“Everyone is a little OCD”
“I am so OCD about my house”
“Everyone is a little narcissistic”
“Everyone has troubles in school”
“Everyone is somewhere on the autistic spectrum”
“Every kid has ADHD”
Do any of these sound familiar. Lot of people find it offensive, especially when they say it for humor. My mom doesn’t agree about the narcissistic part and she said it is insulting when people do that about disorders. She told me she thinks whoever said that online about narcissism were a narcissistic themselves so they were doing it to make themselves feel better and to pretend it’s normal. I told her people do the same with other conditions too such as for anxiety, OCD, autism, and she agreed it is offensive when people do it because they are trivializing their problems. I told her they did the same thing to me when I was a kid and my mom asked “We did?” and I said “yeah remember you used to tell me all kids get picked on, it happens to everyone and I said it happens to me more and and they don’t have it happen to them all the time or everyday” and my mom told me remember when she told me they will pick on one kid and then move onto the next and it will all be over when I am an adult and told me I was just more sensitive and noticed things more so it all stood out for me. I told her that makes me think that I am crazy and exaggerating and what if I really was too sensitive. She told me I wasn’t exaggerating so I said “remember when I used to say how I wanted to trade my brain for a different brain and asking what is wrong with me and why couldn’t I be normal?” and my mom said they stopped doing that if I have noticed and I said I was a target so kids picked on me more so it was all the time and being told that happened to everyone made me feel like I was crazy or too sensitive even though I didn’t know the words then for it. It was a good thing they listened to me so that was probably why I started going to a therapist in 5th grade and it was also my little brother who would tell them that kids are really mean to me. My mom admitted she was wrong and I was right but they never made a big deal about it, they just stopped trivializing it because they didn’t realize they were doing it.
But there is a phrase “If everyone is an asshole, you’re the asshole” so what if I was an asshole? That is probably why I was taken to a therapist because if I was an easy target then something was wrong. That is how people get a diagnoses because they notice their problems seem to follow them everywhere and why is everyone such an asshole, why the bad luck? So they think it must be them and something must be wrong with them so they go to a psychiatrist or something and find out what the issue is. I think that is good thinking there because if they were always playing the victim going “Everyone is mean, every one is a jerk and everyone is so intolerant and narrow minded” then that wouldn’t get them anywhere in life. I was always the victim when I was a child because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I only knew I was different because of how I was treated so I thought it was because of my name so it gave me bad luck. It always aggravates me when I see some autistic people say online how kids should decide for themselves and if they want help or not and if they want to seek therapy or not. That is baloney because how is a kid going to be capable of making that decision? I didn’t know as a child, if my mom had left me be and thought “I will leave that for my daughter to decide if she wants help or not or if she wants occupational therapy and if she wants to fix this or that” that wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere because I didn’t even know I had impairments, I didn’t even know about my problems, so I wouldn’t have even made those decisions so how can anyone think a kid would be that capable? That is nuts. A kid isn’t going to know they have impairments or how they are being affected. Would I have made a decision at two years old to learn how to talk or make that decision at age five to work on my language and communication? Would I have even made a decision at one and two to have tubes put in my ears to fix my hearing loss?
But yet I get why people would say “Everyone is a little….” because it is true but people with a disorder take it further than lot of other people. Keeping the house neat isn’t OCD nor is being nervous about an EXAM an anxiety disorder nor is not wanting people touching yourself autism nor is wanting to be appreciated for what you do what someone wanted is narcissism. What makes it that is the reaction and how the person handles it and how they express it.