been done. I ask my dad when they will be home and he said he would talk to my mother and call me back.

I get even more anxious and I start to feel to meltdown so I get anxiety and then I blow up and start panicking and quit caring about my Christmas stuff. I just pick everything up and put it all in the garage and my husband puts the Christmas tree storage bag in the garage and I am flipping out and very irritable and I can’t calm down so I hide in my room and cry and I am breathing hard. I don’t want to be bothered, no hugs or consoling.

Then my parents come home and I don’t feel like going with the plan and my husband tells them I am very upset and my mom gets mad at me and starts telling me she said they would be home early noon and she won’t be a hostage in her own home because my husband is sleeping. I feel even worse and scream at her to get out.  I hated myself and wondered why couldn’t I even remember right. I over hear my dad say I will get over it and I just stay in my room alone and I start to calm down a few minutes later and do my computer again. Then my mom comes back apologizing for our miscommunication and told me she did the Christmas stuff and she doesn’t think the ornaments will break because there are lot of soft ornaments around them giving them cushioning. Then she asked me if I still wanted to do the rooms and I said yes and we work on my husband’s room and moving my bed down here.

I felt embarrassed about my episode and I hate it when I get that way.



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