What really grinds my gears is semantics. I am not talking about people who name objects wrong or use the wrong phrases or people who don’t realize the connotation of the word that could lead to misunderstandings. I am talking about people who nitpick, words that mean the same thing in the context.
For example I was on a forum and we were all talking about political correctness. The term welfare queen comes up and another person writes how the PC term for it could be welfare cheater.
But here is a problem. People think someone is cheating the system based on what they wear, what they buy, what they own, what car they are driving. They do not consider it might be their parents car or a friends car or a neighbor’s car they are borrowing and they don’t know if the nice stuff they have is what they bought before they hit hard times and they don’t know if they have family members that buys them nice things and you can find good things at Goodwill or at yard sales and sometimes people just buy you nice things for gifts. So I wrote to him that those two terms would still be offensive because they are judgmental terms. I wrote that people assume someone is cheating the system based on what car they drive, etc. I wrote the same thing I pretty much wrote here already. But people can argue that not using these terms is politically correct. Then I wrote that there are people that cheat the system but they are the 1% so anyone who gets labeled as the welfare queen, I think they are just being judged rather than it being the truth and if anyone ever told me they know someone who is doing it, I would be asking them questions so I will see if they are assuming or if it’s the truth.
Now the annoying part. The guy replies back and his response was fine when he said people have the strong tenancy to apply stereotypes. He wrote he also tries to avoid them but isn’t always successful, then he said what I wrote was an example of a stereotype. Why? Because I didn’t write the word suspicion, instead I used the word assume. So if I wrote people always have suspicions someone is cheating the system” that would have been okay by his standard but what is the difference. Isn’t it still making an assumption? Then he goes on about nitpicking the two words and that is like nitpicking between the two words “shouting” and “screaming.”
I have seen people online judge others for being on food stamps or WIC and so on and they come to that conclusion from seeing what car they drive or what stuff they own and how they have their hair or nails. Isn’t that an assumption? Call it a suspicion if you like. I can see a fat person and have my suspicions they are that way because they don’t work out and don’t eat healthy and all they eat is TV dinners and candy and never work out but if I use the word assume, it would still mean the same thing. Sure you can look words up in the dictionary and each of them will have their own meaning but in context they mean the same thing and people don’t use words the way the dictionary defines the term. Screaming, shouting, shrieking, hollering, yelling all mean the same and big, fat, chubby, cow, pig, all mean the same about the word fat. I even think naive is a nice way of calling someone ignorant.It depends on the context like if someone lacks knowledge or doesn’t understand something people can call them naive or ignorant. But because words have negative meanings, people use other words that don’t have a negative connotation to it because they don’t want to insult them. Like some people might say children are ignorant which is true but they are also naive because they don’t know any better. You can try and explain disabilities to a child and they might still not understand but it’s not willful ignorance because it’s too above their level for them to understand. You can call it naivety or ignorance and there is a difference between willful ignorance and ignorance. But some people just want to nitpick over a word and because you used the wrong word for someone, they dismiss what you say and judge you and all and start accusing you. I felt this person here was calling me a liar because he accused me of doing a stereotype when I was talking about what I had seen online. The months of reading debates at Babycenter about welfare and what people should have while on it and how people should sell everything they have before getting on it or else they are cheating the system. So yes I have learned that people have their own standards on about being on welfare and how people jump to conclusions about a stranger cheating the system and was there any apology from the person, no. But people rarely apologize anyway so I let things go now these days.
I used to do this shit when I was a kid like my 5th grade teacher would tell me to close my notebook. I would refuse until he told me to close my binder because it was a binder, not a notebook. In 6th grade my mom would say “No Nintendo” and I would refuse to not play video games unless she said ‘No Sega” and I knew what these people meant, I just wanted people to talk “right.” My therapist I saw in high school called this all non compliant. I realized as a young adult how annoying this shit is so I stopped doing it. Yes people misspeak, items get new names, if you know what someone means, that is all it matters. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or a human thing but I have seen aspies nitpick over words too like on Fetlife an aspie mentioned how signs at places will say “Thank you for busing your table” and that bothered him because it didn’t say “Clear your table after you are done eating” and I found that to be annoying. He knew what the sign meant but it still bothered him so he decided to nitpick. I wonder if he would refuse to listen unless you speak it right under his standards. I find this behavior annoying in anyone and I used to talk to another aspie online and she found this annoying too. She told me even students in her class would do it and they were all NT. It’s different if it was a innocent mistake because they took it literal. It was innocent when I argued with my mom over the phrase stop that teasing. I told her she told me to stop that teasing when my mom had told me to quit teasing her. To me there was a difference between saying stop that teasing and quit teasing and to my mother they meant the same thing. I wasn’t nitpicking when I kept correcting her and that was when my mom realized I was serious. I honestly didn’t know stop that meant stop that and not do something else so I didn’t know stop that teasing meant do not tease, don’t do another tease. When she did tell me what she meant by it, I thought it was her strange way of telling people to quit teasing her. I didn’t know this was how most people said it, I thought it was only her. I was 15 when I figured it out. So it was a figure of speech like how “knock it off” is or “raining cats and dogs.” Oh yeah Jerry also did this shit too. For example, I would say “That is new” when I would see new buildings that had been built that were not there when I had lived in the area as a child before the move. Jerry argued and said they were not and they had been there for the last seven years. Okay this was an innocent mistake I figured. He doesn’t know what I mean by the word new and he had always lived here and I had not in eight years so I told him to me it was new because it wasn’t there when we lived here. He still said it wasn’t new so I told him anything that was built after August 1998 is all new to me. He still nitpicked so I really found it annoying so I think it was all intentional because he knew what I meant now when I say that’s all new and this is all new but he still chose to “correct me” because he didn’t care if it was new for me, it wasn’t new for him so therefore he was right and I was wrong and instead of just respecting my own perspective and my own background story, he had to dictate. I wouldn’t tell someone with sensitive hearing that something isn’t loud when they say it is. That is just so obnoxious. But I wonder if that was the narcissism instead of him just being an asshole? If it was indeed the narcissism, he could have been doing it to make fun of me or to give me a hard time and to get me upset and frustrated because that is what they do, it’s all a game to them. He might have been doing it to provoke me to make me so angry I would start getting violent thoughts about him because that was what he had read in my posts online and that is something they do, they want to know everything about you so they will try and gather as much information they can so they will know what they can use against you, what your weakness is, and how to push your buttons so they make you the crazy one and anything you do, they use against you. It all makes sense now why he would read through my posts and was so interested in me and why someone online told me how that was all wrong and creepy. That person knew it was a red flag and knew it meant it was not a good thing he was doing if he was romantically interested in me. Now I know why.