Archive for December 26th, 2015

When couples from the same forum date

Saturday, December 26th, 2015

I had noticed on Wrongplanet about two people dating. Several times I would see two members dating and then there is a break up and then one of them is posting about their ex on there. It’s always a disaster and after realizing how much of a narcissist Jerry was, I feel rather foolish. I also posted stuff about him on there eight years back because I was hurt by him and he was a member there but he didn’t post. He lurked there. I bet he enjoyed seeing all that and I wonder how a narcissist reacts when they see a blog written about them by their former victim.

There was another couple there who dated and one of them also kept posting about her issues with her ex and they were all considered attacks according to a former moderator so he also suggested to her she do a private blog about that. Years later she said in my thread on a  forum how her ex was also a psychopath narcissist and how another person was right about him.

There was another couple on Wrongplanet and one of them would also post about her partner but her ex joined I2 and said she isn’t what she makes herself to be.

Obviously there are two sides to the story so we don’t know who the abuser is or who the narc is. On Wrongplanet was it the girl who was the narc or the ex who joined I2?

Since it seems like it always ends up in a disaster when two members date and then break up, I wonder how many hidden narcissists are on Wrongplanet? I already suspect there is an abuser that posts there and I won’t say who it is, it’s just what they have said about victims and abusers and that person acts like there is no such thing as abuse. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt but then I realized I was right about that person the first time. It wouldn’t surprise me if that person is a narcissist. That person had also written how people prefer to live in their magical world about feelings so that gives me a bad feeling that person cannot empathize because after all that person relies on logic than feeling according to them. Narcissists cannot feel for someone, they have no empathy, they do not get feelings or different perspective. That person fits my mom’s stereotype of an aspie. To her that is a real aspie. Plus that person has said about women on ASParterns how narcissists they are. Talk about projection. Also it doesn’t surprise me anymore when narcissists think their victims are narcissists. Are they really that delusional? Even a normie member told that person on the forum that they had proved her right.

Narcissists are hidden because they can act like decent people and be charming and sweet and nice and loyal and very caring. You can know someone for years and not know they are a narcissist. I found out that my husband’s old friend is a narcissist because I still have his ex wife on my Facebook friends and she was posting these word pictures and they were about abuse and narcissism and she had in one of them how you don’t always know the person you knew since childhood and they turn out to be narcissist and I also saw she was divorced and she kept posting about domestic abuse. I also saw she no longer had her husband as her friend on there. It was obvious who she was talking about after I put two and two together and I didn’t ask her about it. I just knew. She told me she and him had known each other since childhood and were friends and have been for years when my husband and I attended their wedding. Of those three times we have seen them, they always looked like a happy couple and there might have been abuse going on and I didn’t know that. Victims can hide it too and act happy. I was shocked when I found out my husband’s old friend was a narcissist and I never asked my husband about it or if he knew about the divorce and the drama. So they might even be on your forum and you wouldn’t know it. They could even be on autism forums and you wouldn’t know it. But it would not surprise me if that one person on the forum is a narcissist. But I bet if we know the red flags, we might be able to see them more because we will know how to spot them.

This post might say it all.



My mom’s gift

Saturday, December 26th, 2015

For Christmas my mom got me a Dr. Phil book. It’s about life like how to spot the bad people and why they do things. It’s called Life Code. My mom got me that book because I love the show and watch it all the time and I am always reading stuff online and have a hard time figuring out what to believe. So she got me a book that is written by a professional so I will figure out what things to not listen to online.

I remember we were just talking and I said how I wished I knew the red flags when I was dating but they don’t teach it in high school and I think everyone should learn red flags before they start dating. My mom told me they didn’t have that then and internet dating was new then. I told her people were dating before the internet and they had dating ads so red flags must have been known already and weren’t they in books or in brochures  and my mom said no because you learn from personal experience and learn things in life when you go through things.

Now with the internet now, you can pretty much read about anything now, narcissism is one of them and learning about abuse and what it is and now everyone can learn the red flags. But unfortunately even narcissists and abusers have access to that information to so they can just modify their behavior so they won’t fit the list and that is scary.

But I am still surprised none of the red flags stuff was ever taught and not known over the years because surely professionals would have written about it and I am sure women would have written memoirs about being in a abusive relationship and they have also been in therapy and I am sure a therapist would have written a book about it to help other women so they can spot an abuser before it starts.

I just had to learn all this too late but my mom said it’s something I can teach my children now and I said if I had known these red flags when dating, I wouldn’t have been with my husband because I would have thought he was a future abuser because of the red flags he was showing which were false red flags I call it.

My mom tried to see the positive perk in me meeting Jerry, it got me to move out here and I met my husband that way but I told her I still ask myself if I didn’t date him, would I have still moved out here, my aunt and uncle lived here so I could have just moved here and lived with them right away but would I have still met my husband without him. Sometimes bad mistakes can turn out positive.