False red flags

Saturday, December 19th, 2015

We often hear about red flags and I have seen some of those red flags in me and my husband. If I had known those red flags then, we wouldn’t have been together.

Last night I was wrapping more presents and somehow the top of my ex popped into our conversation, I don’t remember why. I just remember I brought her up as a reference for something. But anyway it leaded to about how my parents saw right through him when we met. These red flags were; we had just met and right away he had wanted to meet me, that is one right there. Another one was he was already bad mouthing his ex girlfriend and saying how abusive she is and talking about how bad his life is so that was two right there. Right away they could pick up on this man was bad news and an abuser, this is the profile of them.

My husband and I met three weeks after we had been talking, my husband wanted a relationship right away, he was so good to be true. But yet I still didn’t learn from my first two mistakes. If I had learned the second time, I wouldn’t have been with my husband because of the red flags he showed which were false red flags.

Anyone that has been in a abusive relationship will be more judgmental and assume someone is bad news even if they are wonderful people because they don’t want to be hurt again and get into another abusive relationship. It sucks for the other person but it’s also understandable why the person would reject them due to the false red flags.

My false red flags were bad talking my ex boyfriends and how bad they were and how much they had hurt me with their behavior and talking about how slow I am and how bad my self help skills are and probably exaggerating my issues because I had actually believed them so I had low self esteem thanks to Jerry. If my husband knew about red flags, he wouldn’t have been with me because of my two crappy relationships. He wouldn’t know if I am the abuser and I am just bad mouthing them for the heck of it or that I am unstable and make poor choices and I can’t even learn from my mistakes or that something is off about me if I am someone to be entering bad relationships so how would that impact my life and my decisions and also the fact I had not moved on from those relationships and not ready for another relationship.

 

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