Monday, December 7th, 2015
Where I live we get some heavy rain sometimes and this is pretty normal in our area. Streets always flood and it’s never good to have clogged storm sewers so it’s very important to keep them cleared. Today I went to take my son to school and it was pouring rain out and I was soaked. I was impatient because I wanted to get out of the rain so I rushed my son in the car and then I got mad at him when he took off his shoe because it goes wet. Then I took him to school and I saw a flooded street so I drove through it slowly. Then I arrived at the school and I put his shoe on in the car and then we got out and ran inside.
When it comes time to get him again, another part of the street is flooded so I had to turn around and go home the other way I came from. The water was up to the trees and it was above the curb so no way was I going to drive through there and risk wrecking my car.
Then at home I went back outside and got my rain coat on and got a rake and raked the leaves off the sewer in front of my house. It had a bunch of leaves and gunk and I stuck it all on the sidewalk and I kept scooping everything off the ground above the sewer and then the water went down and the water puddle disappeared. I got all the leaves off of it and the storm drain was all uncovered and water went down it. This is a common thing we do here. We either use our bare hands or long rakes to uncover the storm drains.
The only thing I am dreading is work. The max lines are delayed due to rain. I plan on leaving early around 3:50. But it’s not raining heavily anymore.
And I thought I was exaggerating in my 101 Dalmatians parody story when I had Roger and Anita’s street flooded due to the heavy rain but these things do happen in real life and people do actually canoe in them. That is what some people do in my area.
Here is a video of two people inter tubing in our area:
Here is one close my my home: http://i.imgur.com/eMkDXvU.jpg?1
Another photo but not close to my home:
Here is the thread here about it:
Monday, December 7th, 2015
When I was in my second relationship, Jerry was very paranoid. He always worried about coming off as a pedophile so he refused to do anything that would make people think he is one. He even didn’t like having anything to do with me if he felt I was acting too childish so it was like I had to change who I was to satisfy him. I was also an embarrassment to him and he didn’t like my little quirks or anything I did even if it was me playing my Nintendo DS or reading a book while waiting or doing it in groups. He also assumed what others thought of him and always worried too much what others would think. He also worried people were judging him based on what car he drove. This is also part of social anxiety where people worry they are being judged or that others are looking at them but how can you tell if this was the narcissism or just him having social anxiety?
In our relationship he has accused me of intentionally doing things or me being mad at him. One example is when I was tired so I snapped at him in the car and in his bed and he kept saying I was mad at him. I explained to him I was tired so I get crappy and grumpy especially when I get disturbed and I can’t even listen because I am tired and want to be left alone but he still kept saying I was mad at him totally ignoring what I was saying.
Another time we were in downtown walking and we come by a automatic drinking fountain where water comes out and down the drain. I show him a neat trick I had learned a year back and you put your finger over it and make the water squirt out like it’s a hose. I show it to him but instead I accidentally get him in the face when I meant for it to go the other direction. I started laughing and I apologized because I didn’t mean for that to happen and he said I did it on purpose. I tell him it was an accident and tell him what direction I was trying to make it go but he still said it was on purpose.
Another time we were in California and it was after we picked his son up. We were in a hotel room and it was early morning. Everyone was still sleeping but me. I get out of bed and get on his computer and I look at defunct amusement parks. I go to a webpage and I have no idea it will play music. It does and it wakes everyone up and I try to turn it down and I am apologizing for it. Jerry said I did that on purpose and I tell him I did not because I didn’t know it was going to play music and I tried to turn it down but the computer wouldn’t let me because it was going too slow. He still said I did it on purpose.
Okay was this his “Asperger’s” that made it hard for him to judge if it was intentional or an accident but IMO if you can’t even trust your own partner so you think their actions are intentional and they always have to defend themselves because you are too paranoid to even believe them, the relationship is bad. I decided never again will I let anyone treat me this way and if they can’t even believe me and think I have some agenda or think I am doing them on purpose, good bye. I don’t care if you are autistic or have social anxiety or have any trust issues, but if you are going to behave this way which is abuse, I don’t need to deal with it. For all I know this is also a characteristic of narcissism and emotional abuse. Abuse is abuse so it doesn’t matter why someone is doing it. The behavior is all it matters. One thing that always gets to me is people not listening. Which is why I tried to listen to Jerry only to dismiss my own feelings and think I was going crazy and thinking I was being paranoid because his own actions were contradicting his words. I was treating him how I would like to be treated. I want people to listen to me so I listened to him but instead I had let the abuse happen because I was unaware of it. But after all isn’t that what you are supposed to do in relationships, trust your partner, listen to him and you wouldn’t even think they would harm you which is how relationship abuse happens and why we stay. He claimed to have anxiety, PTSD, depression, Asperger’s so I ignored myself and tried to be understanding but instead I ended up hurt at the end so I had decided after that no more paranoid people. I will not be hurt by another one again. If anyone ever falsely accuses me and not believe me, I am gone because I do not want those people in my life. They have their own problems they need to sort out in therapy and deal with themselves. To me they are toxic.
I know not all paranoid people are narcissists when they worry about being judged or what others are thinking or when they think people are being mean to them or getting embarrassed by others who they are with such as their own child or partner. So I wouldn’t even label every single paranoid person as one unless they show enough symptoms of narcissism.
Monday, December 7th, 2015
He is a great kid and very loyal. he loves his little sister and looks out for her and he loves me and always wants to be with me. But he is so wild and acts out of control and I can’t even get him to do his school work, it’s a struggle so home school would be out of the question. I would be screwed if public school didn’t work for him and there is no way we can afford private school for him when he starts going full days. He also has problems with waiting and being patient. I still love him of course. He is a great kid but he overwhelms me when he is hyper or whiny or doesn’t listen. I hate screaming at him. Today my brother was over with his kids and I had to run to Safeway to get powdered sugar to make the frosting for the sugar cookies and I also got more baby wipes and ordered a cake for my son’s party for this coming weekend. But when I got back, my brother had left and my mom told me he wanted to make cookies and my son’s hyperactivity got too much for the boys so they left. I said to my mother just imagine if he had ADHD, that would be so much worse and my mom said “I think he does.” I said “he’s four, isn’t that normal at this age” and she said “They’re not this hyper” and I said “what is the difference between him and a normal four year old.” She told me he is normal so I said “I meant without ADHD” and she mentioned my nephew and said “Now you know what normal is since you are saying that in front of your kid.” Then i asked if I was like that hyper at his age and she said “No, you don’t have ADHD” and I said “but didn’t I have ADD” and she said “you never had it, you had” and then she cut herself off as if she didn’t want to say the word Asperger’s. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid so was she telling me now I didn’t have that when she told me I did but it was a misdiagnoses? Maybe she meant ADHD when she said that. He is so full of energy so he always needs movement and he hates being still or waiting long turns. But then he is all calm when he gets engaged in something like his video game or youtube or when he is doing something he wanted like when it he finally got to decorate his cookie, he was all calm all of a sudden and no longer hyper and rambunctious.
He doesn’t have any diagnoses yet but he is in early intervention and he has teachers that work with him. He also frequently loses things so I try to limit toys in the home and I decided after Christmas, I should rotate with them like keep some in the garage and then bring them inside and bring the other toys out.
I would think a label would be given if he had any disabilities but maybe someday in the future he will get one. Plus not everyone likes to label children at this young age so they might have been avoiding labeling him and only focusing on what he needs help in.