For Christmas my mom got me a Dr. Phil book. It’s about life like how to spot the bad people and why they do things. It’s called Life Code. My mom got me that book because I love the show and watch it all the time and I am always reading stuff online and have a hard time figuring out what to believe. So she got me a book that is written by a professional so I will figure out what things to not listen to online.
I remember we were just talking and I said how I wished I knew the red flags when I was dating but they don’t teach it in high school and I think everyone should learn red flags before they start dating. My mom told me they didn’t have that then and internet dating was new then. I told her people were dating before the internet and they had dating ads so red flags must have been known already and weren’t they in books or in brochures and my mom said no because you learn from personal experience and learn things in life when you go through things.
Now with the internet now, you can pretty much read about anything now, narcissism is one of them and learning about abuse and what it is and now everyone can learn the red flags. But unfortunately even narcissists and abusers have access to that information to so they can just modify their behavior so they won’t fit the list and that is scary.
But I am still surprised none of the red flags stuff was ever taught and not known over the years because surely professionals would have written about it and I am sure women would have written memoirs about being in a abusive relationship and they have also been in therapy and I am sure a therapist would have written a book about it to help other women so they can spot an abuser before it starts.
I just had to learn all this too late but my mom said it’s something I can teach my children now and I said if I had known these red flags when dating, I wouldn’t have been with my husband because I would have thought he was a future abuser because of the red flags he was showing which were false red flags I call it.
My mom tried to see the positive perk in me meeting Jerry, it got me to move out here and I met my husband that way but I told her I still ask myself if I didn’t date him, would I have still moved out here, my aunt and uncle lived here so I could have just moved here and lived with them right away but would I have still met my husband without him. Sometimes bad mistakes can turn out positive.