Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/3yo9hu/childrens_behaviour_needs_addressing_or_parents/

 

This made me cringe because when I was reading it, I was thinking poor parents because I thought their kids were out of control so they were doing their best to keep them under control.

Before I had kids, I used to just think kids who acted that way was a result of bad parenting but after having my son, I see kids are sometimes beyond your control because they have their own personalities and their own attitudes and you can’t always control them. I have had to hold my son before and there is he struggling and screaming and I am having anxiety on the inside because I have no idea that I am being judged or not because of the way my son is acting. I have left places because of that behavior but this was an airport so what were the parents supposed to do? They maybe had a plane to catch so should they miss their flight? Maybe they are going to a  funeral? Maybe a wedding and they are taking their kids with to show them off and so their families can see them.

My son is full of energy so he gets rambunctious and bored. When he gets bored, he acts up and misbehaves and nothing can get him to calm down and to be good. That is why I avoid taking him out, I try to avoid long lines and I refuse to being him anywhere by myself because it’s too overwhelming. But yet he acts better when my husband is with so I know he can help it. My son has been upset when we would leave places and I would refuse to turn the stroller around and let him back inside because my mind was made up and he had disrespected me enough and wouldn’t listen to me so this was his lesson. But you can’t do that in a airport.

I sometimes do wonder if my mom is right that he has ADHD because that would explain his rambunctiousness and why he can’t wait and why long lines are hard for him while two year olds seem to have no problems waiting in long lines. My son just easily gets bored. I got bored when I was a kid and it was torture but I wouldn’t start getting hyper and acting up and being impuslive and running around like him and not listening. I think he can help it but it’s very hard because it is possible to finally break him but it’s very hard. see the My mistake of bringing my son to a Zelda concert. Why was I finally able to break him there? Because it was after remission and I sat in the empty seats this time where no one sat and I had power this time because I could remove him from the auditorium once it started again and I let him cry out in the lobby and scream because he wanted to go back inside and I wouldn’t let him. I was punishing him for not listening to me during the performance so we were now out there watching it on the screen. I told him he had to show me he could be quiet first and listen before we go back inside. So after a long time of his tantrum and then he was quiet because he was playing his 3DS, I reminded him of the rules again and I brought him back inside and right when he started to act up again, I told him if he didn’t sit still and be quiet, we would leave again and this time he was still as a statue. He did want to be there and the poor kid just looked bored because I made him sit still and follow the rules. I finally had power so he listened and could finally help himself all because there were all these empty seats which was a fortunate because it gave me power as a parent. But I did learn to never bring him to one of those things again unless it’s Disney on ice or a Children’s Play. He would have to show me first he could listen and be quiet and sit still before I take him to one of those things again where you have to be quiet and sit still and not move around in your seat and play in it and not make any sounds.

I used to think people were stupid and didn’t get it if they made me do certain  things before I was allowed to do something but now after having kids I get it now because I now want proof he can do it before I actually have him do something. I do not want to take risks and bring him somewhere only to waste money or to ruin it for others and I did think about leaving and was going to but couldn’t because I couldn’t get up during the performance with all the people in the way so that was why I sat in the empty seats with no one around and why I brought him to the lobby to teach him a lesson and I did feel bad for the people around me. What if they had just told me I can take him out and they get out of their seats to let us by and I would thank them for letting us get up during the performance because I was struggling to control him and to get him to listen and follow the rules. I didn’t yell or raise my voice. I never even take my son to movies because I worry he wouldn’t be able to sit still and be quiet and I miss half of the movie and money is wasted so before i would take him to any movies, he would have to show me at home he can sit still and be quiet by doing that during movies at home. Plus movies are expensive now anyway so it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t be taking him there anyway. Maybe if it was a rated G movie that might be fine because it will be filled with kids and there will be talking and noise and it’s the time for parents to try and teach their kids movie theater rules and G movies are a start before they go to any PG movies. But I think my son would be more disruptive than other kids because he is so hyper and rambunctious and gets bored even if he does want to be there and see it. he has to be moving and making noise. when my son was able to be quiet and sit still at the concert I wonder how much energy he was actually putting into following the rules than being able to enjoy the concert because he had to use most of it on being still and quiet? Like my mom told me, it was all unfair to him and she agreed I did screw up and made a mistake. Then he had to get punished for it because I had to be consistent. Every time he wanted to play Mario Maker, I always had to remind him about the concert and his behavior there and that was why he didn’t have the game anymore so he understood why we didn’t have the game anymore because I had to tell him why by bringing up the concert and how he acted there.

 

But back to the Reddit post, the parents there chewed the OP out and he took it well. Then it was locked because it violated the rules there about creating drama. I was going to say that some kids are more rambunctious than others and parents can’t always control them no matter what they do so sometimes holding them is the only way to keep them from running around and what would he rather have, kids running around and parents doing nothing or having them do something about it by holding them down because that is the only way to keep them from running around. Kids are not puppets so they don’t always respond to punishment s or consequence no matter what you tell them at the airport. What kind of punishments can you give them there and what if there was nothing to take away to punish them? What if they don’t care about if you will take something away on the trip such as their game system or their favorite toy? What if they don’t care about a time out there? Also as someone else had mentioned, what if the children were special needs and were having a sensory overload?

 

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