Homework battle, let your kid fail

Saturday, August 22nd, 2015

So I have been making my kid do his homework because you have to reinforce it, not rely on the school to do it for you. I have been helping my kid and my mom said holding his hand and having him practice writing numbers and letters isn’t helping him so I stopped and now he resists. Since then it has been a battle. Nagging, threats and following through. I can take away TV, video games, youtube, and he still won’t do it. My husband isn’t as firm as me so he lets him do those things anyway when I am at work so that doesn’t help. I can also make him sit all day and he still won’t do it. He would rather goof off in his chair.

I have even tried positive no’s like “you can watch TV after you do your homework’ and I only make him do a page from each workbook and my mom told me he needed to draw circles and lines so he could practice holding a pencil so I stopped reinforcing the workbooks. she also bought him wipe and draw on cards and he did them for one day and then the next day he didn’t want to do them all again and said he would get tired. It was a battle to get him to do them and my mom showed me a number puzzle he bought him over a year ago so I tried that with him. having him find a certain number and counting how many items on a puzzle piece and he just started to play around. He can count to 13 but he kept skipping the number 5 so I knew he was playing games. I get upset and mad and just toss things aside as if I am having a little tantrum and I leave him. lately he has been very resistance to homework and i have tried telling him why he should do it or else he will have troubles in school and school will be easier for him and this is what he will be doing all the time in school. I even did my mom approach, telling him kids will think he is stupid if he doesn’t know how to hold a pencil or write or draw numbers and letters. my mom used to tell me the same thing as a child to get me to practice time tables and memorize them. I was already being called stupid in school and by other kids in the neighborhood so the last thing I needed was kids thinking I am stupid for not knowing multiplication. Perhaps my son is too young for that approach. He has never been called names by other kids or been verbally abused so that approach won’t work with him.

I realize you cannot force your child to do homework and most parents make their kids do it and fight it and turn it into a battleground because they don’t want them to fail so I had started to think, maybe I should make a tough decision and let my kid fail. let him learn a hard consequence. Have him go to school and struggle with his assignments and then he will see why he should do it at home, practice practice practice. That is what I read somewhere online about picking your battles. Use the natural consequence.

So I decided on that and surprisingly my son wanted to do some school work so I let him do it in the other workbook my mother got him and he colored the A cards red and then he wanted to do his other workbook so he did the lower case U’s all on his own like I wanted him to. Then he wanted me to read to him so I did and then I decided that was enough homework and he also drew a smiley face on scratch paper and I had my daughter do the same in her high chair. I gave her a pen and paper so she could scribble on it and have practice holding the pen. that was my mistake with my son, I didn’t have him do that as a baby. I don’t want to make the same mistake again with my daughter. Then maybe there won’t be homework battle when she is three or four.

I have thought about going on the subreddit Parenting and asking about homework and if I should just let my kid fail but decided to go online and look up how to get your kids to do their homework.

Now my son got his video game privileges because he did some school work and he has played enough without any TV and video games.

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