Self defense=bullying?

Friday, November 20th, 2015

In the past I have been called a bully for self defense. I was considered a bully in the 7th grade because everyone thought I was over reacting and reading the situation all wrong when I defended myself. But no one ever used that word to my face until I was 16 when my mom told me I was a bully. It is a possibility I might have been getting picked on and the kids just did it passive aggressively to make it look like they were innocent and just playing around and they could have done it to other kids too and to each other to make it look like they are just playing and it’s nothing personal to make me look crazy. That is how bullying works sometimes, they tend to work in pairs. The adults can’t see it because they are being manipulated by the kids so therefore they will think the victim is over reacting and punish them for it. But because of my diagnoses, I wasn’t punished for it but I did get sent home once for hitting a boy in my class which was what they called a suspension for the day and I didn’t even know I was suspended until years later. I only thought I was sent home to calm down so I would relax and feel better. I was also not treated like a bully then either for my self defense but yet I still felt then I was being sided against and then I ended up with an aide so I thought then they did side with me and now I have an aide so she can protect me from the bullies. But no it was actually to keep me in line and for when I get inappropriate and to help me through social situations and to help me with my school work. It was actually to protect other kids from me and I was kept in the resource room to protect them from me.

There was another time I have been considered a bully online for also self defense and I once stood up for myself on a  forum only to be chewed out by a forum admin and she called me stupid and told me to quit being dumb. To this day I have no idea what that was about or even understand but that was years ago.

I decided to go on Google and look up self defense being called bullying and I only saw one result from Babycenter blogs and it was called Where is the line drawn between self defense and bullying. The rest was only about anti bullying and nothing about people being accused of being bullies for self defense. Why is that?

Is it not normal to be accused of being a bully when you stick up for yourself? Does this mean I have been doing it all wrong when I would defend myself? Is there a rule about self defense and is there a line drawn for when it becomes bullying when you defend yourself?

I read the book Bullied written by Carrie Goldman and she wrote about these two girls who were friends. One was named Christina and the other I forget her name so I will call her Anne. Anne accused Christina of hitting on her boyfriend Mark also not his real name because i forget what the name was. Christina denies it and Anne’s friend stick up for her and they start calling her slut and stuff and going online and spreading rumors about Christina. The friends believed the were defending their friend Anne but it was actually bullying they were doing and being cyber bullies.

So my question is if there was a misunderstanding where someone thought they were being picked on so they defend themselves, are they a bully because they misread a situation thinking they were being picked on so they did self defense?

Can people accuse others of being a bully as a way to gas light to make the victim question themselves and make them think they read the situation wrong if they are being accused of being a bully just for sticking up for themselves? I had thought this is what people were doing to me. They don’t like that I could defend myself and I wasn’t weak so they decide to call me a bully. Also friends tend to stick up for their own friends so they might see me as the bad guy so when I defend myself, they will think I am a bully. It doesn’t surprise me when friends stick up for bullies whom they are friends with. It is possible the friends are manipulated by the bully and it is human nature to believe your friend over someone who isn’t so the bully could tell them the victim started it and the friends believe them. Friends also automatically assume the victim is the bully because they assume the victim started it and the bully is defending themselves so therefore the victim gets accused of being a bully. But how odd there was nothing about this in search results when I looked. No discussions about it anywhere except for one place.

 

 

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