Sunday, September 20th, 2015

So my husband thinks I am very black and white because I go to the extremes and I am all or nothing but yet it if it’s something I want, I am willing to compromise.

But there are lot of gray areas in life and I always realize how things aren’t always black and white so what does this have to do with what I want. One example is I believe women should get away with murder when they kill their abusers if there was no way out and I feel the same way about kids and parents. My husband told me that is getting what I want and I asked him “How?” and he explained that it would be something I would want so I imagine him abusing me so I would want to kill him. That makes sense because I am putting myself in their shoes and I wouldn’t want to go to prison for self defense but if going to prison meant protecting my own children from the abuse or myself from the abuse so jail would be better than being beaten or my own kids being beaten. I told my husband that victims should get away with killing their abusers because that would be one less violent person in the world. But my husband said “but what if they just said they were being abused?” and I said “They would have to prove it” and he said “But what if they couldn’t and everyone else never knew about it?” I told him he made a very good point. I am sure people have done killings and claimed to be abused and I am sure abused victims have gone to jail. Sure they would all say that but they could be lying you know.

Sure people would say they were abused and then be in jail because there are stories out there about it but they could be lying after all. I remember the time when Betty Lou Beets was executed for killing her husband and she claimed she was abused and her adult children made the same claim too about her. At 14 years old I thought it was BS and they were just saying that to keep her from being executed because if that were true, she wouldn’t have been on death row and executed but back then I was ignorant and naive about our system. Now after learning how messed up our system is (which is a good reason to be against capital punishment), it is possible she was abused but I wouldn’t know. I remember when Kelli Stapleton tried killing herself and her daughter and she also claimed she was being beaten by her and her youngest daughter. It is also possible she could have been lying to keep herself out of jail and it is possible she could have provoked and manipulated her daughter into beating her to make it look like she is a victim and the video she took could have been staged but I will never know. But I think what she posted online got used against her because what you put online is there forever and she made her comments public. I know she tried to make light of her situation by trying to add humor about it so she said things like “I want an abortion but I am 11 years too late” or “autistic people grow up and flip over cars and spin the wheels” and she wrote how she hates autism. I don’t really blame her because I would hate it too if I was being beaten on a daily basis and I would also say stupid shit but from what I understand, you never ever talk that way about your child no matter what. They could chase you with a knife because you didn’t know how to fix their computer or be kicked down the stairs because you wouldn’t buy them a new gaming system, and it still wouldn’t be okay for you to talk that way about them. Hell your kid could even be a psychopath and it still wouldn’t be okay to talk that way about your child. But yet psychopathy can’t be diagnosed if the patient is under 18. Your own kid can even be a predator and it still wouldn’t be okay to talk that way about them. I wonder if it becomes okay when they reach 18 years of age?  Would the sentencing for Kelly have been any different if she didn’t write those things online? But then again she is happy to be in jail because it’s treating her better than a “cell of autism.”

My dad had been telling me in my childhood that life is unfair, this is one of them.

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