Forgiving your abusers

Tuesday, September 8th, 2015

I came across this blog post and I can’t comment on it unfortunately because he must have them set off for when a post is past a certain date after it’s been posted.

http://disabilityand.me/2013/04/01/to-my-abuser/#more-817

I think it was brave of him to forgive and that he has a good heart and it looked like he was justifying it when he wrote why she did it. I think victims do this for closure and to forgive to move on. Sarah Burleton wrote a book called Why Her? and she wrote it from her mom’s perspective who also abused her. In the book she made her mom out to be the victim and her own step father but I still didn’t feel sorry for the mother, why? Because she chose to sleep around with guys, she could have put her baby up for an adoption she was “forced” to have, she could have just let her sisters keep her, there were other options and I do not believe anyone should be forced to have a baby because that will just be a disservice to the child. The kid could be resented, abused, not given enough love or support and a kid needs more than food and water and shelter and a bed to sleep in and clothes to wear. This is also why I believe in abortions. But Nancy never took responsibility for her mistake so she always blamed her daughter for it as if it was her own fault that her mother decided to sleep around and conceive and be born. And plenty of moms have gone to college after having kids, they just wait until their kids are in school full day before doing it. Nancy could have done that or not blame her daughter at all for it and say she ruined her life. Nancy ruined her own life.

But I also thought it was brave of Sarah for what she did about her abuser, looking from her perspective, and I don’t know how accurate the whole book was but it was interesting to see what goes on in the abuser’s mind when they do abuse. But I don’t think Sarah was also trying to justify what her own mother did just like how Zach wasn’t also trying to justify his ex’s abuse. He had the comments off so I couldn’t comment. I would have wrote:

“I think it’s brave for what you wrote and seeing from her perspective, How many abused victims do this? It also looked like you were justifying it. I still have yet to try and forgive my ex for his abuse but then I think if I did that, then it means I can’t blog about it anymore or even talk about it like other abuse victims do when they talk about their abusers because talking about it still makes most people think you haven’t moved on. But my purpose of it is to share my thoughts with others and for other victims to read to help themselves and even reading blogs and post by others about it also helps me. But like you I also looked at why he did things and it also didn’t mean I was trying to justify it. It was looking at from his perspective and where he was coming from but it still didn’t excuse what he did.”

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One comment on “Forgiving your abusers

  1. […] people who write comments I appreciate them.  To be honest its easier to share this with the whole internet, than it is with […]

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