Hating violence does not mean hating autistic people

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

I saw an article posted again http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie-zampino/is-autism-the-real-public_b_8191918.html and that got posted on Wrongplanet too. I also saw another news article about neighbors suing parents who have a boy with autism for causing disturbance on their block because their kid was aggressive and left unsupervised. You can google it but there are two different versions of it unfortunately so I don’t know which one to believe. Either the parents are lying or the neighbors. But anyway the person wrote the article and I do agree that everyone should be aware it’s a spectrum and it shouldn’t be sugarcoated and I do not deny there are children and adults out there with it who are violent. That is just something that is hard to accept and a very uncomfortable truth. But sadly when you go online and read personal stories about autism, lot of it is negative because I will hear about aggression and psychopathic things they do but no one will post about the positives because there is nothing to rant about if your autistic kid is none violent. No one will post “My son is autistic and he has never been violent” or “My girl is autistic and she is not aggressive and she would never hurt anyone or break anything. She can’t stand to have things out of place and always gets upset when she sees homes get destroyed on TV whenever there is a fight on it.”

But anyway what bothered me about the article was when the writer seemed to defend the parents as if violence is acceptable and should be tolerated and if you feel tormented, you’re intolerant about autism. If your kids are afraid, they’re problem so they should work on to not get hit by them. Okay so I read the comments and they made very good points, I read about a four year old being beaten by a 13 year old autistic and what was the trigger the four year old did. She got on one of the swings to swing and the rest were empty but the boy felt they were all his so he got upset and started choking her and stuff. Yes parents should watch their kids if they are aggressive and if they are so hard to control, keep them away from other kids. Doing normal things could trigger an attack in someone who has autism. I am not saying all autistic kids are violent and will attack you out of the blue when you do normal things. I could be walking and then some random stranger attacks me because I had on a color that was a trigger and I bet that would be blamed on me, like victim blaming I see.

But anyway the author didn’t like the comments according to the thread posted on Wrongplanet where the link got posted. Honestly the comments came off to me about violent kids, not about autism. If a kid is violent, they should be locked away and stuff. Even the commenters posted how they have a kid with autism or how they knew someone with autism or worked with special needs so obvious they don’t hate autism. They only hate violent kids. What if this was about a normal child?

I have been called a liar about Frankie on Reddit, his violence has been trivialized on another forum and that person  brought up the topic war when that was totally irrelevant to the discussion so it made me think he was just trolling me or he was just an idiot and he is probably violent himself. That is like trivializing narcissism and saying everyone is one and how it’s normal human behavior or saying abuse is normal in relationships and that is also normal human behavior. My mom said people who are narcissists will say everyone is a little narcissist just to make themselves feel better. That would be like Ted Bundy saying everyone is a little violent and does some murder. Sure any human can kill but we don’t do it out of cold blood like he did. Normal humans do not throw axes at people when they don’t get their way like Frankie did.

Even my psychologist said that what Frankie did was not normal or even Asperger’s and it was just a mental illness because no kid tries to get their way using aggression and bully to get it. i think he had Conduct disorder and it would be interetsing to see if he ever turned out to have antisocial personality disorder which is what i have read about ODD can lead from that to Conduct to APD by adulthood. But I have never heard any updates about him or even bothered trying to look him up online like on Facebook nor have I even bothered to see if there are any news articles about him to see if he had gone to prison or done any violent crimes. Last I heard, my mom said he was doing very good and he was attending normal high school and then he went to Amsterdam for a bowling tournament and had a good time so maybe he did grow out of being violent and is no longer Conduct. But hard to say because even Ted Bundy acted charming and nice and non violent, same as Diane Downs and then she shot her kids or Beth Thomas acting good in the doctor’s office while she was being interviewed. violent people can just shut off their abuse and violence and be good, Jerry was sure good when we met and not emotionally abusive and then it started almost immediately. he didn’t keep it up long and he acted find with his employers and no one might not even guess who he really is so this positive story about Frankie does not tell me if he is no longer violent and that he had changed. He could have just put on his good behavior for high school and for the trip like psychopaths and narcissists do. but yet I suppose this makes me a bigot and intolerant because of my personal experience and that is not ignorance, it’s called a personal story. One mom in the comments was called ignorant for telling a story about an autistic child having guns and shooting at houses and her own children were too afraid to play in their own yard because of him and she was also called a liar and someone else called her ignorant. The one who was ignorant was the person calling her that word because she didn’t even know what ignorant is.

I don’t know why we have to accept violence in someone if they are autistic. We wouldn’t accept it in psychopaths or narcissists or any normal people but yet we wouldn’t be called intolerant or bigots. But what if someone had a friend with autism and they liked that person but yet they didn’t accept violence in autism and didn’t accept violent kids or violent adults, even the ones who happen to be autistic, then what? Does that mean they hate their own friend? What if the person was on the spectrum themselves? Does that mean they hate themselves?

But yet by lot of peoples logic, if you hate certain behaviors in people, you are seen as not liking kids or not like special needs, whoever is doing the behavior. For example, you go to a restaurant to have a good time with your partner and you had paid over fifty dollars total but these parents next to you had brought their kids and they are whiny and noisy and running around and you then come online and rant about it and right away you are seen as not liking children despite that you could have your own you left at home or the fact you like your neighbor’s kids you watch or talk with or like your own nieces and nephews, you just don’t like kids who misbehave and are not watched or controlled by their parents.

Another example would be with an animal, someone brings a dog into your home but that dog is smelly and he sheds and he drools and pisses in the house and you don’t want that in your home so you ask to have the dog outside, you are seen as hating dogs and not liking them when in fact you like dogs who don’t slobber or drool or piss in the house.

Or let’s say you know a special needs child but that kid always gets into everything and knocks stuff out of place and tress passes and takes things and digs up flowers and acts aggressive to other kids, you are seen as disliking special needs children if you have a problem with that kid or don’t want your kids around them when in fact you maybe have one of your own or were friends with one or the fact you grew up with a bunch of them because you were in special ed yourself.

I do not understand this logic and why people don’t separate it. There was a boy in my class when I was six who was a pathological liar and would pinch kids and hit and call names and he even threw chairs once, I did not like this kid because he was a bully and always got us into trouble with his lies, I guess that would mean I am intolerant right? One thing they will be right about is I am intolerant of violence and abuse. I will never accept it or think it’s okay and expect everyone to put up with it and invalidate the victims fears and feelings. Instead it should be how to get these kids help for their behavior and more awareness about these kids because people still think a kid is so innocent they can’t be violent or pose a danger to others and they are so easy to restrain and they can’t cause seriously harm but think about their future. They will turn into aggressive adults and be strong people once they reach adult size.

You have probably noticed that whenever I talk about violence and mention autism in it, I never put the autism tag down because I want to keep those two separated and not associate autism with violence and contribute to it.

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